Tanks do have greater entitlement. But consider your examples. If a DPS doesn't AoE, the party can still make up the DPS. If the tank can't handle big pulls, knows they can't handle big pulls, and then gets pressured into doing them and fails, then the party will go up one side the tank and down the other. They will get called a shit tank. There is a much greater stress on the tank to perform well and mistakes that cause wipes are not looked on fondly.

So yes, tanks do have greater entitlement, and it's justified.

I'm a WHM. I let my tank know that they can pull more if they're pulling small and we're not having issues. But I always leave the choice in their hands. It's a real person behind that toon. I show respect by acknowledging they know their limits. I show willingness to work within those limits. It's called a party for a reason. We're all intended to work together as a team.