I'll try to articulate my feelings as best I can: A small percentage of every fandom inevitably reminds me of this old tweet...
@SamSykesSwears
Stages of a Toxic Fandom:
1. I love this
2. I own this
3. I control this
4. I can't control this
5. I hate this
6. I must destroy this
...and they tend to have more free time and passion to engage in that behavior (and more conviction it's worth it to do so), than I will ever have. For better and worse, the popularity of FINAL FANTASY XIV is so high that said percentage is quite a lot of people in raw numbers. Several spaces where FFXIV discussion takes place have had their vibe (for lack of a more concise word) annihilated by small-but-loud trends somewhere in the ballpark of "my opinions are facts, the story is bad if it doesn't cater to my preferences, and I don't care if I ruin experience of others who are trying to enjoy talking about it".
This game is for millions of people. It's going to let you down and frustrate you sometimes, because if it catered to just your personality it wouldn't be a game for millions of people. The devs sometimes makes choices that frustrate me, too, but I can usually see why those choices were made. I can understand that there will be people who love it, too, and that day just wasn't my day to share in the preferences catered to. Often I'd argue that the game is better for more people by choosing to let me down that day, and I learn to love what I had a negative reaction to at first in a different way.
But I play, analyze, and talk about this game for fun. I pay a subscription fee for the privilege of having fun.
Being inundated by toxicity and vitriol isn't fun.
And that's the question I've been made to grapple with when it came to engaging this space, which I used to be a multiple-times-per-day occurrence that I valued dearly:
Why am I participating in an activity for the sole purpose of having fun and not having fun? Why am I investing my time and energy into something that makes me miserable?