Quote Originally Posted by ty_taurus View Post
So I'd like to know, whether in an overview or a more detailed explanation, what you would do with WHM if you had a genie wish and could do literally anything you wanted to it.
Oh, come to think of it. I have a genie wish, but it's not exactly related to WHM. I'd want to create a brand new healer job. Not sure what I'd name it, maybe Pure Healer. It'd have maybe 2-4 GCD heals to cover single target and AOE. A Medica 2 equivalent for those who like regens. A Succor-like equivalent with a damage reduction for the mitigation aspect. The job gauge is called the Sanctimony meter. See, the job would have no damage buttons. Just a passive (or actively refreshed, I'm not picky) +50% damage buff to all party members. Instead it would have a spell that replaces all single-target and AOE damage abilities from healers with a GCD called "Don't be hyperbolic I'm not just pressing ONE button. There are several in this kit". It would be a unique ability, impossible to bind to the 1 key specifically so that when people accuse this healer of pressing 111111111 they can easily say "Nuh uh, don't be ridiculous. This spell is bound to 2."

What the spell would do is provide a variety of randomized favorite catchphrases (fully voice acted!), like one of those Chatty Cathy dolls with the pull string on the back. A non-exhaustive list includes:
  • I chose a HEALer to HEAL
  • I'm on this job because I know what REAL healing is. All the others are just fake DPS mains besmirching the name of REAL healing.
  • All of you are elitist tryhards obsessed with numbers. I actually play this game to have fun. You don't know what REAL fun is.
  • I'm focused on HEALing. My cohealer is a parse-obsessed DPS wolf in healer's clothing. I'm doing all of the REAL work.
  • Redditors and statistics agree that simpler classes are more popular. That means I'm more enlightened than the rest of you.
  • All of you think runs are perfect! You don't know what a REAL HEALER does when someone gets a vulnerability stack. I'm the one saving our runs here. Me.
  • If you don't hear anything in the next few seconds you should know it's because I'm HEALing. You know, like a HEALER should. Pay attention to how a REAL healer plays.
  • I'M playing the most powerful and useful healer. My cohealer is holding you back with their fake non-healing tryhard elitist DPS main nonsense. I'm the one REALLY contributing here.

When the Sanctimony gauge hits 10 stacks, it automatically deducts 50% of all party members' remaining HP and doubles the damage buff aura to +100% for 15 seconds. The HP deduction gives the Pure Healer more opportunities to increase their HPS contribution. The damage buff they provide is strong enough that they'd be limited to one per party unless running unrestricted.

I think it would make a lot of people happy. It'd be designated as the most powerful healer. It'd provide a job that doesn't do anything but heal. We horrible numbers-obsessed elitist optimizers would have to concede that it provides the strongest benefit and we only refuse to play it due to preference. Plus it allows anyone who plays it to constantly tell everyone around them that they're better, exalted creatures more enlightened than the people who don't like simplistic jobs and it's even tied to a job gauge! I know the randomized catchphrases would draw some flack, maybe a future update could put them on optional separate buttons.

Then we can have the dream: the Five Healer Model. The Pure Healer can be the absolute best one numbers-wise. The rest of us will have to brainstorm ideas for ruining the other four jobs with like, engagement and choices and too many buttons. Horrible, I know. But I'm willing to give it a shot.