New white mage - but I may give it up after being verbally attacked by toxic players

[Risvertasashi]

Sorry you went through that. While the suggestions to record self and improve and all that are good, I feel like it's worth mentioning...

Even if you play completely perfectly, this is part of the healer experience. Sometimes I can show someone a death report that breaks down exactly what they did wrong by each fraction of a second, and I still get cussed out. The best you can do is try to surround yourself with people that aren't toxic for preformed-party content, but sometimes in DF content it still just happens, unfortunately.

[IckeDerTyp]

What kind of raid was it? Something old? If people complained about ya in those..., use the 'eff' word - mentally and leave it behind ^^

If it was some endgame stuff, try harder! :3

Spamming heals is never a good thing, albeit sometimes needed, tho that's just me talking about undergeared wall to wall pulls in a few dungeons

Definetly not the norm!

Then again, I don't raid 'cept roulette stuff. Advice is, read what people wrote here and find out if you're playing the best you can, which you should always aim for imho!

Don't give up and goodluck Adventuring ^^

[MellowMink]

You should be outputting damage as well, not only healing, and you also don't need to constantly heal when someone only gets a papercut. More damage toward the enemy also means less battle time, which in turn means less overall healing needed.

That said, someone harassing you (not providing gameplay advice in a friendly manner) isn't acceptable behavior and can be reported within the game if it makes you really uncomfortable; I've used that report feature before for unnecessary attacks, and the moderators are often good at responding, sometimes asking follow-up questions too. I'm sorry that you had a negative experience, and I hope that things improve going forward.

[Saefinn]

Whilst it sounds like there is room for improvement, but of course, I think that is a given considering your title says "new white mage", so that says you're earlier on in your learning curve, which is fine because you've got to start somewhere.

Annoyingly some people get into that mindset of you're either "good" or "bad", fortunately it's a minority. But they may rarely take it into consideration somebody might be new and inexperienced and being called "bad" can be demoralising as a new healer.

I would say throw aside anything that isn't constructive and learn from your experiences too. Sadly it's unavoidable in any online game even if this one tends to be better than a lot of others.

I'd say not give up on it, because there are aspects to healing that are rewarding and why people end up being healers.

However, to answer your question, "do we live with it?" the answer is 'yes', because even at an experienced level there's people make comments like that but at an experienced level I guess it's easier to laugh about it than to feel self conscious about it.

Heck even at an experienced level we make mistakes and people die. And a part of the healing learning curve is people dying. But carrying the philosophy of "mistakes happen, it's what you do about it that counts" I feel is always a good one to go by, you can learn from mistakes and become a stronger healer and it's that experience that can be pretty rewarding because you start to see how you're capable of bringing parties from the brink of death when they're the ones making mistakes.

[Karthunk]

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?
And yet most players are great and most runs are great but every so often you get these really toxic characters. Do we live with it?
Any other healers feeling this pain?

If you have multiple DPS taking damage when they shouldn't then that is on them. Give them a medical II and let natural selection take over. Your job is not to be in panic mode an entire raid to keep a few terrible DPS players alive. Chances are if they can't stay out of the glowy circles and lines they aren't doing much DPS.

As far as dungeons go... If you can't handle large pulls chances are you are undergeared. Gear makes a massive difference in your healing.

[Drkdays]

Things I'll say when someone dies when I'm healing:

"I figured I'd try turning you off and on to see if you work better."
"I'm practicing my clutch healing. Ty for volunteering your body."
"Don't stand in that."
"Well, now you know how tough you are.Yw."
"You aren't more important than my ham sandwich."
"Oops."
"Actually, the HEALER sets the pace."

[Brandedblade]

Honestly, a bad tank changes little to nothing in this game, at least not that you can do anything about at least. I've done dungeons with tanks that had less HP than me, it was still absolutely fine with the caveat being that I did my best to ensure stuff died in a timely manner. In harder content? If the tank isn't doing their job it's probably just going to cause them to die or force a raid wipe depending on the content. Meh.

I'm so glad you're so amazing at this game. But I was trying be nice to the newer player and let him know that yes, things happen that aren't always his fault. If the other players aren't doing their best then that puts more strain on others to compensate, at some point the straw will break the camels back. Is he playing perfectly? No, ofc he isn't, I even advised him to look up some healing guides to see what he's doing wrong.

[Sebazy]

I'm so glad you're so amazing at this game. But I was trying be nice to the newer player and let him know that yes, things happen that aren't always his fault. If the other players aren't doing their best then that puts more strain on others to compensate, at some point the straw will break the camels back. Is he playing perfectly? No, ofc he isn't, I even advised him to look up some healing guides to see what he's doing wrong.

If you think you need to be amazing at any point in dungeons then well, that just reflects on you TBH.

There's three main differences here:

I've analysed my own runs enough to understand that most dungeons simply aren't threatening to the tank. Right now, there are only two pulls I will be apprehensive on. The first pulls in Bardams and Akadaemia Anyder. Outside of that, there just isn't any need to care. Regen > Asylum > Benison and start holying away, maybe burn a lily if it'll get me a Misery whilst the pack is still up. With Regen up a tank pretty much needs to AFK in a pack of ground markers to have any risk of dieing. Why panic when there's just no need to? That's your cue to congratulate my amazing play of the game btw.

Secondly, peoples mistakes are on them. Don't get me wrong, if I can save someone from the bad I absolutely will. I don't play this game to watch people die and step over their corpses. But if they are eating the bad repeatedly to the extent where I have to chose between letting them or the tank die. They will die and I will shed precisely 0 tears over it. They made the mistakes, not me. I will do what I can. If that's not enough, so be it. In all the years I've played this game, I've had exactly one DPS go off on me. And ironically it was because I was getting killed by the collar on Baelsar's wall. Again, there was nothing more I could do in that situation. No sleep was lost that day.

Thirdly, players in this game have an almost comical aversion to death. It's genuinely both intriguing and borderline comical. I've seen people handle their deaths better in full Everquest 1 Plane of Hate/Fear raid wipes that ended up needing a second raid to recover the bodies. Meanwhile in FFXIV, there is basically no meaningful death penalty for a wipe in a dungeon. Stuff doesn't respawn. Items don't get lost. Corpses don't need to be recovered. Yet some people absolutely flip off the rails over it. I remember at the launch of SB, I got caught napping when I started spamming Bardam's on SCH. I was busy slurping my coffee and didn't realise I didn't have aetherflow or a pet until the barrier dropped and the tank sprinted off. I didn't quite have enough in my pocket to keep the tank up and wound up with a stray add on my back as well. It was a dumb wipe and I'll happily take the blame for it as I should have had an extra 3 aetherflow charges and been closer to the tank if I wasn't dozing at the start. Lesson learned on my part but amusingly the tank flipped their wig over it and refused to budge from the start. So myself and the DPS just carried on clearing without them.

Making mistakes and dieing is only a bad thing if you are too pigheaded to learn from it. I've died plenty in this game (Sorry to disappoint on the amazing front sir).

Rather than whine or blame game, I look back at the shadowplay and even if it wasn't my fault, I'll see if I can adapt and improve to prevent it happening again. Can't run shadowplay? Run a private passworded stream to somewhere like twitch or YouTubetv. I used to use a private hitbox.tv account when I was doing progression raid so the other FC healers would also watch and help analyse or suggest things. There's a multitude of easy ways to really improve ones play if one is willing to actually make the effort to do so. Unfortunately many simply aren't.

[Loonies]

Mostly of the dungeons i heal only, not enough time to do dps, specially wall by wall pull. First time in these dungeons and with the bosses there is plenty to note, so to survive is my first goal for me and my team members. It might be different in the endgame with good equip, i will see then. But for leveling dungeons i dont care about my dps, enough fun while healing.

[Kolaina]

and spamming medica 2

That’s all I needed to know. That’s a really bad habit to do as whm. Not everyone needs regents and heals all the time. Full hp? Don’t need heal. Nearly full hp? Prolly don’t need a heal and definitely not medica 2. Learn how to whm. Maybe they weren’t being toxic and just being critical. How else would you of known you aren’t good at it