"Swift completion" is relative to the game, not the community

[MiaShino]

Friendly advice is obviously a different matter, but someone may refuse to take it on. Or someone feels criticised and doesn’t handle that well, which is quite common.

I am not licensed therapist buuuuuut if being informed to use doomspike and dragonfire drive after the tank pulls twenty mobs hurts on the emotional level, there are bigger issues at play then this Lala can solve.

In the end you have very little say in how someone else decides to play.

*A party member was dismissed from the duty.*

[Nishira]

I am not licensed therapist buuuuuut if being informed to use doomspike and dragonfire drive after the tank pulls twenty mobs hurts on the emotional level, there are bigger issues at play then this Lala can solve.

Thank you for the laugh. But you know, if telling people how they should play is working for you, great! From what I gather of these discussions it’s not tho. And personally I think trying to understand why something does not work is more useful because there may be potential solutions there instead of having to settle for frustration.

I think at its heart the main issue might just be phrasing. I’ll try to explain what I mean.

‘You should just pull wall to wall.’
‘You should know how to play by level 50/60/70/80.’
‘You shouldn’t slow down others and be a burden to them.’

Vs

‘You should respect other people’s right to play as they wish.’
‘You should be considerate.’
‘You should not rescue pull a tank around.’

I’m just giving a few examples that pop up a lot so no personal attacks But what they demonstrate is the inability of ‘should’ messages to encourage and foster different behaviour usually. I think it’s safe to say it annoys people on both sides of an argument. ‘You don’t pay my sub’ is the in game equivalent of ‘You’re not my mom!’

In essence one could argue, if anything, it shows a lot of people behave very similarly! They may just be on different sides of a discussion. Most of the time the answer will be somewhere in the middle. From personal experience I’d say accepting people may make different choices and/or may be different from you, trying to understand their reasoning and keeping it in mind with how you approach stuff, and trying to figure out ways to encourage people in positive ways to experiment and learn might make these discussions less polarised and who knows, maybe result in something that has a positive impact for each side.