I feel like there are too many emotions on either side to have constructive debate and these arguments usually devolve into "I want to keep my house without obligations *whine*" vs "I want a house and you aren't using yours, I want it *whine*"
Personally, I don't own a personal house, and am happy with my little room in my FC house, but I see 2 problems with the feature, which if one was fixed would make the system a million times better:
1. 45 days is not enough for personal housing (FC housing should be fine with the current system). The reason for this is that unlike FC housing, this can only be controlled by one person, and that one person is, contrary to popular belief, entitled to a break that lasts longer than a month and a half, whether it to be family, work, travelling, or just plain burned out by the game, nobody should be punished for not committing their life to the game. I initially read the system as 90 days, which seemed much more reasonable and I liked it, which would be 45 days no questions asked, and 45 days giving warnings, which should be spaced out more than getting your first email 10 days before your house is demolished.
2. Do not destroy rare items if your house is reclaimed. I think this is the main salt on the wounds, as these items sometimes cost as much as the house itself, and under the current system, these items are simply gone forever if the player decides to "have a life" outside the game, simply putting a reclaim system to get those items back when you want to buy a new house because your old one got reclaimed would mean that players wouldn't get punished as much, as they would retain all of the value that their house had without owning their house anymore.
To answer the OP, yes this system is poor, but its a system that should exist, and should be fixed so that at least one of the above is fixed, this means that empty plots become available again, and active players who have housing aren't punished for having a house.