(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[StarRosie]

The bottom line here is that if someone offers you unsolicited advice you are the one who chooses your reaction, not them. Do you act like a petulant child or an adult?

I know I'm gonna regret jumping into this debate but, there is another facet to this. These people are not required or obligated to listen or take said unsolicited advice and they can easily and politely turn the advice down. I've had people I try to help as a mentor politely turn my advice down and ask to be allowed to learn at their own pace. At that point, it became my choice on how I choose to react, and I choose to act respectfully of their wishes and move on.

Everyone is different, plays for different reasons and overall has different priorities. There will always be bad players beyond help, who work to do the bare minimum and nothing but. There will always be folks who struggle even when given helpful advice. There will always be jerks who snap at you but there will also be folks who are respectful too. I find it for more rewarding and a better use of my energy, to focus on those who are respectful and want to be helped, then get angry over those who don't want to be help and decide to scream at me for trying to help. We can't save everyone.

I also think it is a mentality thing, I think we focus so much on those who screech at us for trying to help that it skews our perception of how many actually do. I find when I look at the numbers, there are far more people who have either listened to my advice or explanations, then there have been folks who screamed at me for trying to help. It's like when you go through a road with a lot of traffic lights, you focus more on the times you get all reds then when you get all greens because all red gets you angry and it has a bigger impact on you then the passive and nice all green moments. If that makes any sense.

I guess what I’m trying to say in the end is, don’t give the folks who yell at you for trying to help the time of day in your mind. It’s not worth it and hurts in the long run, I know that sounds over simplified but, it’s not. Just, don’t give jerks the time of day and remember the cool folks who are respectful.

Anyways, that’s about it from me. Back to my lurker cave!