"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[FelicityC]

QUOTE TRUNCATED

This sentiment exactly. I have two modes when it comes to my impatience. Teacher mode- this is where I bottle up my annoyance and smile, politely inform people of suggestions or how to approach a situation. Or ask them if they want help, or if people who aren't speaking up need help in what to do. This is the mode when they are new players. It is easy to tell when you have so many years in these games, as you know. I love to teach new players, even if it can be frustrating at times. It feels incredibly rewarding to me to fail something badly, encourage and teach them what to do, and then watch them do it with ease without me even having to do 'extra' work. Everyone else is happy too. These are the fun times with sprouts; and a little bit of communication can go a long way in avoiding toxicity. A simple "If you're new, don't be shy, ask for help!" can mean the difference between someone silently struggling and a clean, easy run. I would much rather teach someone a single mechanic and clear the dungeon faster than start raging and bitc hing about how bad people are, only to make you waste more time by failing further. It is self-defeating and ignorant.

I have a second mode, however, and that is with clearly experienced players (the mentor stereotype, lol) who are being toxic. It is these people I have no patience for, because they should know better. Mentors that jump on the healer and tell them they're bad or need to heal more. Meanwhile, everyone is failing to do mechanics, that guy has been on the floor the whole fight. I recall specifically a mentor (while I had a crown on too) who berated me for not trying to raise anyone, when it was just me and one dps alive left. I was resetting, because resetting is the only thing we could do to not waste more time. The only reason people were dying was because some new players didn't know the mechanics, and there was no healing through that. He told the other (new, sprout) healer the same and told them to heal more.

I went off on him and asked if he was even paying attention, because no one had died from lack of healing, they were all dying from mechanics. That's me 'going off on someone'. I never call anyone anything or personally attack them. So many people do, and then complain they're being censored. You can make your complaints known without being offensive. It's not passive aggressive, it's just thoughtful criticism. There is a big difference, and the difference is your own confidence.

I have countless little stories of helping people. I have been toxic as everyone has, but every time I was, it only hurt everyone and made everything take longer.

I believe the phrase "don't worry about not doing well if you're new, as long as you're learning something" can mean a lot to new players, and I say it often. New players are anxious about being bad, but they're just learning, and it takes time.

[Arazehl]

What a baited thread this was. So many bites.

[MaikoRaines]

I have countless little stories of helping people. I have been toxic as everyone has, but every time I was, it only hurt everyone and made everything take longer. I believe the phrase "don't worry about not doing well if you're new, as long as you're learning something" can mean a lot to new players, and I say it often. New players are anxious about being bad, but they're just learning, and it takes time.

I'm not perfect. The farthest thing. I've had my moments of falling off the wagon and just participating in bashing. But when I started taking steps backwards some years back I'd try to look at it outside of the box and consider that "hey this person's new" so lets get them into my Discord and give them a push. Everyone learns at different paces and some might require a little hand holding. But for the hands I've "held" most of the time, they'll come back to me and outpace me in the role I was giving them a hand in.

And I'm perfectly happy when someone who was struggling begins to show me up and puts me in my place.

I'm not better than the next person. Better informed? Sure. That also depends because I've had 10 years of experience in this game and was subject to all of the changes, the fights, the mechanics, the classes. So lets pass down some of my experience and advice to someone who is receptive. They did after all take the time and money to purchase the game, choose the class that they wanted to try and I want them to genuinely succeed at it.

I'm not gonna tell someone, anyone, to "watch a video" because I never do. I learn the things I do because I tuck my pantlegs into my socks and go in knee deep. That's how I learn. Hands on experience. Most of the people who struggle and take the time to hear me out eventually learn and then demonstrate it better than I can put it into words.

I think if more people were willing to lend and bend an ear to someone struggling at a fight, tackle it with a little bit of empathy, we'd have the ground work to potentially a much better community. Unfortunately we'll always have impatient gatekeeping perverted edgelords here - and we just have to be vigilant about how we handle it. We don't know the person behind the keyboard. A lot of us play this game to escape IRL stuff or to find enjoyment.

Who are we to take that away from them?

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

Syntax Genocide not withstanding....

This quote here is one of many perfect examples of what I mean when people are less constructive and more targeting of the problem rather than hammering out a solution or taking the time to help. Just because you have a garbage situation in your real life happening doesn't mean you should be taking it out on people who are using the game to escape their troubles and cope.

And "yay best community ever yay" isn't putting aside sarcasm. It's just further cementing the issues I lay out and people like you who aren't willing to help out the community aside from throwing more tires on the fire.

[BaconBits]

Man, I yearn for the days of being able to roast someone so hard their entire family would feel it for generations to come, only for them to retaliate with a tactical nuke that would leave nothing but a smoking crater and broken dreams. Nothing builds camaraderie like vigorously insulting someone's lineage over a rousing game of Minecraft.

No /s here btw.

[Doc_Seraph]

Kupo, if you see me in Jenova I will hug you and toss flowers! <3 kupo