Don't tell me what to do!

[SayuriHime]

How do other people handle this situation:

Question: You are in a dungeon and someone starts hounding you about how you are playing your job, not in a constructive way. Also, what do you do as a spectator to the person getting hounded?

Example: I was in a dungeon today and a Ninja was constantly telling the black mage he was playing his job wrong. Being an experienced black mage, I knew what the black mage was doing, and while it wasn't perfect, it wasn't really slowing us down. But every pull, the ninja complained and complained about the black mage. I felt so bad for him. It was awkward for the rest of us. The black mage stayed quiet and pressed on but I just wanted to scream "DONT TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO!" It was annoying me so bad! So, how do other people handle this?

[Everdark]

I usually start asking for detailed instructions (I'm a WHM btw) Then I do exactly what they told me what to do, and laugh uproariously at them when it fails and causes a wipe.

should be noted that before I take this admittedly spiteful route I do ask the party first if they're ok with me doing what the "asshat" in the group is suggesting, but it usually ends with them either shutting up for the rest of the run due to being proved wrong or them leaving. Either way the run goes better afterwards.

[Mags]

Was he being disrespectful with his advice? Unless he was being a jerk with the usual "lol u noob" type comments he was trying to help out someone with advice I guess. Run with randoms, expect random behavior.

[Aldora]

If run in itself is going smoothly, then there is no real reason to complain about it. It might not be in a manner that would please everyone, but all that matters is that the Duty will be completed.

If you see that someone isn't fully utilizing their class or is making mistakes, it’s ok to tell them and how they can improve in a constructive manner. It’s not ok to just call someone out, telling them that they “suck”.

If someone tells me that i’m doing something wrong, i’ll apologize and try to improve unless the situation requires me to do otherwise. For instance, if someone tells me that i’m not DPS’ing as a healer, I’ll tell the person that my focus lies on keeping the party healthy and DPS’ing comes second. I’ll DPS when the situation allows me to. They don’t have to agree with me, but they will have to deal with it nonetheless. They can complain all they want, but it won’t change the outcome.

If i see someone else complaining about someone else’s skills, but the duty is still progressing in a normal fashion, then i’ll tell him/her to simmer down and focus on their own task so that we can clear the Duty rather than bickering about it.

But, i was in a WoD run last night were 2 DPS where literally flying at each others throats during the fight. I wanted to tell them to calm down and focus on their own tasks rather than bickering about mechanics and who was right, but i was too busy healing the party while trying to figure out the battle myself.

However, there are times (when 2 people are fighting amongst themselves) that you can best stay out of it and let them handle it themselves.

[Musashidon]

If you see that someone isn't fully utilizing their class or is making mistakes, it’s ok to tell them and how they can improve in a constructive manner.

no it's not. if they don't ask for your help on how to play don't give it.

you have no right to tell anyone how to play.

[YokeM]

Ruskie said most of it:
She allready said that one too, but for various reasons, I get the opinion that it can´t be said often enough:
If you want someone to listen to you, stop addressing them like they are some NPC. That BARD, DRG, TANK etc. has a name and is much more likely to listen to you if you use it.

[Aldora]

no it's not. if they don't ask for your help on how to play don't give it.

you have no right to tell anyone how to play.

Even if they are not asking for advice, it doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate it when it’s being given to them. There is a big difference between giving friendly advice and forcing a playstyle upon someone. It all depends on when and how you give it. What they do with that advice is totally up to them.

Not everyone is familiar with the class they play or how to handle mechanics. If you are experienced with that specific class or mechanic, is it so wrong to share that experience? Or should we just throw them to into the “pit/abyss” and have them climb out themselves?

That’s not particularly a good way to play as a member of a team, right?

Again, there is a big difference is sharing experience and forcing it on someone.

“If you see this AoE mark, you want to stack on top of each other to split the damage among the people in it.” might seem to be something that could be considered as “forcing something upon another”, but it also contains valuable information about what to expect from a certain mechanic on which you can act once you see it yourself.

It’s a hell of a lot better then saying “No, you’re doing it wrong! Pay attention!”.

[ManweSulimo]

you have no right to tell anyone how to play.

Unfortunately you do by the first amendment. However that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. I would recommend that everyone read some Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People" to feel better equipped to deal with these types of situations no matter which perspective.

[Ashkendor]

Unfortunately you do by the first amendment. However that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. I would recommend that everyone read some Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People" to feel better equipped to deal with these types of situations no matter which perspective.

I won't even get into how your statement is wrong because the point is pretty much completely moot. What I want to know is why you would even bring up the US Constitution on a Japanese game. ._.

Not trying to be rude here (American as well) but there is no place for the American Constitution in an international forum. Some people myself included can view this as short sighted and rude for even mentioning. My apologies if I seem abrupt in the shortness of this post.

Don't use American ideology on international online interactions. Our laws do not apply here.
But I always follow the golden rule and it should be a part of the unofficial rules of the internet.
"if you don't have nothing nice to say..."

She wasn't the first one to mention the First Amendment. She replied to the person I quoted first.

@OP - honestly, when people are picking a fight like that, how exactly I address them is kinda dependent on who I'm with. If I'm in a premade, I'll ask them to knock it off; if they don't, they get vote kicked. If I'm solo queued, I'll generally ask if we can all just chill out and just finish the dungeon. If they don't, I'll initiate a vote kick. At the end of the day, we're all there to do the same thing - finish the duty. Anything that's keeping us from doing that is detrimental. Killing slowly due to a bad rotation still gets the job done. Standing there bickering doesn't get the job done at all. If a player doesn't seem to have a great grasp on their class, you can ask if he/she is willing to take some advice. Offer that advice constructively. Harassing them is inexcusable.

[ManweSulimo]

I won't even get into how your statement is wrong because the point is pretty much completely moot.

Let's review the conversation:

you have no right to tell anyone how to play.

Unfortunately you do by the first amendment.

Hopefully that answers your question as to why it was brought up. Maybe that person isn't in the US so it might not apply to them personally but it certainly applies to a large percentage of the people that play this game and most likely an even larger percentage of the people reading this forum.

You don't need to get into how the statement is wrong because it isn't. And the point isn't moot. Anybody has every right to tell anyone how to play a game. Does that make it a good thing? No. Does that make it welcome to the other person or anyone else in the party? Not necessarily. Might it have a positive impact? Not likely but possibly. I would think it would be a huge waste of the Japanese government's money to prosecute anyone for telling someone else how to play a game.

However my friend, we are all three on the same side in the end anyways. Just because someone has a right to say whatever they want doesn't mean they should. I agree with you that nobody should tell anyone how to play. And I personally use your exact procedure in dealing with the issue