I like you. I love dps who do this and wait for tanks to get aggro before going all out.
Even so, I don't assume and always let the tank do his/her thing before I hit. Nothing makes a monotonous run more annoying than failure of the party to work together or drama so I would rather just do it right every time instead of creating more obstacles for the tank. I make a point of commending and complimenting good players on their roles.
If asking politely for them to wait for you to pull does not work, best thing you can do is just let them "tank" and die and when they do, explain why.
Good luck and don't let it discourage you from doing your job the best way you can.
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