Sometimes tanks will wait for their cool downs before a pull, which is absolutely fine to do. It's better than running into a group of mobs and the healer having to spam cure because he has no cool downs.

Runaway healers are annoying, yes. If you get aggro you should stand still and allow the tank to take the mobs from you.

Some AoE's are situational, a DRG is going to get 3 mobs down much quicker using single target than AoE. Some AoE's are also not worth using the TP compared to just DPSing them down single target.

Nobody is obliged to speak to you, some people are quiet by nature or may have had a bad day. If they're playing well, you shouldn't really be complaining that they don't speak. I agree with asking for tips though, that's a different matter if it's going to affect the party.