I think the issue here is you do not know how to see what we are talking about in other players. For example, do you find it fair that someone can cheat the ilevel requirement to enter a place that requests ilevel 300 average, bringing a 285 weapon when you are given a 290 weapon from the job quest at 70? Also the job quest gives an important ability to most. In the case this is referenced to, it was BLM, who NEEDS foul to be effective to clear AoE trash in a timely matter and still important on bosses to help with up time because server tics can screw you over. Can you understand why people might be upset seeing a player set foot in the last 4 man dungeon and not have your level 70 ability?
We are not talking about YOU being bad or not trying hard enough. We are talking about people that LITERALLY press 1 button throughout the run, people that use pure ST when there are 5 monsters or more in a group, among other very low bar expectations. There are some dungeons a SCH can literally AFK a whole run and not do anything, though people that care just dps. if you are fining yourself at a 25+ minute run with you trying, it is likely you are running into DPS that we are talking about. Even if ONE DPS is salvage pushing buttons like a mad woman, it still will be a 20-30 min run if the co dps is what we are talking about. In fact, a few people i know stopped solo queuing as healer for this very reason, meeting 2 bad dps is too much of a risk. For them waiting for queue as they do other things and have a 14-20 min runs is better then 20-30. That is another reason why experienced players can see it so easily. You can say this logic takes place:
"HMMM I WONDER whos fault it is, if i can get in run A, do 14 min run, then run B see a 30 minute run while the blm is only using ice spells. It is very easy to see without a parser."
For your last thing we know that but most people do not put in that effort that you meet randomly using the duty finder.
No idea where Elemental data center is, but shame I do not know anyone there. I def know people that can have a general idea how you are doing without a parser though.