Marriage Partner Hookup Megathread!

[Thinslayer]

You just met 'em. Who cares?

He cares. Valuable time that SILVERx could have spent playing the game and having fun was instead spent waiting for someone who would never return. For working adults, that time is often short and precious. Research has shown that it takes about 20 minutes for the body to register changes to its stomach volume, so if I were him, I'd allocate up to ~20 minutes to wait for someone who's gone to get food. That's a substantial chunk of time to waste. Even without marriage considerations on the table, it's still a rude way to treat someone. If we include marriage considerations, that kind of disregard for people's time is often a red flag that would turn people off to the match.

That being said, SILVERx, publicly shaming the individual for a personal offense isn't fair or kind. If on the off-chance they had a valid reason for ghosting (e.g., tyrant parents found them out, you were creepy, life got in the way, etc.), they'll be outcast over something that wasn't their fault. So consider instead resolving your concerns with her privately before bringing them to a public forum. You could even give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she had a good reason for ghosting, unlikely though that is nowadays.

So, I guess what I'm saying is: @Katie_Kitty, have some empathy for SILVERx, and @SILVERx, give SinisterGold the benefit of the doubt, or resolve your concerns privately with her. I'm not seeing any useful benefit to be gained in arguing the matter publicly.

[SILVERx]

So, I guess what I'm saying is: @Katie_Kitty, have some empathy for SILVERx, and @SILVERx, give SinisterGold the benefit of the doubt, or resolve your concerns privately with her. I'm not seeing any useful benefit to be gained in arguing the matter publicly.

Thank you for that. And I would do as such, but seeing as how they chose to remove me from contacting them on Discord, I’s say that’s out of the question. Also, this isn’t the only time this is happening. I tell them what I’m looking for, which isn’t much to ask for, and they agree as if they’re of the same mind. But in the end, they disappear; especially after showing up in MY Discord to ask for my time and then come back here as if nothing happened. So yes, by default and as a public warning, I’ll call them out. Looking for a friend to RP and spend time with should not be this difficult. If you don’t agree with someone’s options, then say so. Don’t falsely commit and then do a U-turn without explanation. I’m trying to be nice and open to everyone, yet this is what happens.

[Wavaryen]

He cares. Valuable time that SILVERx could have spent playing the game and having fun was instead spent waiting for someone who would never return. For working adults, that time is often short and precious. Research has shown that it takes about 20 minutes for the body to register changes to its stomach volume, so if I were him, I'd allocate up to ~20 minutes to wait for someone who's gone to get food. That's a substantial chunk of time to waste. Even without marriage considerations on the table, it's still a rude way to treat someone. If we include marriage considerations, that kind of disregard for people's time is often a red flag that would turn people off to the match.

That being said, SILVERx, publicly shaming the individual for a personal offense isn't fair or kind. If on the off-chance they had a valid reason for ghosting (e.g., tyrant parents found them out, you were creepy, life got in the way, etc.), they'll be outcast over something that wasn't their fault. So consider instead resolving your concerns with her privately before bringing them to a public forum. You could even give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she had a good reason for ghosting, unlikely though that is nowadays.

So, I guess what I'm saying is: @Katie_Kitty, have some empathy for SILVERx, and @SILVERx, give SinisterGold the benefit of the doubt, or resolve your concerns privately with her. I'm not seeing any useful benefit to be gained in arguing the matter publicly.

Video games are a waste of time, So I don't really agree with the whole time wasting thing to be upset about.

It is a good lesson though for everyone to see. Match Making, hookup, dating whatever. It is not a marriage, and some people just can't handle putting people down easily. I'm not saying anyone is at fault...but some people go into stuff like this with heart on the line and it is easily hurt. The person clearly did not like him, and that is fine. They was not brave enough to turn him down, that could be because she had to deal with unstable guys before. Could be many reasons why she picked to do it like this. It is hard, but being understanding and just moving on is the best thing to do.

[Thinslayer]

Video games are a waste of time, So I don't really agree with the whole time wasting thing to be upset about.

Dem's fightin' words, boi! xD But I get what you're saying. Video games are a leisure medium with benefits we can't easily measure - and as such, discussions on the value of time spent playing video games are of dubious benefit.

[SILVERx]

Video games are a waste of time, So I don't really agree with the whole time wasting thing to be upset about.
The person clearly did not like him, and that is fine. They was not brave enough to turn him down, that could be because she had to deal with unstable guys before. Could be many reasons why she picked to do it like this. It is hard, but being understanding and just moving on is the best thing to do.

Yet at the same time he is still in the wrong for leading this on and ditching. Also, not right to assume every person is going to react bad to saying “no”. I’m not reacting well to people just up and leaving; saying one thing to be my friend and potential partner, and then doing the complete opposite, while keeping me waiting for them to show up. So yes, I’ll be frustrated if this kept happening over and over, which it has. Do they do this to everyone? I’ll think as such if this is the thing someone needs to do when I have nothing but good intentions.

[Wavaryen]

Yet at the same time he is still in the wrong for leading this on and ditching. Also, not right to assume every person is going to react bad to saying “no”. I’m not reacting well to people just up and leaving; saying one thing to be my friend and potential partner, and then doing the complete opposite, while keeping me waiting for them to show up. So yes, I’ll be frustrated if this kept happening over and over, which it has. Do they do this to everyone? I’ll think as such if this is the thing someone needs to do when I have nothing but good intentions.

That is understandable. And I wish everyone was brave enough to turn someone down. I just wonder what happen to them that cause them to do things like this, or if they just don't want to deal with the issue. Either way, I am totally understanding how you feel. The only thing you can do is harden your heart for the next time so that it does not irk you as bad.