How about Cloth Physicks?

[Saccharin]

All I want is for hair to be able to interact with clothing, it seems like it'd be a lot less resource intensive than cloth physics and I can't wear half the chests in the game because my character's hair juts through it, despite being able to be affected by movement and wind just fine.

Well it could be the same as cloth physics if you treat long hair as say like a piece of cloth as it sort of does now. Proper hair is made of thousands of tiny strands so if SE would implement proper hair it would take enormous amounts of time to process.