Don't tell me what to do!

[SayuriHime]

How do other people handle this situation:

Question: You are in a dungeon and someone starts hounding you about how you are playing your job, not in a constructive way. Also, what do you do as a spectator to the person getting hounded?

Example: I was in a dungeon today and a Ninja was constantly telling the black mage he was playing his job wrong. Being an experienced black mage, I knew what the black mage was doing, and while it wasn't perfect, it wasn't really slowing us down. But every pull, the ninja complained and complained about the black mage. I felt so bad for him. It was awkward for the rest of us. The black mage stayed quiet and pressed on but I just wanted to scream "DONT TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO!" It was annoying me so bad! So, how do other people handle this?

[Everdark]

I usually start asking for detailed instructions (I'm a WHM btw) Then I do exactly what they told me what to do, and laugh uproariously at them when it fails and causes a wipe.

should be noted that before I take this admittedly spiteful route I do ask the party first if they're ok with me doing what the "asshat" in the group is suggesting, but it usually ends with them either shutting up for the rest of the run due to being proved wrong or them leaving. Either way the run goes better afterwards.

[Mags]

Was he being disrespectful with his advice? Unless he was being a jerk with the usual "lol u noob" type comments he was trying to help out someone with advice I guess. Run with randoms, expect random behavior.

[Aldora]

If run in itself is going smoothly, then there is no real reason to complain about it. It might not be in a manner that would please everyone, but all that matters is that the Duty will be completed.

If you see that someone isn't fully utilizing their class or is making mistakes, it’s ok to tell them and how they can improve in a constructive manner. It’s not ok to just call someone out, telling them that they “suck”.

If someone tells me that i’m doing something wrong, i’ll apologize and try to improve unless the situation requires me to do otherwise. For instance, if someone tells me that i’m not DPS’ing as a healer, I’ll tell the person that my focus lies on keeping the party healthy and DPS’ing comes second. I’ll DPS when the situation allows me to. They don’t have to agree with me, but they will have to deal with it nonetheless. They can complain all they want, but it won’t change the outcome.

If i see someone else complaining about someone else’s skills, but the duty is still progressing in a normal fashion, then i’ll tell him/her to simmer down and focus on their own task so that we can clear the Duty rather than bickering about it.

But, i was in a WoD run last night were 2 DPS where literally flying at each others throats during the fight. I wanted to tell them to calm down and focus on their own tasks rather than bickering about mechanics and who was right, but i was too busy healing the party while trying to figure out the battle myself.

However, there are times (when 2 people are fighting amongst themselves) that you can best stay out of it and let them handle it themselves.

[Dark_Legacy]

Depends on the situation, but in your example I would've just told the ninja to "stop being rude!" or to "knock it off!" and most of the time that's all it takes. A lot of times people treat others like that because no one ever says anything, if someone is doing something that is not right just say something, challenge their behavior and most of the time they stop. Of course this doesn't work all the time and you may get the person to start taking it out on you also, but if this happens as a tank I just stop for a second and open up the party menu and vote dismiss for harassment and the person that you stood up for will always hit yes and in a party of 4 means the asshat is going bye bye. This only if the person is being a jerk though, but if he is giving constructive criticism and is actually trying to help the person out that should always be welcomed.

[Fynlar]

Very situational sort of thing. A lot will depend on factors such as how actually right the person is, how much the other person's perceived blunders are actually holding the group back from winning, and how common/easy the mistake actually is to make.

For instance, if I see a tank regularly using Provoke on something FFXI-style (in other words, on something where he already has hate on it, and not as a pulling tool), I'll often chime in eventually after a while on how it actually works. It's not like I'll be "hounding" them about it though, it's an easy sort of mistake to make. I'll only start getting nasty about it if they get nasty back at me in response. >_>

[Thunda_Cat_SMASH]

"If you've got time to bitch, you've got time to kill. Bein' a douche ain't gonna get this done faster, unless SE adds in a mechanic where we can Inflict 'Misery' on mobs by typing random shit at the mobs."

That having been said though, if I'm running with someone I don't know, and I'm uncertain if they're giving it they're all, then before I start giving out any advice, I'll, first, ask if they're ok with a small tip or advice here or there.

If they say no, I'll bite my tongue and adapt.

[ruskie]

If you personaly know how to do the job the other person is doing you can counter them and leave it at that(i.e. his rotation is OK - could improve with A,B,C but works), if the person is actually insulting towards a person/party vote dismiss: harrasment and depending on the stuff report to GM for harrasment as well(do this if you are the one harrased or if the party is). Also don't immediately replenish ranks just keep going for a bit(a few mins) that prevents them from rejoining in progress instantly.

I have gotten commendations for standing up for people that were being harrased in such a way by countering the arguments and generally keeping a light hearted tone on stuff - it's a game - meant to have fun.


As for helping I will give advice after a while in case I see something really odd(i.e. a blm just spaming bliz spells and nothing else and such). And that will generally be in the form:
"Hey, <playername> a suggestion as <job> you should try using this and this and that as your rotation to improve(this is the basic rotation not the uber raid optimized for each point of dps)"

<Playername> <-- this bit is important they have a name USE it and will not be put on the spot as the job - if someone referes to me as bard do this - I'll depending on mood do it or simply ignore them - if they go by "Asny can you do this" then sure no prob - we are all people and prefer to be refered to by our chosen/given names. True some people have long names and so on but you can always use a shorter logical one or just target them and use <t> in your chat - I guess <2>... would work as well.

I try to make it as friendly, polite and respectful as I can. Often the person will respond in kind with either a sorry, I'm not used to this job/I'm distracted/new to this thing/etc...

Or in very rare cases outright hostility - in which case I'll let it be.

[LalaRu]

PUGs are PUGs, so I don't really care so much, will not argue with the ineducate. /ignore

[Musashidon]

If you see that someone isn't fully utilizing their class or is making mistakes, it’s ok to tell them and how they can improve in a constructive manner.

no it's not. if they don't ask for your help on how to play don't give it.

you have no right to tell anyone how to play.