Tanking frustration when others pull

[Aurius]

Its up to the tank to decide the pace of the dungeon, no different from a raid, if the tank dies because of too many mobs it's over, but if a dps dies because he attacked first then he wont get a raise

I agree, to an extent. The whole party decides pace, if dps is slow, trash won't die and you'll burn all of your cds on one pack. If heals can't keep up (either gear or skill) you die and that always sucks. I as the tank am but one limiting catalyst to the equation.