Gayorzea: Discord Partner community for LGBT FFXIV players

[Jobio]

Sorry, I'm not fan of boxing myself into a particular group based on things as immaterial as sexual orientation.

I'm glad that you do not need this Discord. I want to live in a world where Discords like this aren't needed. But we aren't there yet. I live near SF. Do I need this Discord? No. Being LGBT around here is pretty accepted. But I joined to help give back to others who don't find themselves in as fortunate of a situation as either of us. I don't see why you feel the need to sling mud at the people who do use this Discord. Its just another resource. You can be in multiple Discords at once. Nobody is boxed in by their sexuality in this case, unless they /only/ join this Discord and then refuse to talk to anyone else on the entire planet.

[Chortle]

Uhm. I just "came out" to my Discord group (yesterday? day before?) and you know what? It wasn't hard... or important. It literally came up in normal conversation. They thought I was a girl because I have a husband, I corrected them. That's literally all that happened.

Coming out was hard the first time I did it, with my mother. After that? It's a whatever thing. Anyone who makes a big issue of "constantly coming out" puts too much emphasis on their sexual orientation.

Not to be rude, but the fact that you are able to have a husband would not even be possible without people standing up for gay rights, being vocal about their discrimination, and them banding together for change. Groups like Gayorzea are still needed in many parts of the world, and just because coming out is a "whatever thing" to you, does not mean it is for everyone else.

Sorry, I'm not fan of boxing myself into a particular group based on things as immaterial as sexual orientation.

By saying things like this, it seems you are extremely lucky to live in a place where you can reap the benefits of others standing up for your own pursuit of happiness.

[Texa]

This thread is one prime grade A platinum hot take after another. The mods should probably close it at this point.

[Nedkel]

Its nice a people of same orientation could find another half that plays this game like they do, i dont find any problem here right. :P

This discord is not any different than thread with the people looking for other half, there is a need of something like this for minorities and it needs to be vocal in order to them to find themselves out in the enviroment they are comfortable in.

[Lorgana]

No I'm implying that I think it's dumb to tell people details of your personal life that have no impact or relevance in how you play this game. If people react negatively to your community that's not your fault, but I don't know a lot of homophobic trolls who can read minds. Just sayin if you're experiencing toxicity in game for being gay, ask yourself how they know you're gay. Or better yet, why you told them anything about yourself to begin with.

Mibbe I'm just an old fart who has a clear cut dividing point between what I share online and who I am in real life. Like I said, you do you.

[Hestzhyen]

No I'm implying that I think it's dumb to tell people details of your personal life that have no impact or relevance in how you play this game. If people react negatively to your community that's not your fault, but I don't know a lot of homophobic trolls who can read minds. Just sayin if you're experiencing toxicity in game for being gay, ask yourself how they know you're gay. Or better yet, why you told them anything about yourself to begin with.

Mibbe I'm just an old fart who has a clear cut dividing point between what I share online and who I am in real life. Like I said, you do you.

I agree on the "don't say more than necessary" message. It just invites unnecessary drama, from "brb kid's crying" to "afk rq hubby's home"... someone will take offense or see an opening and that's the end of that. Obviously this doesn't apply when you're among friends or trusted acquaintances, but why include those personal touches when you're among strangers? "afk 5 min" is more than sufficient. My perspective is probably a bit skewed since I'm a little older and I had to hide who I was for many years in online games. It's great that gaming communities in general are more open and diverse now... but that wasn't the case for a very long time. And if you don't want people to make a big to-do about what you are, don't even hint about it.

All that said, there's nothing wrong with advertising a discord for XIV players to group together as long as they aren't rude and nasty to outsiders. Keep the personal stuff in private channels where it belongs, let everyone else focus on the game. I can understand why people would want to group by sexual preference even though it has nothing to do with XIV itself - sometimes, you just want to include some minor personal details and not have to worry about who saw it. Ironically enough, by emphasizing your sexuality when searching for groups, you can avoid talking about it altogether.

[Rokke]

No I'm implying that I think it's dumb to tell people details of your personal life that have no impact or relevance in how you play this game. If people react negatively to your community that's not your fault, but I don't know a lot of homophobic trolls who can read minds. Just sayin if you're experiencing toxicity in game for being gay, ask yourself how they know you're gay. Or better yet, why you told them anything about yourself to begin with.

Mibbe I'm just an old fart who has a clear cut dividing point between what I share online and who I am in real life. Like I said, you do you.

Upon joining a group I don't generally introduce myself as "HI IM ZOEMI TIA AND IM A BIRACIAL MUTT IRL", but when people socialize, outside aspects of player's lives tend to bleed out: One of the people I regularly farmed byakko with is a father of twin girls. One of people in my hunting ls is going to medical school.Three of my old fc’s officers live in Australia. One of my friends is a recently married gay black dude. How'd I find out? He got married and we all wanted photos from the wedding, so he posted them in our ls’ discord.

While I don’t know every aspect of their lives and they don’t know every bit of mine, I can’t imagine us being half as close if we stuck to being as impersonal as possible. To encourage others to do so instead of telling asshats to behave is sad.

[Lorgana]

Which is why in every single reply on this thread I've stated that you will obviously share more with people you've come to trust as friends. If you had an idea of them being toxic you probably wouldn't be friends, right?

Last word and TLDR before anyone tries to strawman me. Feel free to be as fabulous as you like with people you perceive as friends, but have some common sense around strangers.

[Skivvy]

Which is why in every single reply on this thread I've stated that you will obviously share more with people you've come to trust as friends. If you had an idea of them being toxic you probably wouldn't be friends, right?

Last word and TLDR before anyone tries to strawman me. Feel free to be as fabulous as you like with people you perceive as friends, but have some common sense around strangers.

Maybe it's just nice to be part of a larger group that won't get all judgy on your ass if and when those details do come out. The idea of being part of a group with a similar background, community interest, etc is not a new concept. I don't generally see people getting all uppity at the idea of people putting together a club for those who love....poodles or some shit. So what gives?

[JumperX]

It cause cringe because it is not part of "society norm." People have ideas an opinions (since forever) that want to share. Faith, customs, traditions, moral values, and rituals are what separete from one another. An example that happened to me in one of my jobs. I made friends with a co-worker. She is korean. We were working for over a year together. One day an old lady was transferred to our department and my friend stopped talking to me.

Apparently the old korean lady was very close-minded. The old lady consider other races inferior to Koreans and my friend should make friends within her own ethnic.

Human beings are interesting creatures.