Is there a place for me?

[Keddera_StormMoon]

Ah yes, all the mundanes remarking how it must be the OP's fault.

The boring will never understand the odd and weird. It's okay, we're used to it.

[Crystal_Raven]

Look at me i'm so weird and quirky! I'm not like other people!

Fixed that for you. That's how you sound.

[Keddera_StormMoon]

*chuckles* Yup, about the reaction I expected.

[Violet_Galaxy]

My goodness. OP you need a /hug. In-game and in real life.

[Barraind]

I'm a misfit. A completely socially retarded freak. I have autism. I don't harmonize with normal people. I end up alone and bitter. I will never be able to behave the way others want

Selling yourself pretty high there...

Those terms are just ways of trying to explain, reject, control, humiliate etc people who don't function well with most others.

To even suggest I should seek psychiatric "care" to "help change my behaviour" is one of the greatest insults imaginable.

Not only are those absolutely ignorant statements, but are only ever parroted by those who KNOW they are the toxic kind of person a great majority of people, other "freaks" included want absolutely nothing to do with, but are unwilling to do anything to change their behavior because god forbid they be forced to have any sort of personal responsibility when "BUT MUH DISEASE!!!" should work. "I'm not an awful person, its muh disease!" "I'm not someone you wouldnt ever chose to spend time with, its muh disease". "I'm not someone you have to explain to every other person whose never met me that they have to either pre-emptively mute me or just never speak at, to or around me, ITS MUH DISEASE!"

I feel like groups that are going for first week/world first clears don't care that much about feelings between each other.

As someone who has raced for world firsts in multiple MMO's over the years, and with people of all personality types and abnormalities, you have to be extremely problematic for anyone to care enough. As I said before, we made it a couple years with several people who could only carry on a normal conversation if they did nothing else, and even that was a struggle. Years.

When raid sizes arent 72 / 40 / 36 you get a LOT more freedom about the kinds of people you dont have to endure because they might be good at video gaming,

[guardin]

I'm a misfit. A completely socially retarded freak. I have autism. I've been kicked from raid groups, bullied and blocked from what I really want to do in this game, which is PvE, simply because I don't harmonize with normal people.

I end up alone and bitter.

I will never be able to behave the way others want but I'm not a low performing player on average and I do have a server 3rd on O4S before my raid group told me I was AIDS and kicked me.

I play FFXIV everyday and want to find other freaks and misfits, people who are genuinely retarded and hated by others but with some level of skill in this game, to do content with. I've grown allergic to normal people. I can't stand them and they can't stand me. I need to be with people who are super excentric.

I'm not looking for normal people to have pity on me. I've given up trying to adapt to what others want. I can't change who I am. I'm looking for people as weird and deviant as me to actually enjoy the game with.

well... dont worry if about "finding people" play alone with trust and just meet people and leave. Dont find a place just wonder meet and move on to the next group. If you keep searching for friends online you're gonna depress yourself. IF you happen to meet some cool peeps THEN become their friends. dont force it

[Penthea]

The problem is that FF14 seem to attract many people with a thinner skin, and many females, that often cause a different set of drama as we, the mostly masculine gamer community, know. So you, with a short temper and more aggressive language, are usually on the very opposite of that group. You are the lighter, and these people are the dry straw. This won't go well often.

Good lord I'm not sure how I missed this post. The obnoxious need to stand out is incredible; different typeface, text size and text colour, with two massive signatures at the end.

And then this oversung idea about how women are different creatures and therefore create different types of drama that men are unused to...please. In my 10+ years of gaming online and in table-tops I have not seen any drama from women that I haven't also seen from men. Maybe if you start realising that people are people you will get on with women better. Our wants and needs aren't radically different to men. And if you're referring to romance-based drama then what I have to say to that is it takes two to tango and sometimes both dancers are bad.

[Mikki]

Only thing he said was that I was ranting too much.

I don't think there are many people who enjoy someone who does little else but complain and I think even your posts here kind of come off that way and some even a bit combative. If it's your typical behavior then I say "good luck" but it'll be hard. It sounds like you may just say mean and hurtful things or get frustrated and take it out on others, which could be causing them to dislike having you around. If you don't want to "change" that, then by all means stay as you are but changing doesn't necessarily mean you are "conforming" it could simply mean you are learning to deal with your problems better. And who knows, maybe you'd be happier for it.

Either way, hope you can find some friends.

[Lalarrific]

I hadn't had an feeling like that - but I've mostly been looking at their adult resources for working and accommodations. They've also helped me get in contact with several people - doctor, lawyers, etc. in the past.

I suppose I'll have to look at what else they have before I recommend it again though - there isn't any real cure for most disabilities like autism, just training and coping skills. Couldn't say for sure if that's a part of this though. I could link some of the other things I've looked at myself - but those are generally published papers on research and studies, which I understand not many people are interested in.

I'd recommend this website: https://autisticadvocacy.org/