Sexual harassment

[Reinha]

You can't block every flying monkey that comes your way when someone is determined to punish you for daring to have a spine and slander your reputation to anyone who is willing to hear it. Which coupled with the threat of losing friendships and manipulation by the abuser often keeps victims quiet.

But the thing is, you can block them all. The busy status prevents anyone from contacting you privately. Losing reputation means nothing outside of professional circles because any community willing to believe slander is too rotten to be a part of anyway. If you prioritize your self worth higher than any relationship, these abusers have no leverage. I am not saying it's easy, but I am saying that this approach is more effective than just silently taking the abuse for fear of losing your social circles and hoping it will go away one day.

The part where things get tricky is when the abuser is someone who might arrive at your physical location to do who knows what, or someone who has the ability to affect your livelihood. Then it's time to contact the authorities. Again, simply tolerating it is not an effective way to ensure your safety.

Square Enix can do very little in a situation involving out of game contact. I think in-game communities are the ones capable of curbing harassment in the gaming circles. Isolate every person using common harassment tactics like spreading nudes, putting people in a negative light or asking people to message spam someone. If abusers use the community as a tool for harassment that means at some point they will reach out to other people to gain support and to act on their behalf, thus revealing themselves.

[KaivaC]

For a community that tends to have a fairly good reputation in the MMO market, some of the comments that have been made are rather disturbing. I seriously question those who have said that seeing something like this brought humor to them, or that it was irrelevant to the community. Whatever happened to basic human decency? Have we gotten so jaded over the years that this is the typical response to situations like this? Whether we like it or not, this story does matter, because if something like this is now getting exposed, how many more silent cases are happening. This may be uncommon for FFXIV, but it is still something that the community needs to be aware of nonetheless. This is not something worth being mocked or derided upon. Regardless of the facts presented to this point and whether the truth is fully in the light right now, the fact is that real lives are being negatively affected.

This isn’t just some ‘FC drama’ nor is it some bait for popcorn. Something like this has bled into real life. If this was a family member of yours and they were essentially held hostage for two months, would you be laughing at them when you finally get ahold of them, not knowing if they were a victim of sexual assault or worse? Or if their boss for a fansite, one of the larger fansites for this community, was threatening them and telling them to provide nudes or jump on Skype to perform lewd acts, would you still look that family member in the eye and laugh at them?

The folks who say that law enforcement is an easy call away do not understand just how hard it is to get out of a situation like this, of how much damage it does to your mind. It takes a long time to build the strength to even get out of a situation like this. Especially if you were already in an emotionally compromising state of mind as it were. For a healthy, rational, and strong person, yes, perhaps it is a simple choice to make.

But for a victim who feels powerless, the choice is not that simple. Some of the comments that have mocked and laughed at a situation like this just reinforces this. How is something like this even remotely amusing?

[BunnyChain]

Funny how this very thread is proving the point. Hopefully it will encourage more people to come out and talk about their issues. And make more people aware than not everything is "petty drama". And very remotely maybe make some realize what they might be doing to others; abusing their position and trust to make people do asinine things.

Some (most?) people seem to dismiss how easily they can be manipulated. I believe to read a study that concluded with: the more you think you can't be influenced the easier you are to influence. Just staying aware of it, already improves your situation. And those people who the tactics worked on were specifically vulnerable to it. MMOs are another social space and you need to take care participating in them. Think of yourself when you were younger and how many silly things you did, or when you were in love. Social interactions are not 'good' or 'bad', as aren't people. Blacklist might work for many cases but ultimately it's like putting a band-aid on an infected wound.

Lastly I need to say that no "dirt" should hold anyone back from talking about these issues. Your sexuality is not something that should be held against you (assuming consent from both). And those who do, need to grow the hell up.

[SinisterJoints]

Looking over alot of these replies I guess this community isn't nearly as decent as I thought...

So what do you want this community to do? Are you here just to stir the pot or are you looking for a particular outcome? People's posts are reflective of how they feel about the entire situation. He is not a community leader, just someone popular with a fan site. Also, there are ways to black list them in game and report them, you can block someone on all your social media, block them on discord. Outside of that, what can we or SE do? Nothing... so I don't know if you are just trying to rile everyone up ? What is your agenda here because i think its the former.

[Kerwin]

Because essentially holding a girl hostage for 2 months is simply FC drama.

She could have left. There's an idea. lol.

[Penthea]

She could have left. There's an idea. lol.

Do you think everyone lives down the road from the police? That people who are abducted like this automatically know the geography of where they're being held? That no one lives in remote places? That there is no such thing as dangerous wildlife, terrain or weather? That no one fears leaving would anger an abuser to potentially take more drastic measures to make them stay? That abusers never take measures to make it very difficult for victims to leave or contact someone?

Try thinking for a change. If life was always so easy mental and physical abuse wouldn't exist.

[Zsolen]

MODS NEED TO CONDUCT A FULL INVESTAGATION ON ALL THE PARTIES INVOLVED.

Why stop there? Why not investigate everyone that has ever played the game? Everyone could be guilty of something! Or they (not we) can focus on the information given to them and contact who they need to contact. They can be SE or any business connected to it. Mud slinging and witch hunts won't work, are uncivilized, and often drag innocent people into it. They are often counter-productive, as now cooler heads have to focus on those conducting the witch hunt to cool themselves.

[ShadowHunterrX]

The problem is kinda a double edge sword. Ofcourse you have *real victimes* of sexual harassment. But things can be made up very easy these days and because of these fakes the line of real and fake is thin.

But as someone who has been false accused of horrible things by someone ingame. Only because I rejected for not going out with her irl. This way the creep becomes the victim and the victim the creep. You cannot defend yourself and you will be judge to punishment without knowing. Because most things happend behind my back. I heard it months later and in those months I was on friendly terms with her. Still feel the result of it today.....

[Remyogic]

I'm having a hard time understanding how a set of polygons can be sexually harassed..........

[Mahri]

Those of you who harass.

Those of you who will continue your abject mockery of those who suffer it.

Those of you who actively strive to make this situation worse.

You are all one and the same.

You are the problem.

You have a choice.

Fix yourself.

Nobody owes you a second chance.