I haven't read all the bickering in the thread so bear with me if I missed something.
OP, this should not happen. You have the possibility to meld your gear even if you do not have a crafter but it is more tedious this way. Now imagine you want something changed on a pair of pants in real life. Do you not ask someone else if you don't know how to do it simply because you do not have the skill for it? How is that different from crafting? "This is a game" you might say, "everything should be at my disposal without doing anything for it" you might say. No, this is not how it works. Games have a sensitive balance and giving everyone free reign of melding without any effort is just wrong.
What they could do is make an NPC available that melds for you BUT, on the flip side, this NPC should have a 50% chance to fail the meld (materia is lost)
I do not craft for profit, I genuinely enjoy crafting and I often meld stuff for friends when they ask me. It's not a bother because I enjoy what I do. Just because you feel like you bother someone does not mean they are necessarily bothered by it. Just live with it or level your crafters further. If you have a good stack of money, simply check the levequests and buy HQ items off the MB. It will cost you but you will not have to craft.