Struggling as Healer on Wall-to-Walls

[AphraelAmarantha]

Except practice does make one better. Throwing your hands in the air and giving up at the first sign of challenge is what causes people to not progress in terms of skill level. Sure, some may never be as good as the top raiders. But not everyone has to be. And people simply aren’t demanding that they be.

Who says I've thrown my hands in the air and just give up without trying and trying and trying and trying? Again, you don't get it. Re-read my post.

You are holding on to a lot of hostility for literally no reason.

I've explained my reasons for my hostility. I'm not repeating myself, this is exactly why someone like you will never get it. And I'm tired of explaining myself.

[Saefinn]

I've explained my reasons for my hostility. I'm not repeating myself, this is exactly why someone like you will never get it. And I'm tired of explaining myself.

Whilst I think understand your reasons why you might be hostile to people who're being elitists, talking people down or putting them down or not making accommodations for them etc. Whilst I may not necessarily agree hostility is the answer, I can respect that we're all different here and handle things differently and in such cases, if they are being toxic, then if somebody is hostile back to them, then what do they expect?

But what I don't understand is the hostility when somebody was not rude, elitist, did not put anybody down, did not do anything untoward, whose tone was not off and gave advice the OP was struggling to get in-game whilst trying to be helpful? From what I've read, despite your sweeping generalisations about people on the forum, we've come here to try and offer advice we think is helpful.

[HyoMinPark]

Who says I've thrown my hands in the air and just give up without trying and trying and trying and trying? Again, you don't get it. Re-read my post.

I didn’t really want to bring up your previous posts about struggling to heal Mt. Gulg, but I’m going to. You were throwing your hands up in the air in that thread—when you told me that you didn’t want to try to heal it; when you told me you didn’t want to try and level DNC because you’re a bad player who has never been able to get better. What you displayed in that thread was a defeatist attitude. And you’re expressing it again in this thread...while also hijacking it away from the OP, who is just asking for ways that they can get better. Make your own thread if you want to continue this. Don’t take away from theirs. And certainly don’t imply that they need to give up, either.

The OP is trying to learn. They are asking for advice on how to get better. You’re telling them to just demand small pulls—so not even try to improve their performance or get more comfortable with large pulls—or to just be a diva and /leave. That’s not advice. That’s not helpful. You aren’t being helpful, and you’re turning this thread about them asking for help into a soapbox for you to scream at “the elitist forum mob”. That’s not cool.

I've explained my reasons for my hostility. I'm not repeating myself, this is exactly why someone like you will never get it. And I'm tired of explaining myself.

And your hostility is overflowing so much that you’re lashing out at people who are trying to help the OP as if they’re speaking against you or attacking you personally. I think you need to step away.

[AphraelAmarantha]

What you displayed in that thread was a defeatist attitude.

Not defeatist, realistic. I know my limitations, do you? I've done Mt. Gulg before several times and I hate running it, it's a pain in the ass, someone always dies, and try as I might to get better at it, it doesn't happen. So why am I going to try to do something over and over and over if I see no difference, no improvement? Isn't that insanity? How long must someone "practice" at something and never improve to realize they are never going to get better at it? Why would I continually throw myself at a brick wall and see no difference?

Now that I think about it, that's what I'm doing here with you. You still don't get it, still harping on practice like its a god. Please, you are totally blind to someone's plight who "practices" forever and struggles and you don't ask yourself "well, what if they can't get better, what if that is their limit? What if they have already peaked?" I know when I peak. I know my limits, I know what I can and cannot do. For someone to tell me "Oh just practice, get better" when I cannot get better because talent and natural skill and tryign for so so so so long infuriates me to no end.

[ForteNightshade]

Excuses

That summarizes this entire response. Here we have the OP asking for help and you've hijacked their thread and sprout off about your problems with healing; assuming they will struggle because you have. Unlike you, they're asking for advice and seeking help. At this point, I'm convinced you just want to justify your stance by dragging someone else down. The sad part is people would offer their advice—and have before if I recall past thread. You've dismissed and called people elitists.

Stop projecting and let someone else who wants to improve attempt to do so.

[HyoMinPark]

Not defeatist, realistic. I know my limitations, do you? I've done Mt. Gulg before several times and I hate running it, it's a pain in the ass, someone always dies, and try as I might to get better at it, it doesn't happen. So why am I going to try to do something over and over and over if I see no difference, no improvement? Isn't that insanity? How long must someone "practice" at something and never improve to realize they are never going to get better at it? Why would I continually throw myself at a brick wall and see no difference?

If you’re seeing no difference in your performance, are you sure that you’re actually trying something different? Or are you just doing what you normally do, and hoping that it eventually works? Have you tried doing things differently? Dropping DPS entirely and focusing purely on healing? Prioritizing your oGCD heals first, if you rely heavily on things like Afflatus Solace and Cure II? Using things like Divine Benison and Asylum more? I’m spitballing since I don’t know exactly how you handle large pulls, but have you ever tried doing something different from what you normally do to see if it works?

Everyone hits walls when they’re learning. But the way you climb over that wall is by continuing to push at it. People learn from mistakes. If you never make mistakes, you’ll never learn to do anything differently than how you’ve always done it. Likewise, if you never try anything different, you’ll never learn if it will work better for you or worse. Even if you don’t want to acknowledge that this is true.

Now that I think about it, that's what I'm doing here with you. You still don't get it, still harping on practice like its a god. Please, you are totally blind to someone's plight who "practices" forever and struggles and you don't ask yourself "well, what if they can't get better, what if that is their limit? What if they have already peaked?" I know when I peak. I know my limits, I know what I can and cannot do. For someone to tell me "Oh just practice, get better" when I cannot get better because talent and natural skill and tryign for so so so so long infuriates me to no end.

All that I see here is an angry player who is stealing another poster’s thread to argue about how difficult their “plight” has been while showing little to no consideration for the OP and how they want to actually get better through practicing larger pulls. As opposed to going full diva and going with the “my way or the highway” strat. There is no further reasoning with a person like you who refuses to see beyond their own prejudices, so I will not be replying to you in this thread any further. If you want to continue this discussion, my Discord tag is in my signature.

OP, I’m sorry that your thread got derailed.

Lol, thinks i'm the one derailing the thread when I gave my advice to OP and someone wants to be snide and make a false assumption on page 2, so I responded in turn to correct their idiocy, and then you wanting to butt in. But whatever, always blame the healer right? lmao.

Sigh. I really won’t reply to you anymore after this edit, but are you actually serious right now? Sure, Mhaeric was out of line with his comment, but you were the one who blew up at another poster on Page 1 for supposedly attacking the way you play when they weren’t even speaking to you. And you’re the one who continues to rant in this thread. I’ve tried to be polite with you, but I just can’t anymore, so I’m with Numenor: get over yourself.

[Saefinn]

I didn’t really want to bring up your previous posts about struggling to heal Mt. Gulg, but I’m going to. You were throwing your hands up in the air in that thread—when you told me that you didn’t want to try to heal it; when you told me you didn’t want to try and level DNC because you’re a bad player who has never been able to get better. What you displayed in that thread was a defeatist attitude. And you’re expressing it again in this thread...while also hijacking it away from the OP, who is just asking for ways that they can get better. Make your own thread if you want to continue this. Don’t take away from theirs. And certainly don’t imply that they need to give up, either.

Emphasis mine. Definitely worth leaving it there so we don't derail further to avoid further distraction from the topic at hand.