\o\ Finding your Sweet Lover (Or Nightmare) /o/

[Hakuro89]

Wow, I'm amazed - I literally am, not even being cynical here. I am well aware I'm no saint either, but I understand that what was meant as a friendly outreach from my side in the end wasnt even welcome. I'll leave it at that - and because I dont have the time to actually quote each and every post of you: please, clean before your own doorstep before making a list of when people responded in a not-super-friendly way to you. You started this thread of with phrases like "Enlighten me with your wisdom, oh FFXIV community" when people did not agree with you and "Let the door hit you".
I see now that even kind words are wasted on you - I was actually willing to engage in a healthy discussion at that point but it seems to me more and more that all you can do is spit into peoples faces. I'll leave you like that, have a good day, sir - and should you ever require some friendly, not topic-related interaction, you're welcome to make an alt on Odin, find me and we can see where that leads us - I actually mean that.

Just leave him, any attempt at rationality is going to fall on deaf ears. If this is how he's going to respond to everyone that speaks to him, he doesn't deserve friends.

[AmeliaVerves]

My opinion in short, just for SE, who might check out the thread to find out about peoples thoughts about this:

I don't think the effort to create such a tool is worth it and I will keep the "whys" short, because they have been mentioned many times before:

• A whole lot of other ways to get in contact with players are already given.
• FCs/Linkshells/Friendlist are there to make and stay in contact with friends.
• Age restrictions? (is an important point when it comes to 'dating' stuff)
• Might be interesting for people doing RP, but those have their tag and Linkshells as well (pretty sure about it, since I don't RP myself).
• If someone is not good with interacting with people, how should such a tool change that?

Of course you can argue against my points, but this is a very personal and therefore limited point of view and just my opinion. I would rather see SE reworking some other parts of the game that are already implemented, but far from good yet (inventory or housing).

In the end, if SE would decide to implement something like this. Fair enough, it will not harm me or the way I play, so I'm fine with it, but I will sure not be sad if it will never happen.



Just a tiny bit of off topic:
I don't know OP and I haven't read everything that was written in here, but I read the very first and last pages and OP seems as if he wants to have proofes given to the statements of others.
Of course there are none (not like: written down there or wherever), but they speak out their experiences and their opinions. Why should anyone "proof" their believes and thoughts?! ._. Confusing...

BTW OP didn't proof his points as true either, so all this drama is really weird. xD

[Vidu]

Just leave him, any attempt at rationality is going to fall on deaf ears. If this is how he's going to respond to everyone that speaks to him, he doesn't deserve friends.

Thank you, that was actually my plan from now on - I can leave this now, knowing that I tried my best to present a number of arguments to prove my point and being a decent human being.
Did I succed all the way through? Probably not, only human after all. But thats not stopping me from ending on a more friendly note here.
Vidu out, dodging any doors that might hit her.

[TiaHariberux3]

Both sides had a terrible behaviour in this thread not just OP tbh.

You may agree or disagree to a system like this thats fine but comments like the quicksand one etc. are just meh (yes I found it funny kinda but still). Yes OP want people to agree with him and even if he didnt liked your argument for some "reason" it doesnt mean you can personal attack him cause of his past posts in the marriage hookup thread etc. You know you all should have just stopped caring/posting instead of making posts that have nothing to do with OP.

So as a person without a partner I dont really care if such a feature gets into the game or not since you dont have to use it at all it wouldnt hurt anyone. The game wouldnt turn suddenly into a dating sim or smth there could be several reasons for people to use such a feature instead of the thread (better view, faster etc.). I bet there is quiet amount of people with social anxiety (lot of ppl who play MMOs have that) who would like such a feature or just a buddy feature whatever but are afraid of posting it here or on the marriage thread. Yes you can find someone randomly ingame but like irl most of the time it doesnt come out of nowhere if you dont intend to make a relationship you most likely will never found one no matter how many times you go outside etc. dating apps/sites are there for a reason and gain more popularity nowadays because it got harder to find said relationships in our society.

Dev resources isnt a valid argument either because there is always stuff that doesnt benefit you or most of the playerbase but still gets into the game.

To OP please learn to accept other opinions no matter how bad or good the arguments might be in the end people wont change their opinion (in rare cases maybe). Even though it shouldnt be a matter in this thread its there for one reason to let YOU find a partner agree or disagree but its the truth. You cant expect spamming on a hookup thread will give u magically a relationship in fact did you ever considered to talk someone on this thread? ingame?

[Ralts]

Why don't you love? (Love me). Tell me baby why don't you love me? When I make me so damn easy to loove. (Oh oh love me, oh love me)

[Alynn]

Some things to consider:

A) what Magic-Mal said about the hempen set thing was clearly an example to base off of, and is in no way out of context if you're trying to make the push for something like this to happen in game.
B) If you want to act like the mature one on this argument, please start by actually taking into consideration what actual feedback people gave you in the beginning. Calling others a "child" or anything with a demeaning connotation to it doesn't work too well.
C) you don't care, but I care. You used the word "hubris" wrong.

Since my opinion wasn't taken as constructive feedback by OP, I will repeat it again here if SE decides to spare a glance at this thread:


A) Something like the marriage thread exists
B) More time could be invested by SE into other projects
C) With something like this and other dating finders(?), it'd be easier to be catphished/catphish
D) If you really wanted to, you can just advertise yourself over Party Finder, even more with cross-server (although there are limitations to this since its only people from the same data center)

Good luck with your future endeavors.

[Gumbercules]

on another note...where is my in game dating sim? >.> I mean we just got the last part of Void ark arc and i bet Ulala's affection levels are just ripe for the "flagging" >.>

[Rinari]

This thread has a lot of messy fighting in it... yuck.

On topic! I'm not very keen on a dedicated matchmaking feature, but perhaps some expansion to the party finder feature allow parties tailored more towards social interaction would be useful. To be fair, I haven't messed with party finder much, so maybe it has some of these features. I could see some advantage in making say... party of 8 for social outing (ie, gather up and hit the Drowning Wench), or party of 2 for 'meet a friend', or party of 2 for 'date'. Maybe... even allow larger parties to form using new temporary channel instead of a standard party... so you could have party of 20 for PARTY! From what I gather can you use it like that with party names, but don't have easily searchable tags for social parties and it's very oriented towards game objectives.

Of course, I'm new and don't know how all the things work yet.

[Cleftobismal]

Based on a lot of findings inside and out of the thread. I'm going to share a more in depth view on a potential buddy system.

Benefits of a Pairing System

We know the mentor system exists and it can provide support for both new and older players exploring unfamiliar content. Yet, the mentor system is literally a pool of ambiguous individuals with separate motives and expertise. It's inconsistent to receive a different mentor; everyone has a different view on what is X that should be done first, and how do we come up with Y to form a Z.

While the first thought would be to add that Mentor as a friend and solely communicate with them. It's not that practical to always have the same log in times, and the chances of that becomes dismal when you're just paired with anybody without prior information of that individual.

There is also a problem of bonding, which is essential in a buddy system. The mentor system is designed to mentor at free will. Which is great that a fellow Sub payee isn't obligated to always be helpful. Yet, more than likely the individual will run into "Sorry I'm raiding with my FC right now! Try talking with someone else!" "Can't! I'm busy trying to craft an item right now. Maybe later." "Sure! But can you wait a few hours? I'm in the middle of something. Thanks!"

That's where a more intricate system comes in. The Buddy System.

Players will be having the option to raise their chances of pairing with an individual that's compatible with their game play by filling out a Drop down box style application. Where everything is pre-set and is based on the selections provided.

Questions such as 'Time zones' 'How active are you?' 'Morning, Evening, Afternoons, Nights' [Can Multi-Select] 'Role Preference' 'Role player' 'Dungeon runner' 'Raid clearer' 'Crafting' 'Of the land Gatherer' 'Mission Hunts' 'Golden Saucer' 'PvP' and yes even 'Eternal Bonding'.


You may argue a Free Company and the Mentor system itself will provide these things.

I agree. They do. But how effective are they? And does it work for everybody? What about everybody else it doesn't work for?


Things to consider about having a buddy system is: Is this significant enough to warrant the attention of the developers? Is this something that will attract a larger pool of players to subscribe to the FFXIV? Will this be a positive boon to the FFXIV community and break down social barriers including the ones that divide the community?


I answer yes. It does. Anxiety plays a big factor in this community.

"Am I good enough to try Raiding?"

"Will I incur losses on our team?"

"I'm a PvE player first and a PvP player second. I wan't to test the waters a bit in PvP but I'm afraid of being chastised in a competitive environment"

There is a phrase called the "Ladder anxiety". It's when a player feels immense pressure or hesitation to hit the play button. Fears, worries, and doubt begin to take over the mind and can result in a player tilting; making sub-optimal plays due to confusion, frustration, and doubt. However studies show an one on one buddy system provides a remarkable fortification against symptoms like Ladder Anxiety.

Take for an example in a school setting during the critical development phases of a child, the district often places a buddy system for a younger child to be paired with an older more experienced child. The youngest will have a very welcoming experience in their first days of school. While the oldest will gain a sense of responsibility. Believe it or not this forms a bond and it can be very tactical in a competitive environment like PvP and Raiding. Communication becomes apparent than ever, and the need to be a lone wolf in the den is ever less.

You may argue that players should be communicating anyways for a successful PvP/Raid, such as setting macros in the chat on what to do. Who to focus, where to go, and what not to do. The problem is, rallying individuals who have little to no trust in you or knowledge about your expertise is at a all time low success rate. Actions speaks more than words; when those solo players see you and your friend performing well, it actually creates an inclination for them to band together to you for the win.


In all playing with someone you know and chat with will create an enjoyable experience in all your endeavors. While a Free Company and Link Shell can provide the same, there are instances where it's not as effective like a buddy system. Don't get me wrong, there are good Free Companies out there that go above and beyond than what's expected. It's just, players tend to divide themselves, especially among in Free Companies or any formed group for that matter. The highly skilled is prioritized while the lesser and still developing are left to fend for themselves or find a good Samaritan who will help them.


There is so much more I would like to talk about, but I am running out of time. Plus this will be a good opportunity to stir the pot a bit. Bringing in all sorts of ideas.

Also I would like to remind everybody:

What I said about anyone's behavior in my posts is not up for debate. Everything I quoted was written not by me. I've clearly expressed I'm not interested in anybody acting like a saint on my topic.



That is all. I'm not responding to anymore posts irrelevant to the point of this thread.

Personal attacks, notes, whatever you may call it are not welcomed here. I will be sending out reports despite the many warnings.


Thank you.


Sources:


The Buddy Sytem
http://www.mmorpg.com/world-of-warcr...0008120/page/1 - Article By: Reza Lackey

Hughes, C., & Carter E.W.(2008). Peer Buddy Programs for Successful Secondary School Inclusion. Paul H. Brookes Publishing Company. http://products.brookespublishing.co...sion-P292.aspx

Dealing With ladder anxiety
https://tempostorm.com/articles/deal...they-handle-it - Article by: Grace Naces (SylvanHunter)

The Buddy System
https://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/pdf/buddy-system.pdf - Centers for Disease Control NOISH Fact Sheet

[Vidu]

(just a suggestion: could you try to make your layout mor appealing/easier to ready? text that in the center like that is lacking a bit of a "flow" and at least I consider it less pleasent to read than just the normal layout)

Let me however try to cover some of your points and try to take a bit of the glimmer away your painting this buddy system in - to get it more back to earth, at least that would be my opinion.

1) Anxiety
I know how hard and unpleasent it is to deal with that, believe me - it took me a long time to get over my own. But here comes the thing: SE or any gaming company isnt supposed to hold your hand through your personal issues :/ Thats something you have to resolve for yourself - everyone whos dealing with social anxiety, maybe even depression is better off getting professional help, there is absoluty no shame in that - rather than have a game company provide you with a friend.
(I will admit that I only glanced over your sources, but they seem to be about actually supporting people with mental disorders or to prevent such - as burn out for example? I feel you're asking to much from a stranger on the internet here - and from a gaming company. I'm sorry, but a mental illness is NOTHING than can and should be treated by playing a video game - I doubt that SEs staff has the proper psychological background to provide such support for people, and well, they dont have to have that...)

2) Your best buddy
You make it sound a bit as if your buddy would be someone who is ALWAYS there for you - at least thats the impression I got out of your "quoted" excuses (I'm crafting/I'm raiding/Maybe later). Maybe I missunderstood your point but for me it sounds a bit as if you're obligated to spend time with your buddy as soon as you both are on - the things you "quoted" (putting that into quotations marks since it arent actual quotes, even though I'm sure we all hear them from time to time) can, as I just mentioned kinda, come from everyone - yes, even your buddy. I'm playing the game with a lot of close friends and even we are saying stuff like that to each other
No system in the world is going to make a person spend time with you, thats something that YOU must achieve, by being a person people want to spend time with.
I'm not saying this to decourage you or to say this is a bad system enterily, I just want to point out that it might not be as golden and easy as you imagine it.

3) Buddy vs. FC/LS
Seeing how even your best friend might be busy with something (or someone!) else, I'd actually argue that FCs and linkshells are a great option to play with like minded people! And even a better one than relying on just ONE friend! You have a group of hopefully like minded people there; I prefer close knitted groups about large FCs where you dont know anyone, having a community/group of friends seems actually better to me than having just that ONE person (who can also say "No, I'm busy" - just because its your buddy wouldnt mean giving up their life, right?)


4) Positive Effect on the game/community

I cant see that as much as you do - I doubt a system like that would be selling point for the game, heck I doubt the mentor system is a selling point for the game - selling points for a game are and should be features of the game as a video game. So there is my first "No" - no, it wont attract more people to the game.
Will it break down barriers? Mmh, cant really see that either - you're going on about the interaction between two people (and two people only) - how is that going to bring down barriers within the community? Within a community that is, from what I hear, among the friendlier ones out there (even if we all might not did the best to prove that within this thread). Maybe I'm just to much part of a community within this game, but I dont see that many barriers - and those that I see are mostly overambitious hardcore people, so its naturally for them to seperate themself a bit (even though I met a lot of friendly ones aswell!)
So no, I cant see how a system thats bringing TWO people together is supposed to tear down barriers in a community that arent even that present to me.

5) Just for newbies?
From your examples it sounds a bit like as if the buddy system is in place to help people getting accoustemd to their new workplace/school - so would it be like a personal mentor-system and only for players below the max-level...?

6) What about your buddy?
The examples you've given and the way you've described this system it looks to me right now as if one person is looking/helping the other one and they arent that much just casual friends on an equal level? Correct me if I'm wrong, please.
THAT sounds "dangerous" - because it sounds as if you want ordinary people in this game take care of someone whos dealing with anxiety/depression/another mental dissorder?
And no, just no to that. Thats way to much to ask of someone who just wants to play a video game - those people are players, underaged maybe even, not voluntary therapists. And as long as the system makes it VERY clear that you can get paired up with such a person... no, wait, even then - thats just wrong. Thats nothing you can ask from someone you met through a matchmaking system in an MMO, I'm really sorry, but thats not fair to the "buddy" - in a company, in a school, people sign up for that. You can and should NOT ask this from people who are just playing a video game.

7) Stalking&Harrassment
You even used this in your opening statment - and I'm not sure if as a real joke or not. But we have to be well aware that this isnt a joke for some people but sad reality - pairing people up with the "promise": "Here is your new best friend, they'll always do stuff with you!" encourages a behavior that is hurtful to the community and the game itself.

Conclusion
I'm under the impression right now you're paiting this system in way to bright colours without looking at the dark sides - specially when you make this about anxiety which is a real problem, one has to be careful. That is NOT a problem that can and should be resolved by a gaming company, its way over their... how do you say that? "authority"? (Sorry, not a native speaker, I hope I get my point across however)

Conciliatory Solution
Do NOT add a special system thats designed to pair people up in the way the OP described - as I explained, the way I understood this system so far its simply not appropriate for a game.

However here a few suggestiongs I could live with:
1) Expand the mentor-system by allowing a mentor and a newbie to form a special "bond". Each mentor will be able to form such bonds with only a limited number of newbies (3?). Give them items that allow them to teleport to each other during the first 30 days of the newbie playing (I think thats already possible if you recruit a friend - it would be expanded to meeting randoms ingame). Note: It would be clear this is a professional relationship. If newbie and mentor feel sympathy for each other - nice, great, you made a friend, but that shouldnt be the main goal of this.
2) Add a board where people can advertise linkshells and FCs, to make it easier to find one that you might want to join. Advertising there is totally optional and only if the leader desires it.
3) I'm a bit on the fence with this, but adding a catogry to the PF thats labled "looking for like minded indivuals to hang out with" (or any name longer than that is fine too ofc) sounds okay-ish...

Still: an official system to help people with anxiety or other mental/health problems doesnt belong in an enviroment that is mainly build around fun.
I've met people with a lot of issues in this game and tried to help as best as I could. Its draining. Its heartbreaking. It can be frustrating. And in the end it isnt and cant be the solution.I dont regret that at all, dont get me wrong - I just know its nothing that you can just put into BF (buddyfinder) because it isnt fair to anyone - not for the buddy, not for the person searching... for no one.

Also... even a random friend (or buddy) you make through a matchmaking system in an online game wont make your anxiety and social problems magically go away - not saying you said that, its just a reminder.