New white mage - but I may give it up after being verbally attacked by toxic players

[KageTokage]

Healing probably has the highest level of decision-making involved out of any role.

Ideally, it should just be "Is anyone in immediate danger of being killed by unavoidable damage? If not, then DPS", but if you're working with a group of random people who are more prone to getting hit by avoidable damage, it's prudent to just top them off immediately instead of using Medica II or other regens as you'll probably lose more raid DPS if one of them messes up and dies then you would from spending an extra GCD or two on healing.

You may also have to just largely give up on DPSing if you're working with one of those tanks who doesn't know how to mitigate damage properly and/or is extremely undergeared.

I feel being flexible based on the skill level of the players you're working with is part of being a good healer...unless you're doing harder content with pre-formed groups, in which case you shouldn't be having to pick up the slack of others.

[Lastelli]

Healing probably has the highest level of decision-making involved out of any role.

That might be true for Ex+ content, but normal content? Nah. The only right decision is to keep spamming glare/malefic/broil while using the occasional oGCD heal. Unless you're running dungeons undergeared with wall to wall pulls, in that case you might also need a few single target heals on the tank, but that's really it.

[KageTokage]

You will probably have to adjust more if you get one of the hyper cursed groups that's a combo of an undergeared tank doing big pulls plus DPS that don't know how to AoE.

Thankfully, that doesn't happen too often, though my worst experiences tend to be with Bardarm's Mettle or Doma Castle as you run into those newbie GNBs who haven't upgraded their starting gear at all.

[SpiralMask]

sucks to hear that OP, just ignore any haters--if you're keeping them off the floor, you're doing fine.