It's not really "hardcore" to do big pulls, though. In most dungeons I run as a DPS or Healer, the tank will always do big pulls (single pulling tanks being a minority and often adjust to big pulls when asked to). Shadowbringers made tanks extremely easy to play and gave some Jobs gained new AoE skills to use to make AoEing less obnoxious (especially for melee DPS, now that TP is gone).

Most don't expect you to be raid ready, either. The most I really expect out of anyone is to at least learn how to play their Job decently (no free-styling or doing whatever this DRG I got in E6N did: True Thrust > Disembowel and then Doom Spike > Sonic Thrust spam until Disembowel wore off... never did a full single target OR AoE rotation and often had broken combos).