OP, it sounds like you are projecting negative reactions from the rest of your party HARD. It's understandable, given your level of anxiety, but definitely something to work actively on. Try to take it at face value when someone says it is OK, and don't assume silence is anger.

Sure, there are some jerks out there, but I find this community is pretty patient and understanding. I've been running roulettes every day for a couple years and can count on one hand the number of times someone has been snarky or rude.

When I first started playing, I also experienced some anxiety when I had to queue for a dungeon, but (a) I learned people are pretty chill, and (b) as you repeat the fights, they'll get easier and easier.

Here are a couple examples, from both sides of the "standing in stupid" problem:

I got one of the lvl 90 trials for trial roulette yesterday, as a healer. Two of the dps spent most of the fight face down on the floor. No one yelled at them. I was a mixture of amused and sympathetic, even though it was making my job hella harder. I've been the one repeatedly on the floor before. I felt for them.

I'm older and spatially challenged, so I really struggle with certain types of mechanics. If I die as healer, it can cause a wipe. Running the newest lvl 90 dungeon about a week ago, I wiped us twice on one boss. I offered to drop so they could replace me, but the group said no, it's ok, bless them. We got it the third time. And now, having run it quite a few more times, I finally have the fight down pretty well. It's all about practice!

Some tips that helped me:
  • Run stuff with your trust/duty support to become familiar with the fights you struggle with. They don't care if you die 8 times to the same mechanic.
  • Go as dps until you're more comfortable. If you die, the band will march on, I promise. It's not the end of the world.
  • Remember: Everyone but serious chads stand in dumb stuff sometimes. It's OK!