This. COVID and WFH only made it even more glaring too since people with cushier jobs got hours and hours of extra play time, while essential workers who still had to go to work basically got pushed out of the community for being "inexperienced."
We're at this point where apparently even dedicating what time you have often isn't enough. No, you're expected to put in more "minning" in RL too, such as ditching other games and hobbies so that you can put your everything into raiding. Not good. I thought we'd gotten away from that after the Old Hardcore Era faded?
The reasons are relevant, especially when one of them (both WoW and XIV being guilty) is that the default community approach ends up being "okay, it's middle ground content, best practice is to fill the group with high tier players and steamroll it like baby content" which means that actual middle ground players it's meant for still struggle for niche.
You'll need more than that. I'm not actually sure this is solvable within XIV's constraints.
Healers still won't be able to "have fun" outside of baby mode, because the punishment debuffs make the natural "welp, he zigged when he shoulda zagged let me patch that up" flow impossible (especially now that Damage Down has had to come into play in a game that relies HEAVILY on time limits to provide challenge).
Without the punishment debuffs, however, DPS would (again largely because of said time limits) likely just try to stand in fire as much as possible to optimize output, which is also not exactly fun for the healer ...
Sad cynical thought: I've been beginning to get the thought there is a very real possibility that cooperative multiplayer (outside of its competitive aspect) was an experiment with a finite lifespan. The goals of long term replayability (which you need in order to supply enough team mates for the newcomers) and a reasonable rewards system seem to increasingly pull at each other to the point of tearing the whole thing apart.
Eh. It doesn't suck as bad as people say, IMO. This one lies on SE's shoulders: when so much content is designed so that just 1 out of 8 people who doesn't get it means the whole endeavor is moot despite the efforts of the others, you're easily going to feel like more people are bad than actually are. (I ran the math at one point. Assuming 8 people selected randomly, it takes surprisingly little of the overall pool to fall into the "potato" category to make it odds on that at least one of the eight will be: less than 10%, in fact. So the vast majority of the players can actually be gud and it will still easily feel otherwise, especially with the limited filtering PF allows)