I want to attest that it's not just gear what you should be looking at, as gear doesn't play for you.

That's why the first thing that I do, too, after checking my team and getting buffs is doing a first small pull to gauge what the dps can do. If I see them able to deal with larger pulls, I go for it (even so, if I want to make an insane pull I ask first, as not everyone likes it... unless I go with my FC ).

Also, when some impatient healer or dps keeps asking me to pull more I do the opposite. I know that if the party wipes it will be my fault for pulling more than what we can swallow, so I'm the one that decides the pace. If they don't like it they're welcome to come to the roulette as tanks :P