I don't understand...

[Gormogon]

So is it unrealistic to expect people playing much more optimal by clicking different buttons with the same amount of work so terrible that I deserve to hang myself?

TAKES TWO MORE CLICK. TWO. SERIOUSLY. TWO. I'M NOT EVEN ASKING FOR THUNDER REFRESH.

Clearly my expectation is too high and I'm totally a 100% elitist and entitle to everything.

Yes. I see it happen even in "top player" play. Some have legit excuses others are just lazy or care too much about their preferred rotation to make adjustments to better suit the group. To some it's just 1 button to others it may be 3 to take into consideration.

Yet if they don't do it and you're expecting them to do so and you're getting mad because they don't then it's your fault for not taking into consideration that they wont do it and optimizing around their form of play. You then become entitled and elitists when you start wanting to ban them because they didn't make your day.

Why do you think people expect max dps? Is asking someone to try so and so forcing someone to max dps? So if I, as a tank, start my rotation without using any enmity ability (which is possible as a WAR) and a healer or dps asks me to begin with a rotation that generates threath, I can just blunlty ignore the guy? Or say I rather keep this rotation beause this is how I like it? Sure, it's possible, dps just needs to wait 10ish seconds to attack which isn't all that long right?

Suddenly this is different, because now it's a tank isn't it? If it's dps, who cares right? As long as you get through the dungeon. There is no point in trying stuff in an MMO. Everyone should just play how they want because if you ask someone to do fire I instead of fire III, you instantly brake their casual approach. (this is just an example, I don't play BLM so forgive me)

Now let's get real here please...

They are obsessed with pointless numbers and they let those numbers dictated their attitude and mentality approach to other players.

Which is why I hate parsers.

A bard using songs is more beneficial to the group than one not using songs just so he can try and keep his max dps numbers.
A Warrior who can keep Storm's Eye within his rotation, a Dragoon that can keep up Disembowel, and a Monk that can keep up Dragon Kick are beneficial to the group than one not doing so just to keep his max dps number.
Summoners and Black Mages who have the potential to help the group and mainly the tanks with Eye for an Eye, Apocatastasis, Lethargy, Virus, binds, and battle res.
Paladin's have cover, cure, and stoneskin while healers have ways to help mitigate damage as well as buff and contribute to dps.

It gets bad when those players intentionally hold back on those abilities just because they don't want to give another class a beneficial boost to their DPS so they can try and stay ahead with their numbers just to gloat.