I got vote kicked for the first time today (or, how do I keep nin from taking aggro?)

[Kotemon]

As a tank Vit and Def are your two main stats for gear. However for pld adding str and determination "materia" onto vit accessories can help as they should be about capped on vit stats. Do all your class quests and job quests every 5 levels.

1. Make sure all your current gear is about 5 levels from your max level. Accessories are an exception between the mid 30s and mid 40's or until electrum is available. Check the stats on the next couple gear sets within 5 levels ahead of yours to see which ones are going to give you better overall stats to your max level. While Heavy sets means less stuff to lug around. I stopped wearing them past steel.

2. Level your Cnj to 34 for Stoneskin. and Mrd to 26 for Foresight, Fracture, Bloodbath and Mercy Stroke. Protect is only for soloing with Chocobo. Cure if you don't have one or if it cant cure yet. In a party your healer has better Stoneskin, Cures and Protect. But you want access to Stone Skin for those moments. Especially in lower levels since Pld can use it early.

3. If you are going to level GLD then you might as well level Mrd as well as they can both use the same armor until you get your JSE.. In your case you really need to do your Pld quests once you get Cnj and Mrd leveled. You'll get your level 50 hands, feet, legs, and head. All can be equipped at lv 45 and will hold you through lv 50 farming. Desynth that body unless your farming it for materia or equip the whole High Mythril set or farm the Atherial version. At 47 you should look into Mosshorn Scale, Tortoiseshell (hq), Sentinel's Cuirass or Aetherial Cobalt Cuirass to carry you until you get your lv 50 JSE body piece.

Keep your weapon up to date. It should be no less than 5 from your level and ilevel. Right now it looks like you speed leveled your char and just started using it. At best it doesn't look like it'll do anything past Haukke Manor. Brayflox's Longstop if your really lucky.

4. Back to gear.. Tank and healers on duty roulette are two decent ways to farm gil. With gear. If you can't farm it and you cant buy it, then craft it. I learned late in the game on FFXI never fall behind or ignore crafting.. Also gathering is a lot easier here than in XI you just need to keep gathering levels just ahead of your Arm, Bsm, Gsm, Leather, Weaver, and cooking. Those should be craft jobs to make all the gear for tanks, Crp if you are using the wooden Aztec swords or wood for Mrd's axe. Farm ventures and always keep your npc on farming crystals or take a chance and have one do 1 hr ventures for a small chance for gear that's over lv 50. You have a lot of work since Gld (47) and Cnj (18) are the only things you put time into. Once you do start crafting craft each item from lv 1 to lv 40, and farm every "???" in your field log. Do the GC supply quests and Leves, and watch this Video on how to HQ craft most items to ~ lv 50. That should get you your lv 50 rings to reduce gear decay by 10 on those jobs. Ask your FC to help if possible. If you're desperate, do combat leves lv 35, then 40, then 45 that'll give you weapons and gear about that level range and occasionally a coffer will give atherial pieces you might use.

Once all that is started, then you can worry about hate control and how to start farming for the i100 ~ i120 gear.