As a healer, is it my job to DPS? A new perspective.

[AmeliaVerves]

Actually, I am not even mad, rather amazed by how bad your reading skills seem to be. I will show you, just for the sake of it.

That anyone burdens other people? [...] truth that amelia kicked someone or pointed out elitist words

Jup. You said I put burden on people [...]

To be honest amelia thats whats known as a parataxic distortion. Because I never said you were a burden.

I don't know how good your english is, but there is a huge difference between putting burden and being a burden. Please decide which one you are talking about and stay with one direction.
At first you asked where you said anyone puts burden on others (to burden someone = to put burden on someone) so I answered you accused me for putting burden on others.
Then you state you never said I am a burden.
Ok, that's right, you never did, because I was not, but what does that have to do with the context?
No idea what you are trying to tell me about the parataxic distortion, because it is totally not. I didn't expect my co-heal to be server 1st on clears, I wanted him to try improving, no matter what the result would have been. He just straight away refused to. If you mean I am reflecting this distortion onto you, I don't really see where I did that, so please explain to me, because I want to know on what you based your thesis.

I wouldnt have kicked him sorry even if he was doing nothing and wanted a carry

Fair enough, you don't need to apologize for anything at all, but please realise it is kind of unfair for you to 'call me out' for wanting a team where each member contributes the same will to put effort. In fact we didn't expected him to have purple numbers on fflogs, but we wanted him to try.
In fact you always say how respectful and understanding you are, but it is not respectful at all to point at someones behaviour you do not support or understand.
Even if it is valid or not, this is something I would consider slightly rude. :/

I think it is nice of you to support other players and to help them clear content. It's a nice thing you do for the community, but you should not put that burden on others to live up to that as well. All of us are different and I am just not as patient as you, as it seems, therefore I wont do the same, please respect that.

disrespectful to the other 7 people

This is exactly what all of us felt, because I asked him politely to try contributing DPS and that he can just start off with putting DoTs.
If he would have been able to contribute not more than 200dps (which is basically DoTs here and there all over the fight) it would have been perfectly fine, because he would have shown the will to play as part of the team.

[Feyona]

Then you state you never said I am a burden.
Ok, that's right, you never did, because I was not, but what does that have to do with the context?


I think it is nice of you to support other players and to help them clear content. It's a nice thing you do for the community, but you should not put that burden on others to live up to that as well. All of us are different and I am just not as patient as you, as it seems, therefore I wont do the same, please respect that.

I do respect that and said so. The way I put it maybe confused but it was saying that I havent called anyone a burden in the context that I was saying it was reflecting about what people have called me . Its very awkward on here with a controlker to precisely put things across the right way. It doesnt matter about it was innappropriate

[AmeliaVerves]

I do respect that and said so.

Thanks, so let us leave that aside by now.

But so far I still would like to know what you referred the parataxic distortion to, because I still can't figure that out. I don't want to pick on you, it's just that I am interested in how my words reached you in a way that you think this applys to me.

The way I put it maybe confused but it was saying that I havent called anyone a burden in the context that I was saying it was reflecting about what people have called me . Its very awkward on here with a controlker to precisely put things across the right way. It doesnt matter about it was innappropriate

I am not native english myself so I find it hard to understand what you are trying to say here. I'm sorry.
Of course I understand that the context of the burden-thingy was not related to my post, but it's more guesswork than actual understanding. ^^'

[Sebazy]

But so far I still would like to know what you referred the parataxic distortion to, because I still can't figure that out. I don't want to pick on you, it's just that I am interested in how my words reached you in a way that you think this applys to me.

It's pretty much a running theme in this thread unfortunately, you aren't the first to be on the receiving end of this behaviour by any stretch.

Here's a good example, maybe it'll help Fey appreciate why so many people are getting tired of this now:

On savage once I was 95% active just healing , not overhealing either. I was told I was a shit player for not dpsing. If you understand what Im saying thats why Im against healers being expected to dps. If they want to its fine, it shouldnt be forced.

Oct 26th activity 86.18% overheal 48.65%
Nov 2nd activity 93.07% overheal 33.87%
Nov 9th activity 58.02% overheal 37.43%

Either you're reading the numbers wrong or you're lying.

Not all my fights are posted. Show me a healer that has 0% overheal. Why are you so pedantic? You seem to dislike anything outside your thinking box. Im not hard core watch the numbers meticulous player. Im just an average player that does their best in the situation Im in. Just because I didnt meticulously, state there was a little overheal it doesnt mean Im a lyer. Please dont bother responding to that with 40% is not a a little. Ive done mnay clears since november, and Im well aware of what the hardcore mentality expectations are.

@Feyona: I've bolded the bits where I object to what's being said for clarity. Get rid of those and frankly, it's a pretty reasonable debate that's hard to fault. As is tho, you just give off the impression that you're trying to project your own failings on other people in an effort to protect the little bubble you live in.

TLDR, As ever, stop being hyper defensive, and stop throwing your toys out of the pram when someone confronts you. You might not like it, but reasonable debate and thoughtful confrontation is a very important part of life.

[AmeliaVerves]

snip

I get what you are trying to say and I totally agree this discussion is running in circles since several pages and I get it's frustrating and I do think Feyona is a bit overly sensitive about people just calling out their oppinions. But I do wonder:

Was that really necassary of you now? ^^'

I mean, we all got, more or less, what Feyona is like and how she handles situations, but you don't need to trigger her even more, you know. :/
For me, I realised she does not answer to very long postings completely, but takes just parts to talk about, that is why I let down parts of the discussion, but focused on the very thing I would like to get an answer to.
It is kind of annoying and it streches conversations, but if it is the only way things might be leading into a slightly productive direction we should try to go that way.

[Feyona]

It's pretty much a running theme in this thread unfortunately, you aren't the first to be on the receiving end of this behaviour by any stretch.

So what is your gripe? People keep quoting me when I say things, some of which are derrogatory like Im lying. So I respond to it , then I get accused of arguing with them, but they are actually arguing with me. Is it because Im direct with my replies like above where Im not meticulous, and pedantic means meticulous btw. Im am pretty direct I dont flower things up so is it my directness you dont like ? What you call hyperdefensive is merely stating the truth or correcting. And if my failings are pointed out I will point out yours too touche. Receiving end of my responses to your barbs? Dont you know by now if you derrogate someone they will respond in kind?

[Wanzer]

So what is your gripe? People keep quoting me when I say things, some of which are derrogatory like Im lying. So I respond to it , then I get accused of arguing with them, but they are actually arguing with me. Is it because Im direct with my replies like above where Im not meticulous, and pedantic means meticulous btw. Im am pretty direct I dont flower things up so is it my directness you dont like ? What you call hyperdefensive is merely stating the truth or correcting. And if my failings are pointed out I will point out yours too touche. Receiving end of my responses to your barbs? Dont you know by now if you derrogate someone they will respond in kind?

^Hmm. Parataxic distortion, you say?

Im am pretty direct I dont flower things up [...] Dont you know by now if you derrogate someone they will respond in kind?

If you can learn something from what you just wrote here, it would fix the whole thread. And all the little conflicts that you made.
Because you are the only person here to have started multiple conflicts based on nothing, or on a word that you can't accept (and often out of context, or misinterpretation). I'm not saying this to attack you again, but... Again... To help... ...

People keep quoting me when I say things, some of which are derrogatory like Im lying.

Take a huge breath. Reread the messages where you think someone said you were a liar, and come back later with a fresh mind. At some point, you should be able to read some words without taking them as an offense. You just need to calm down, and really read what people say.

There is something else that I would like to share with you :

And no need to come back with the following nonsense :

Are you looking in the mirror at the moment wanzer because , not able to accept facts and easily offended that applies to you, only I would add unable to accept the way others say things.

As I said before, I'm not taking part in this thread, but I learned a lot from it. Especially when I'm free to release Cleric Stance in Alex S.
And I'm totally open to get new ideas, and even discuss about them. But... Some people here are better than me to put words on my thoughts. Saying this just in case of "no, YOU should read it". '-'

^It's not a Gif, I promise.

...

Aaw. I know that feeling... :<

[Feyona]

Thanks, so let us leave that aside by now.

Really difficult to explain parataxic distortion here. Basically, its a defence mechanism, based on a distorted evaluation. Is this case its distorted because it was perceived like that, where it wasnt about you at all. Here I would say, from reading posts that people have already put me into a certain frame of reference (from earler significant others) and expect my responses to be derrogatory towards them, which I actually never intended but have been put in that 'box' Therefore anything I say is perceived as being aimed at them as intentional attack or something even when it isnt, but gets distorted in by the expectation from one in that category. So if you perceive me as saying burden that its aimed at you that is parataxic distortion. But being as I noted your not english and I wrote it badly it was innappropriate. Hope that answers your question

[AmeliaVerves]

snip

I am very, deeply sorry. How wrong I was... I just realised, please forgive me.

parataxic distortion

I know what it means and in fact it's not hard to explain. It simply means you have uber expectations/ build up a picture of a person to which this person will never be able to live up to.
You didn't answered where anything I said would be a reason for you to bring up that term at all, but since I already know the answer (Spoiler: I didn't so there is no reason. :x) you don't need to respond to that anymore, thanks.

as I noted your not english

1. Where did you note I am not english? I said so, but you did not until now.
2. lol. My english is way better than yours.

And because I cannot resist:

Saying this though the kind of intolerece I find grieves me a little that this is the state of affairs. Im not sure I really want to play this game any more really, partially because people may only want to play with optimal players and partially because of how my views were treated here. And the sort of negativity within the community towards people that just want to enjoy the game. You can take it how you want, I wont be putting up with it any more. I tried to state a case for healers to be left alone to enjoy healing how they want to but as you see its not a popular idea. If it bothers people so much that healers dont want the stress of healer dps and healers cant be left to it .... Taika is right I should find a better environment to be in

Because one GIF is not enough:

[Feyona]

I know what it means and in fact it's not hard to explain. It simply means you have uber expectations/ build up a picture of a person to which this person will never be able to live up to.

1. Where did you note I am not english? I said so, but you did not until now.
2. lol. My english is way better than yours.

And because I cannot resist:


Because one GIF is not enough:

Respectfully that is is a partial interpretation, it can mean both negative and positive forms of distortion. Plus the difficulty is in interpreting the much deeper meaning of it. Which would be difficult here. Maybe you dont know as much as what you think you do.