1. To make the boss expert, you are going to have to do things that aren't gradual.
Let's say boss has a cone aoe attack that targets a dps. It hits him for 50% of his health if he doesn't dodge. This is too easy, so you boost the damage to 75%.
The thing is...there's no difference. The healer just patches him up. We have bosses that can drop a player to 1% HP or lower as a mechanic, and it still doesn't change; the healer still patches him back up if he screws up. You can stand in the fire no matter how much damage it does as long as it doesn't kill you.
SE tries to make it gradual, so they add vuln stacks. If you get hit enough, you will eventually get one-shot. But the boss doesn't do their attacks fast enough to be an issue in a normal fight. You get jiji standing in a puddle with six stacks on him.
So in the end, you make it so that two hits of the cone aoe wipe you; the first gives enough vuln for the second to kill you, or maybe even the next aoe. but even then, all the healer has to do is raise the person and they can fight again, just a lot slower due to penalized stats.
So to make the boss not able to be zombied through, you add a strong dps check that penalizes any dps who is at 50% stats. If you get raised too much, it's a wipe.
You go from "let's try to make gradual difficulty increase" to, well, pretty much the same thing you get in an ex fight. Because you really need to have those kinds of things to make the fight expert; you can't gradually make it a challenge in any real way because the healer can fix things, and the dps can still complete things, just a lot slower. To teach the kind of skills you want the players to have, you pretty much replicate the stuff you find in savage. The bosses may not have as much HP, and the mechanics may be slower than them, but the way the game is, you really need to wipe people and have dps checks to add any sense of difficulty to the game. And if you look at some of the harder old dungeons, they do this exactly. Qarn will one shot you if you don't get on the suare to avoid doom. Bees will one-shot you if they are allowed to live. If you do not clear out bombs and fast, the last boss in brayflox hard will wipe everyone over and over again. But Aurum vale is exactly what happens when you try to make a gradual boss; a good healer can keep someone up with 4-5 stacks on some of the bosses, and even if they die, nothing really happens; they just get raised and go back in there.
As for optional experts, go nuts. We have them already, we call them ex trials. You even can get unique mounts from them. They don't really seem to work in the sense of "lets make the playerbase better, though." Because you can ignore them if you like. Heck, the ARR ex primals are already the perfect difficulty for this kind of thing. Its just unless you force people to do them, the people who would learn from doing it won't, and the people who think everything is easy will, and we are back to where we started.

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