Why is the FF14 Community So Adverse to Banter?

[YumieYumiki]

As long as banter isnt offensive, i never mind about it, regardless of whether I vibe with it or not.

Chat channels are public, people will say things in it, deal with it.

Something that you find stupid may be funny to someone else. Is there a rule somewhere that says that all banter, jokes or otherwise should cater to your specific tastes?

Again, so long as it is not offensive.

[Carighan]

It's also important to keep in mind that FFXIV has multiple compounding effects that will result in many in-theory-banter-capable in particular older players to not actively start it (and it needs someone to start for others to engage in it):

* Console players naturally reduce the pool and neither start nor engage.
* Older players in general might be brain-exhausted after work and will definitely not start, and might not engage. <-- this is where I am, many work days
* Spammy macros and joke strategy boards drown out the type of conversation that'd be cool to have.
* Relentless pace of W2W pulling in dungeons, raids being just bosses with no trashes or slow progression between them naturally prevent banter situations.

I should note however that for me personally, this gets made up with all the banter and actually sometimes deeper talk in both savage reclear PF groups, extreme groups and also north horn CE/tower groups.

[CNitsah]

Sense of humor is cultural, and more often than not, when trying to make some banter with unknown players, it just ends being kinda rude. In other mmo, banter might be part of the community, to the point it feels obvious it's banter. This is not the case in XIV, probably because the game does everything it can so your contact with stranger is VERY limited. There is no general chat, dungeons and trials are busy enough you don't really have any time to communicate with fellow players. Alliance raids are the only content that allow that, because you can take the time to write a few lines between bosses, because, there is 23 other players and you not hitting for for a few seconds won't make any significant differences. Linkshells are mostly joined by knowing someone in already in the linkshell, they locked the chatbox in Crystaline conflict, etc. This game is kinda like reddit, it doesn't have a community, it has dozens of subcommunities that exists in the same space. The only common rule is "don't be a dick".

Once you've realised that, you have your answer. A sense of community with a common position on banters, a kind of collective agreement on what's ok and what's not has to exist for it to be widely shared by the players and for people to go "It was probably harmless banter" even when it's not funny at all. FFXIV doesn't have that because of the choices made by the dev team back in 2013 (maybe earlier, I don't know how it was in 1.0). There are argument to make about the fact this is one of the reason why FFXIV is seen as a very friendly community, because the communication between those sub communities are based on "don't be dick with people you don't know".

[JohnLakeside]

Wouldn't being sensitive to other people being sensitive mean you're no better than them?

That's not what I'm saying it all. I'm lamenting that the FF14 community is so darn quiet compared to other MMORPGs I've played like OSRS and others one I've dabbled in like GW2 and WoW. I wanna see people talking in the world. I suspect now that one of the main reasons is that people take things/themselves too seriously. Maybe part of that is the pervasively participated in and accepted e-dating culture here.

[JohnLakeside]

I find it fascinating to spectate as it's such a strange language! Best spoken to fellow people who know the lingo and come from the same spheres as you, like any foreign language or slang because not every one will understand what you mean. I have to look up things all the time, haha! XD

Best to curate your own company if you cannot adapt when people do not receive it well.

That's one of the reasons why I made this thread. Not that I want to make friends via this thread. I'm not really interested in creating lasting bonds. BUT, I do want to help shift the culture into having a more bro-friendly atmosphere. Hopefully likeminded people who've read this thread also start being the change they want to see.

[Ilisidi]

No thanks, not everything needs be a bro-space.

[Arrius]

That's not what I'm saying it all. I'm lamenting that the FF14 community is so darn quiet compared to other MMORPGs I've played like OSRS and others one I've dabbled in like GW2 and WoW. I wanna see people talking in the world. I suspect now that one of the main reasons is that people take things/themselves too seriously. Maybe part of that is the pervasively participated in and accepted e-dating culture here.

Or maybe it's just the MMO that isn't for such chatting. And it's fine, no?

[Minali]

I admit I'm currently feeling incredibly old because I haven't the foggiest what "sit lol" is even supposed to mean or imply. I've been in the internet for... a while, although not MMOs in particular, and I never heard that term combo. (Obviously I know "sit" as English word and "lol" as, well, lol, but...)

Though tbh considering what else I'm reading from the OP and their things they apparently did in game, I wouldn't want to "banter" with them either. And I love chatting with others in duties (if time allows), linkshells and discords about all sorts of stuff, but this sounds like teenager jokes that stopped being funny after telling them the first few times years ago. Nothing I am "offended" about, or "having my head in my butt" or whatever, it's just immature obnoxious stuff I can't be arsed to engage with. Not really my age range I guess.

I'm sure there are people out there who disagree and would love to spend time with you, but as others already pointed out, in FFXIV this is not really a thing happening in public, that's what Free Companies and Linkshells are for, to connect with people who share the same kind of social and cultural norms, interests and humor. If you are so bored and annoyed about nobody laughing about the specific kind of banter you find funny, maybe join an FC who considers you hilarious. Way more fun for everyone involved when you can joke with likeminded people about your (no longer ex-)girlfriend while letting the rest play their alliance raids or dungeons in peace.

[JohnLakeside]

Sigh...why did the topic have to become about me personally? Whether you think my humor is funny, immature, rude, or whatever else isn't really the point I was trying to discuss.

Can we stay on topic for a second? To the naysayers: doesn't it make you even a little curious why FFXIV is so unusually quiet compared to other MMORPGs?

I'm not claiming every interaction in Old School Runescape is amazing, nor am I saying everyone should enjoy harmless trash talk (though I do think its downright rotten to try to get someone banned for it...). I'm asking why spontaneous interaction between strangers seems so much less common here. Even if you dislike my particular way of breaking the ice, surely the broader difference is worth discussing. That's the discussion I was actually trying to have. Reducing it to “OP has bad tact” doesn't really explain why the social atmosphere between these games feels so different.

Edit: And telling me to just join an FC or find a linkshell completely misses the point. Obviously I can join a dedicated social group if I want regular friends to talk to. I don't because I like being a transient. What I think the game is missing is an atmosphere where you can casually talk to whoever happens to be standing next to you without first needing to establish a friendship or become part of some organized community. One of the things I really like about OSRS is that I can walk up to a Forestry tree or wherever and there are already people chatting, joking, arguing about whatever, etc etc. I don't even have to participate. Just seeing that conversation makes me feel like I'm actually sharing a world with other people.

[Ilisidi]

Maybe because the players prefer privacy instead of random kiddies yo-bro-ing them on the street.