[GM Feedback]

[Awha]

Question.. When your server at a restaurant does their job correctly and to expectations, do you just... ignore them? I understand this is a less personal interaction but thanking people for doing their jobs correctly is something I was taught was courteous and well mannered. Not only that but positive feedback IS helpful. It's important to know when your employees are doing their job badly, but it's also important to know when the customers are being satisfied.

Personally I just let my tip speak for their performance. Sure if someone goes beyond their duties I will go out my way to thank them and show my appreciation.

Though I also did not come from a house hold where positive reinforcement / feedback was a thing. I was raised around you did what was expected of you. Do your chores without being told, do well in school etc . . . Had a job you did it to the best of your ability no matter what and no matter if you did not like the person or task.

So generally getting a Thank you for doing what amounts to what should be expected is a foreign concept to me.

[Chie_M]

So generally getting a Thank you for doing what amounts to what should be expected is a foreign concept to me.

"Please" and "thank you" are common courtesies that most children are taught from a young age.

[VelKallor]

"Please" and "thank you" are common courtesies that most children are taught from a young age.

Or they used to be.

Seems like common courtesy and kindness are on the way out..which is sad.

Simple human kindness to others is not much to ask. Example, i just had pizza delivered, I made sure to give them a smile and a warm thank you. We dont need to tip here, he was just,. as you say, "doing his job", yet it costs nothing for a "thank you sir, have a great night".

“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.”

[Awha]

"Please" and "thank you" are common courtesies that most children are taught from a young age.

Sure saying thank you for the person holding open the door, or to the cashier helping you bag at the super market. I get because at the very least here they are not supposed to bag for you. As examples, providing a thank you for doing a kind or helpful act I get.

Just the idea of thanking someone for doing their job well as they are supposed to eludes me. I was just raised differently, I still do not get it but thanks for the explanations. See in this context it makes sense cause no one had to even take the time to provide an explanation. That is how / when I was taught one should say thank you.

[VelKallor]

Just the idea of thanking someone for doing their job well as they are supposed to eludes me

Answer:

A basic act of kindness, good manners to others costs nothing. Treat others as you would expect to be treated, treat others with respect and dignity.

Its that simple.

[Jijifli]

Sure saying thank you for the person holding open the door, or to the cashier helping you bag at the super market. I get because at the very least here they are not supposed to bag for you. As examples, providing a thank you for doing a kind or helpful act I get.

Just the idea of thanking someone for doing their job well as they are supposed to eludes me. I was just raised differently, I still do not get it but thanks for the explanations. See in this context it makes sense cause no one had to even take the time to provide an explanation. That is how / when I was taught one should say thank you.

Think of it like this, it might help a bit.

When you give positive feedback to someone for doing something, they are more likely to promote that kind of behavior, and also improves their mood.

Yes, if someone is doing their job like they are meant to, that's expected, but that doesn't mean we can't also appreciate that they're doing it right and promote a good feeling towards it. Not only could that help keep it continuing, but in some cases that person might be hiding behind a poor experience they recently had, and getting that positive response might be what they need.

I work in retail myself, and I've had my fair share of customers that have given me very negative response for me just doing my job, and they'd probably make me wanna quit out if it wasn't for the ones that are very kind to me, and appreciate me. Just last weekend I had 2 interactions that stuck out to me, one with a customer who yelled at me because our fitting rooms are closed which I couldn't control, and another who was super happy to see me working in my section while trying to talk with her and see if she needs any help. If it wasn't for the second customer who already helped boost my mood, the other customer could have set me quite off.

I hope that helps a little bit.

[Awha]

Think of it like this, it might help a bit.

When you give positive feedback to someone for doing something, they are more likely to promote that kind of behavior, and also improves their mood.

Yes, if someone is doing their job like they are meant to, that's expected, but that doesn't mean we can't also appreciate that they're doing it right and promote a good feeling towards it. Not only could that help keep it continuing, but in some cases that person might be hiding behind a poor experience they recently had, and getting that positive response might be what they need.

I work in retail myself, and I've had my fair share of customers that have given me very negative response for me just doing my job, and they'd probably make me wanna quit out if it wasn't for the ones that are very kind to me, and appreciate me. Just last weekend I had 2 interactions that stuck out to me, one with a customer who yelled at me because our fitting rooms are closed which I couldn't control, and another who was super happy to see me working in my section while trying to talk with her and see if she needs any help. If it wasn't for the second customer who already helped boost my mood, the other customer could have set me quite off.

I hope that helps a little bit.

Positive feedback is not something I understand cause I did not grow up with it. I come from a service family, so we have expectations and duties that had to be done no questions asked. In essences you were not rewarded for doing what you were supposed to do.

Though I will say this, I have never worked in retail, but I have seen how people treat those that do and I disagree with much of the treatment. Especially during this time of COVID, it is not the fault of the staff that things operate a certain way. In the same boat I also do not get how some people let the negative experiences with one person bleed over into the encounter with another.

Though I do get the idea behind it I think, it may be akin to receiving an unexpected gift it does tend to lift the spirits. Though this harkens back to my old man, he worked in the medical field after he left the service. He told me a story about how a person thanked them, and he told them no need for thanks. When the person asked why, he mentioned you are only thanking me cause I gave you good news, if I had bad news you would not be thanking me.

I get GM interaction and medical interactions differ greatly. Guess I was just raised extremely differently. Though I do have a better understanding as to why it may make one feel good or brighter up their day. I will remember this for the future. Thanks

[Chie_M]

Positive feedback is not something I understand cause I did not grow up with it. I come from a service family, so we have expectations and duties that had to be done no questions asked. In essences you were not rewarded for doing what you were supposed to do.

Though I will say this, I have never worked in retail, but I have seen how people treat those that do and I disagree with much of the treatment. Especially during this time of COVID, it is not the fault of the staff that things operate a certain way. In the same boat I also do not get how some people let the negative experiences with one person bleed over into the encounter with another.

Though I do get the idea behind it I think, it may be akin to receiving an unexpected gift it does tend to lift the spirits. Though this harkens back to my old man, he worked in the medical field after he left the service. He told me a story about how a person thanked them, and he told them no need for thanks. When the person asked why, he mentioned you are only thanking me cause I gave you good news, if I had bad news you would not be thanking me.

I get GM interaction and medical interactions differ greatly. Guess I was just raised extremely differently. Though I do have a better understanding as to why it may make one feel good or brighter up their day. I will remember this for the future. Thanks

I think I get where you're coming from now, and I'm sorry for being snarky in my initial response.

I think there's definitely cultural and generational differences that are always going to be at play with this sort of thing. Here in Australia, while we don't tip, saying "thank you" is the expected, conventional and polite thing to do. When the server clears your table, a quick "thanks" (just one person, it's not a schoolroom chorus). When the cashier hands you your receipt, a quick "thanks". When you don't want help from the employee walking the floor, "no thanks".

Over here, it's not a bum pat and it's not seen as positive reinforcement for going above and beyond, or even for a job well done: it's just considered a social convention. It's the cultural norm, and it's seen as rude not to do it because it's as natural as saying hello.

[linayar]

Just the idea of thanking someone for doing their job well as they are supposed to eludes me.

Saying thanks is a sign of appreciation.

Just because you expect them to do their job, doesn't mean they will. So when you see someone doing their job, you appreciate them. If everybody does their job, you wouldn't appreciate them because you can trust that your expectation will be met. But you cannot do that in the real world, so when someone lives up to your expectation, you give thanks to them.

It's why there are several holidays in certain parts of the world to give our appreciations of people doing their "jobs."

Father's/Mother's Days celebrate parents raising and parenting their kids well.
Veterans/Memorial Days celebrate soldiers doing what is expected of their job, even if it means going to war, even if it means dying in that war.
Even wedding anniversaries are celebrations of people meeting the expectations of keeping their wedding vows.

[Awha]

Saying thanks is a sign of appreciation.

Just because you expect them to do their job, doesn't mean they will. So when you see someone doing their job, you appreciate them. If everybody does their job, you wouldn't appreciate them because you can trust that your expectation will be met. But you cannot do that in the real world, so when someone lives up to your expectation, you give thanks to them.

It's why there are several holidays in certain parts of the world to give our appreciations of people doing their "jobs."

Father's/Mother's Days celebrate parents raising and parenting their kids well.
Veterans/Memorial Days celebrate soldiers doing what is expected of their job, even if it means going to war, even if it means dying in that war.
Even wedding anniversaries are celebrations of people meeting the expectations of keeping their wedding vows.

To be fair my family does not do much of those things either. A birthday is just another day, as an example. As mentioned in the other posts it eludes me I get the idea behind it in theory but I still do not understand it and doubt I ever will.
I do not expect much from people per-se. Though I also will not thank someone for doing what they are meant to do. Just like I do not want or expect thanks for doing what I was meant to do.

In the I figured this is just the byproduct of how I was raised where you just did what was expected, you what you said you would, do not break promises etc . . .

Though I guess your point is probably why my family has such views. Doing the bare minimum should not be a surprise.