I have anxiety running dungeons, why the pressure?

[GumiBee]

When I run dungeons I can get really anxious and worried, especially when I come up against a new hurdle or I have forgotten previous bosses moves.

I always apologize when I make a mistake or die but often it feels like people gets angry behind the keyboard even when they say that it is okay.

I just want to be able to run duty roulette somewhat carefree but I always experience the above it feels like. It makes me wish for an easy or hard mode on top of the normal mode for dungeons

I hate feeling that pressure of having done a miss and died. It makes me worry that my party hates having me in the part. Especially after a long pause and I die to previous bosses. What can I do lose some of that pressure? Is there a system or a setting I can do to make it a little easier for me?

I know that I can do a party finder group, but that can take time and would rather use duty finder since it doesn't mean the pressure won't be there even with PF.

[Iedarus]

I just got lightly scolded for rescuing a tank out of a mechanic because they wanted to greed. Granted dungeons do 0 damage to tanks so I suppose they sort of had a point but it just shows how people will get upset no matter how well you play. Heck I remember in Shb my tank got snippy with me for letting their health drop low even though they never died.

[Rongway]

Have you tried turning off party chat?

[Reinhardt_Azureheim]

I just got lightly scolded for rescuing a tank out of a mechanic because they wanted to greed. Granted dungeons do 0 damage to tanks so I suppose they sort of had a point but it just shows how people will get upset no matter how well you play. Heck I remember in Shb my tank got snippy with me for letting their health drop low even though they never died.

...dungeon tanks from what I notice in reading from posts seem to be almost anime-like or World of Warcraft "HOLD THE LINE! KEEP THE HEALTH UP!" raidlead like. Like damn, they get mad for having their HP drop a bit in a dungeon?

For me dropping down to like 20% is a common thing where I play^^ I honestly feel sorry for you having such experiences, hope you get nicer tanks.

[LalafellDown]

You should stop thinking about your needs and wants and think about the party. Maybe they want you to fail so you can get over the fear of failure?

[NoctusT]

I can definitely feel you on the anxiety bit. Are you fine running the dungeons at the usual pace or do you feel they're too fast for you?
If the latter, simply saying "hi, im new to _____ if we can take it a bit slow i'd appreciate it" usually works. Majority of the players in the game shouldn't grief you about it.

If the former --- I usually suffer from something very similar but in case of PF. But obviously DF is different. I'd recommend running things with FC mates if any are available. If they're your friends/ friendly to you let them know what's going on. If youre not feeling confident just saying that you're new can help.

Other than that I'd recommend reading guides on your class and/ or practicing your rotation on a dummy. Hover over your skills and just see what they do. I've found that the more knowledge I have about how my class works and interacts with others, the more confident I feel in new instances. If you're still a CNJ as it says on your profile, saying that you're a new player will let people know what's up.

Most importantly be patient with yourself. Experienced players still make stupid mistakes in basic dungeons. it happens to all of us. To be frank if someone fucks up in a dungeon I go, 'ugh' and move on with my life. I dont remember the names of the people I did the dungeon with 3 secs after we kill the last boss.

Please remember that you're not alone in fucking up. 99% of the players in this game, including me, are monkeys who have like, 3 braincells to rub together.

Finally - Anxiety is a bitch so I hope that you have someone you can talk to about it when things get tough. Mental health is very important so please take care of yourself.

[Rayne6665]

Dont blame yourself! Everyone makes mistakes. People told me think of other 3 players as an npc. I still have tankxiety running dungeons so thats why i run it with friends or Trusts NPC (thats what i did throughout the entire endwalker expansion). For alliance raid wise, i was super nervous running as a tank but the more i do it, the more i felt better cus other 2 tanks take over and one boss for each alliance. I have yet to try tanking on the new alliance raid but im still observing other tanks what they do while im a dps. Im not confident tanking it yet youre not alone!

[Jojoya]

When I run dungeons I can get really anxious and worried, especially when I come up against a new hurdle or I have forgotten previous bosses moves.

I always apologize when I make a mistake or die but often it feels like people gets angry behind the keyboard even when they say that it is okay.

I just want to be able to run duty roulette somewhat carefree but I always experience the above it feels like. It makes me wish for an easy or hard mode on top of the normal mode for dungeons

I hate feeling that pressure of having done a miss and died. It makes me worry that my party hates having me in the part. Especially after a long pause and I die to previous bosses. What can I do lose some of that pressure? Is there a system or a setting I can do to make it a little easier for me?

I know that I can do a party finder group, but that can take time and would rather use duty finder since it doesn't mean the pressure won't be there even with PF.

It sounds like you might be suffering from social anxiety though you'd have to talk to a licensed therapist to be certain. But I know those feelings well.

The main thing to remember is that when others tell you it's okay if you made a mistake, it truly is okay with them. Most of us can remember our first few times going through dungeons and making mistakes. It can take time to learn and even once we have learned, we'll still make mistakes on occasion. While there are those who are less than patient in the community, most of it is understanding.

Joining a FC or finding friends who are playing online at the same time and like to queue for content together can be a big help. It's easier to relax when playing with others who already know you.

For MSQ dungeons, you always have the option of using Duty Support. Many like to use it their first couple of times doing the dungeon so they can learn the mechanics without feeling like they're being judged. Once they've learned them, they're more comfortable queueing in Duty Finder to do them with other players.

[Mosselyn]

OP, it sounds like you are projecting negative reactions from the rest of your party HARD. It's understandable, given your level of anxiety, but definitely something to work actively on. Try to take it at face value when someone says it is OK, and don't assume silence is anger.

Sure, there are some jerks out there, but I find this community is pretty patient and understanding. I've been running roulettes every day for a couple years and can count on one hand the number of times someone has been snarky or rude.

When I first started playing, I also experienced some anxiety when I had to queue for a dungeon, but (a) I learned people are pretty chill, and (b) as you repeat the fights, they'll get easier and easier.

Here are a couple examples, from both sides of the "standing in stupid" problem:

I got one of the lvl 90 trials for trial roulette yesterday, as a healer. Two of the dps spent most of the fight face down on the floor. No one yelled at them. I was a mixture of amused and sympathetic, even though it was making my job hella harder. I've been the one repeatedly on the floor before. I felt for them.

I'm older and spatially challenged, so I really struggle with certain types of mechanics. If I die as healer, it can cause a wipe. Running the newest lvl 90 dungeon about a week ago, I wiped us twice on one boss. I offered to drop so they could replace me, but the group said no, it's ok, bless them. We got it the third time. And now, having run it quite a few more times, I finally have the fight down pretty well. It's all about practice!

Some tips that helped me:

• Run stuff with your trust/duty support to become familiar with the fights you struggle with. They don't care if you die 8 times to the same mechanic.
• Go as dps until you're more comfortable. If you die, the band will march on, I promise. It's not the end of the world.
• Remember: Everyone but serious chads stand in dumb stuff sometimes. It's OK!

[Frizze]

Remember: Everyone but serious chads stand in dumb stuff sometimes. It's OK!

Correction. Everyone EVEN serious chads stand in dumb stuff sometimes. You can be excellent at sight-reading mechanics and still wind up on the wrong side of a tell. You can know a fight perfectly and still move into or out of a danger zone a half second early/late and get snap-shotted. You can spend months learning one of the hardest fights in the game(dying hundreds and hundreds of times because someone stood in the wrong place) then go into an easy duty and derp about whether the attack youre about to be hit by goes on your left or the bosses left. So again, EVERYONE stands in the dumb stuff sometimes. It's still OK. Just keep trying, and eventually you should get it just fine.