Excuse me, sir, I'm a dragoon, not a summoner or black mage or scholar or white mage. There's a certain amount of pride you feel when you're hanging with or above the "meta" as a melee.
That said, I agree that FFXIV is not really designed for PVP. The tickrate and queuing system, first of all, makes it difficult to react to what you see when everything is so fast-paced. And the UI doesn't help you understand what's happening, much less what killed you, because of numbers and names flying everywhere. Thus it's easy to assume there's nothing you could have done and the mode is completely and utterly busted.
Though it's a tough pill to swallow, you either learn to play under the conditions or you underperform. The infrastructure itself will likely never be "fixed" (it's working exactly as intended even though it's not ideal and taps into some core issues that affects even PVE and has been around for a decade) and the UI likely won't change anytime soon, especially not in a way designed for PVP.