"You pull, you tank" is a bad mentality

[Malthir]

Nope, I'm going to pull everything and I'll even stop eating Adderall so it becomes even more chaotic just for you. Time me out bro, assert your manly tank aura on me and scold me and put me in my place like the serious, upstanding, honorable gentleman you are! Paint my dead body with your masculinity, with the manly masculine pheromones that you release when an ADHD DPS pulls and dies before you can pull the mob and be at the front of all of us womanly and feeble DPS!! Manly justice is served and on this day the masculine tank ego will suffer no slight!

It's clowns like you that make alot of the tanks just run the MSQ dungeons with the NPC's. Enjoy your 30m-1h dungeon queues because you like being obnoxious to others.

If you're actually friendly, no you won't be. Remember that it's a team game, you're not the leader and neither is anybody else.
Cooperation is not only the intent, but the expectation. If you stop to give the party attitude, then of course you're going to be accused. But if you ask nicely and explain with a good enough reason, then there's no problem.
At least, I haven't seen any situation where somebody gets harassed over it that hasn't resulted in whoever began being negative kicked from the group.

In the end, if you're asking the group to slow down so that you explicitly get to pull, you're not being cooperative and you're disrupting the group.
If you're asking the group to slow down because you can't keep up and you want to be part of the fighting, that's different. Everybody deserves to have fun and if somebody disagrees, oh well there's always next time.
And if you want to take your time, see the sights and be the main character without having to interact with other people, there's Duty Support.

While I agree that good team comms is really the best outcome, and if everyone is happy with the dps helping with pulling fine. However, the tank has the final say because ultimately, if you're not the person responsible for dealing with something, you generally shouldn't be the one increasing the work load.

If you took on a job to paint 3 houses and you were prepped for 3 houses, then I ran over and said by the way I've just added another 3 houses that you have to deal with, you'd probably be pretty annoyed right?

As a DPS when you pull over extra mobs when the tank has already started, have you thought for a second, what are the tanks CD's right now. Because the time to kill 3 mobs is essentially the same as 6, we are all poping 1m cooldowns during a 3 mob fight the same as a 6 mob fight, If the fight starts, and you suddenly decide this isn't enough mobs for me, grab 3 more. Well TBN is on cooldown and so is shadow wall, you're dealing with that white damage until you die, or if I'm feeling generous when TBN is back.