Victimizing yourself and seeking sympathy for your deficiencies and negative attitude will only exacerbate your problems.

I'd advise you to seek help from a fellow White Mage on your gear, play-style, and your overall attitude in a party setting. Be willing to adjust to fulfill the role expected of you as a healer and I guarantee you'll have a better time.


When you consistently encounter a negative response to something you're doing - you're probably doing something very wrong... consistently.