Tactful ways to inform people that they're playing badly?

[Dreakon13]

you will find that the community in-game is a lot less toxic than the forums and is generally more helpful, assuming you find them/join a good FC or linkshell.

Honestly, I don't think I've met a single nasty person in the game yet. And I've met a few outstandingly nice people. And that's just from the duty finder really. So I believe it. But I'm only ~level 40-50 and I'm still doing level 30-40 MSQ content so there's plenty of opportunity still for that to change lol.

[RoyalBeef]

I did no such thing, I know plenty of Endgame players who don’t act like jerks about people in casual content not playing completely up to par. I was not calling out all Endgame players at all just the ones with bad attitudes towards those less skilled than they are.

You're trying to make an "I hate players who do XY" comment into something it's not (yes I looked it up). According to your logic every human that ever said they hated this or that is a hate filled angry person who is a threat to society and wouldprobably kill someone for cutting them in traffic or something. You're a prime example of someone that tries to make everyone walk on eggshells, because as soon as they act or talk like a normal human being, they will be dissected until you find 10 reasons why they're toxic and phobic and whatnot.

[SerLuke]

Honestly, I don't think I've met a single nasty person in the game yet. And I've met a few outstandingly nice people. And that's just from the duty finder really. So I believe it. But I'm only ~level 40-50 and I'm still doing level 30-40 MSQ content so there's plenty of opportunity still for that to change lol.

I’ve had very, very few experiences like that in game I can probably count them on my hand. I recall back when I was a pretty new player I was having trouble on the first boss of the great gubal library and the healer said “you guys should uninstall the game and find something else to play because you are no good at this one” then they rage quit the duty. We got another healer and we were fine. Another time back when shield oath was lvl 40 someone was telling me to use it and saying I was bad for not having it in a lower lvl duty where it wasn’t available(I was very green back then and I didn’t realize the second boss of the sunken temple had a separate aggro table for the heart) but those are two out of countless, countless positive experiences I’ve had in the game. Did those instances give me anxiety for a while? Yes but like I said few and far between.

[Dreakon13]

I think there's just a lack of self awareness in general (in a lot of areas of society these days tbh).

Both from the new players who don't recognize that they're a burden/drain on others if they aren't actively trying to improve. And the vet players who think they're Gods gift just for giving struggling players the time of day, no matter how carelessly the words come out (then come on here to brag/complain about it).

Fixing it would involve both sides working a little harder to be better to eachother.

[Valderen]

There seems to be an assumption or expectation that people should go online to read guides and stuff, and many people don't do that, a lot don't even know they exist...they just play the game, and have nothing to do with the game outside of the time they press "play" and "exit game".

I've played on and off with the same people since EQ1, some 20 years ago across various games, and to this day I know some who have never read a guide for their class, or guide for dungeons or raids. The most they've done is get add-ons, or read up on where a piece of gear drops. For the most part they just play the game and enjoy figuring out stuff on their own, which part of the fun for them. I respect that, even if sometimes it's frustrating.

The thing is, we cannot expect all the people to play the game the same way, to put the same effort into. There's different people who enjoy different things, or course it's frustrating sometimes because we're all thrown in together.

At the end of the day, if you solo queue for duties, or don't have a pre-made group then the reality is that you should be ready for this and accept it. If you're not, then you're probably going to have a very bad time for a very long time because it's not going to change EVER.

When I queue solo for a dungeons, I fully prepared to die a few times learning fights if someone is new, or that the dungeon might take 30-40 minutes instead of a quick 20 because of new or bad players. I find myself having a much better experience if I don't go in expecting a perfect run all the time, much less stressful too.

[Kobalos]

There is an issue to constructive criticism and just being plain rude
I for one always welcome tips and hints and have thanked folks in the past

[FedoraTheExplorer]

You're trying to make an "I hate players who do XY" comment into something it's not (yes I looked it up). According to your logic every human that ever said they hated this or that is a hate filled angry person who is a threat to society and wouldprobably kill someone for cutting them in traffic or something. You're a prime example of someone that tries to make everyone walk on eggshells, because as soon as they act or talk like a normal human being, they will be dissected until you find 10 reasons why they're toxic and phobic and whatnot.

You seem easily offended.

[Rilifane]

If they're doing the basics right, I'm good.
For tanks that means keeping aggro and picking up stray mobs within a reasonable time, dodging aoes and using def cds. If the tank actives Rampart right before running into a group, it's not optimal but I won't nitpick.
For healers that means keeping the party alive as long as the incoming damage is reasonable, dispell as neccessary, dodge aoes. I don't expect them to heal other's stupidity. If they can, good, but in the end it's up to the party to avoid avoidable damage.
For dps that means using aoe at 3+ mobs and single target for everything below that, dodging aoes and using their own dps buffs, even if timed a bit poorly like Raging Strikes towards the end of a fight.

If someone gets something fundamentally wrong like a RDM constantly hardcasting Impact/ Veraero/ Verthunder, A BLM standing around after MP are drained to wait for Astral Fire to fall off, a DNC not choosing a dance partner at 60+, a SMN not calling his pet, a tank not turning on tank stance even after the first pack of mobs had a field day whacking everyone but the tank, a healer spamming expensive heals without needing to and being out of MP halfway into the fight or trying to single target heal with Medica, I will politely speak up with something like "hey [name], don't you want to dance with me? I won't step on your toes, I promise!".
Yes, I've seen all of those. Not regulary but it does happen.

I think the moment you queue for something via DF you agree to teamplay similiar to a teamsport. Nobody likes their goalkeeper to stand at the side and pick his nose while the other team scores one goal after another. And they will speak up, even if it's just a casual game, even if they don't really know each other.
So I think the "nobody would do that in real life" is invalid.
I don't need to be a top football player to know that goalkeeper is supposed to stay close to the goal. Nor does somebody needs a WHM at 80 to tell me, that I shouldn't heal with Medica if the tank is the only one taking damage. If they know better than me, for whatever reason, I will heed their advice. The results speak for themselves and if they don't, I can always revert back to "my" way of doing things. No harm in trying something differently, if only briefly.

Nitpicking on minor things like less-than-optimal oGCD timing or prattling on and on about full rotations is imho pointless in DF. Keep it short, stick to the most imporant things and don't immediately jump in after one mistake. Fat fingering is a thing that happened to the best of us.
But if I notice someone seems receptive to advice, I will gladly stay behind as long as they are willing to listen and tell them what I know about the class they struggle with. But I won't force a full essay down anyone's throat who doesn't want advice.
If they're playing so poorly it prevents a decently smooth run and got aggressive after a polite attempt to give them a pointer, that's imho just as toxic as someone rudely commenting on poor gameplay and I will aim for a votekick. If that doesn't help, I will leave.

[Dreakon13]

There seems to be an assumption or expectation that people should go online to read guides and stuff, and many people don't do that, a lot don't even know they exist...they just play the game, and have nothing to do with the game outside of the time they press "play" and "exit game".

I stand by the fact that "googling" for this game isn't as cut and dry as some are making it out to be. There's a reason why I leveled Maurader to 15 for no reason a few weeks ago thinking I needed it to unlock Dragoon. It wasn't for lack of effort.

[monk-dps]

I stand by the fact that "googling" for this game isn't as cut and dry as some are making it out to be. There's a reason why I leveled Maurader to 15 for no reason a few weeks ago thinking I needed it to unlock Dragoon. It wasn't for lack of effort.

The funny thing about google is that sometimes, not all but sometimes you can get different results based on your info google has. I don't have hard core facts on it but there have been times me and someone else googled the same thing only to be met with different results. But I think that's based on ADs and what info google has tracked for you/of you. For guides on this game you do come up with alot of -old- advice, but the actual best way is to search on reddit and or various discords. Because yeah google isn't perfect and while you can get up to date info, there are times you get 4.0 guides for classes in 5.0. It happened to me on monk so I know you're not wrong.