Someone probably already mentioned this but why tell the tank to dial it back, you learn nothing from quitting to early. If I were the healer I would have told him to try again as well

The healer technically determines the pace since they have to keep the tank alive previously aggro management pointed to the tank being lead but that’s not a thing anymore.

I always encourage new tanks to push pass what they think they can do because eventually that new person will want to try harder content and with this dial back attitude they will not be a successful tank....also I heal, tank and dps so there isn’t a told I don’t know