Gayorzea: Discord Partner community for LGBT FFXIV players

[VanilleFang]

Not to be rude, but the fact that you are able to have a husband would not even be possible without people standing up for gay rights, being vocal about their discrimination, and them banding together for change.

I think my first post emphasis this point. It is thanks to what others have done in the past that I feel its ridiculous to use something as unimportant as who I am sexually attract to as a reason to join a group. And the number of upvotes I think further illustrates this point. People accept people much more readily now-a-days, and feel people shouldn't isolate themselves.

Groups like Gayorzea are still needed in many parts of the world, and just because coming out is a "whatever thing" to you, does not mean it is for everyone else.

I'm not dismissing that some places need help in this regard, but in what part of the English speaking world is being LGBT not seen as okay? I know that some communities may not like it, but those are few and far apart.

By saying things like this, it seems you are extremely lucky to live in a place where you can reap the benefits of others standing up for your own pursuit of happiness.

Or I understand that someone calling me a "fa***t" isn't the end of the world. I grew up in the 90s, where homosexuality was the most common bully tactic. I was bullied consistently for 4 years, so trust me when I say I know it can be hard. But it being hard is part of what helps you grow. Locking away in a group of people who treat you like you're special and amazing just because you're LGBT sounds very boring. It's protecting yourself with a false illusion.

I know some people need help (suicide rates are high and such) but I don't think coddling them is the correct answer.

[Rokke]

Feel free to be as fabulous as you like with people you perceive as friends, but have some common sense around strangers.

If you feel the need to broadcast your real life to them (real life being who you are not in a game) then thats your decision, but imo like I said before, thats just asking to be trolled

To encourage others to do so instead of telling asshats to behave is sad.

das it mane

[Hestzhyen]

Maybe it's just nice to be part of a larger group that won't get all judgy on your ass if and when those details do come out. The idea of being part of a group with a similar background, community interest, etc is not a new concept. I don't generally see people getting all uppity at the idea of people putting together a club for those who love....poodles or some shit. So what gives?

He's not really being an a-hole like some of you guys are painting him. His perspective is "if you don't want grief among strangers, don't share information about yourself". And that's perfectly reasonable given how when you pug you never know who you're talking to, what state of mind they're in, or what will set them off. If you're in a private chat like what's being advertised in this thread then sure, be yourself. But when you are with randoms, watch what you say. This goes for far more than sexual orientation or gender identity.

[Skivvy]

He's not really being an a-hole like some of you guys are painting him. His perspective is "if you don't want grief among strangers, don't share information about yourself". And that's perfectly reasonable given how when you pug you never know who you're talking to, what state of mind they're in, or what will set them off. If you're in a private chat like what's being advertised in this thread then sure, be yourself. But when you are with randoms, watch what you say. This goes for far more than sexual orientation or gender identity.

I haven't implied anyone is an asshole in this thread.

As Rokke above mentioned, it's not like people bust out of the gates with their name, followed shortly by what their sexual preference is. However, none of us can tell if that new person we just met will end up being someone we spend more time with or possibly become friends with down the road. If you're from the same Discord group, I would imagine it takes away most of the worry/stress over what may happen if/when certain topics come up.

[Hestzhyen]

I haven't implied anyone is an asshole in this thread.

As Rokke above mentioned, it's not like people bust out of the gates with their name, followed shortly by what their sexual preference is. However, none of us can tell if that new person we just met will end up being someone we spend more time with or possibly become friends with down the road. If you're from the same Discord group, I would imagine it takes away most of the worry/stress over what may happen if/when certain topics come up.

Which is why I have no problem with people advertising them. Discord, FC, or LS chat is the business of the people who join them. But someone giving out some sage advice regarding what's safe to say among strangers shouldn't be vilified. It might have been misplaced, but it's still worth heeding.

[dynus]

Uhm. I just "came out" to my Discord group (yesterday? day before?) and you know what? It wasn't hard... or important. It literally came up in normal conversation. They thought I was a girl because I have a husband, I corrected them. That's literally all that happened.

Coming out was hard the first time I did it, with my mother. After that? It's a whatever thing. Anyone who makes a big issue of "constantly coming out" puts too much emphasis on their sexual orientation.

I mean, yes, the first time is always the hardest, but you just illustrated my point perfectly; you're always correcting people because people assume you're straight, ergo, you're always coming out.

It's not an emphasis, it's just... well, living.

[VanilleFang]

I mean, yes, the first time is always the hardest, but you just illustrated my point perfectly; you're always correcting people because people assume you're straight, ergo, you're always coming out.

It's not an emphasis, it's just... well, living.

I.. what? I never said it's not an on going thing. I was pointing out that it's a non-issue.

I don't see it as coming out to state a fact. Since I have accepted who I am it's nothing more than me making a correction. Before I proclaimed it verbally, with a person I love, I hadn't fully accepted myself. After the first time it literally became nothing more than something akin to a sneeze.

[Texa]

Mods really need to send this thread out to pasture. Or maybe pull a Old Yeller with it. Something along those lines.

[ArionXx]

Mods really need to send this thread out to pasture. Or maybe pull a Old Yeller with it. Something along those lines.

Why?

I am all for supporting discords like this. It's not like you are limited to one.

[Texa]

Why?

I am all for supporting discords like this. It's not like you are limited to one.

Op was just advertising a linkshell and the thing has spiraled into whether or not it's okay to talk about your personal life in a MMO. That's wildly off-topic and the FF XIV general is also not the place for people to discuss whether it's okay for lgbt people to discuss their lives with their online friends. This place can't even come to a consensus over whether healers should DPS or not and people here are going on about whether minority groups deserve to voice their presence. Some of y'all are going to hurt yourselves thinking too hard.