Entitled people kick from FC harassing after??

[AngelCheese77]

aren't you jumping into conclusions now? claiming his FC members is scared of him without any proof?do you have screenshots of his FC members saying that they are scared of him?
if what you claimed is right so without proof we cant deny his claims either,do you have any proof that the event in question is made up? that he did it to get attention?
so maybe we need to take your words with a grain of salt as well ^^.

the point is that your claim can go either way, your claim about his post being false also need to be backed up by facts and while he can't nor should provide proof of the events to us,he decided to share what happened with us all ,believe in it or not.

he could be lying and could not but if he posted this ,the fact is it can be true(which most likely is and i hardly believe he posted it for trolling) and if people want to share similar experiences and opinions we are free to do so.
the thing is this isn't court ,it doesn't need to prove his claims here unless people actually claim this isn't how it went and most of all the people he need to prove the events are the GMs not us.

I expect people to take things I say with a grain of salt as well, but now you're also not making much of an argument and just turning the words I said back on myself.

Coming to a public forum to say someone did this or that and expecting strangers to believe them ... well, yes, in my world, you need proof. You show me that it happened,and I will make my own conclusions. Because so far, all I see are people auto nodding their heads in agreement. We call this Herd Mentality.

And so far, I have been sharing my experiences, but it seems I've been villified with my first post. /shrugs Whatever.

So you think this was about getting attention?? I'll be brief No, it wasn't about attention.

Screenshots of the chat or pictures and names of players here is against TOS, if it was posted and not allowed on the forums. From what I've read.

How does that ring alarms bells?? You're only assuming the worse, the reason why they never want to say anything is because they don't want to, and its not even because of a reason. If people don't speak or want to start up a conversation, because they don't want to, then is that determined as them as being afraid?? It does not. You clearly don't know me or how my FC members are. Thank you very much.

You stated in your above post that they had a reason:

And on a Note: I always say to my FC members, "If there is a concern or if someone upsets you, then please let me know", its only until the incident happen when them bad mouthing me and only then did they decide to tell me how they felt about them and its regarding issues before the incident even occurred, why?? Because they don't want to look like the bully so they kept quiet instead. They didn't want to tell me how they felt, I had to literally ask them how they felt.

(my bolded emphasis)

Let me tell you why this is bad.

In EQ2 I had a character. At the time my mother was dying of cancer. I was inadvertently projecting my sadness into the game, but people of my guild refused to bring it up to me, only speaking to the officers. This went on for 6 MONTHS. 6 MONTHS of people talking about me behind my back, instead of talking to me in private and saying something. Know how I found out? When I became and officer myself and was privvy to the Officer forums. Reading posts on people actually hating me, wishing I was gone, and even worst stuff I can't put here.

So yes. Having guild members keep quiet on something is bad. It hurts, especially if it could have been something stopped ahead of time. From the words you wrote, it was either something that had been going on a while that others have seen, but didn't want to bring up as to not "be a bully" or just happened that one time. I don't know.

Yakoo, don't let the gaslighting get to you. Like, legit this didn't need to come into the forums but you did fine otherwise.

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs."

Please learn the definition and what the proper use of gaslighting is. All I see here is people DISCUSSING something that was made on a public forum, not going through the ProJared/Heidi debacle.

These players were talking trash behind your back (about you), they got caught on stream (they should have been smarter), you gave them a warning, then in their PoV after said warning you arbitrarily ban them. Even if after deliberation you and other FC members collectively think kicking is the right outcome, you had already given these players a warning. This means, your warnings, or your given word, is worth nothing.

The learning experience should be given to you. Keep to your word, or think about actually deliberating with the FC before giving it.

Call me old fashioned, but the bolded statment is my so true in my book.

The first point is already the approach that I take, and I will always try to get evidence and information from both sides and despite how much I do in this respect, I'm still capable of making the wrong decision as we all are. I also heavily encourage my members to get logs where the can, because logs are great evidence, you can get the context, exactly what was said and you can look at it without bias, though with voice, that's hard. But we'll do our best to make the right decision, but they're not always black and white.

But yes, I think if I were to fault the OP for anything is making a verdict too soon, that I agree with. But I don't think it means you're being a terrible leader for doing so, aren't a tyrant or any of those bad things people have said, but human instead.

Funny how people see my discussions are calling them a bad FC leader. I don't remember ever saying that. Yes, I might be against their decisions and the outcomes, but we are human. We learn and grow. And sometimes that means taking criticism.

However, the focus for criticism seems very much be on the fact they changed their decision. But if you make the wrong decision first time around, you still have to deal with it and I am curious for those who're criticising the change of decision (and who wouldn't have a problem if the original verdict was a ban) what they would do differently if they perceived something could kick off before they have the chance to intervene and stop it. Putting themselves in the shoes where they have made the wrong decision first time around.

If I found myself in a position where I had made the mistake of offering the wrong decision in the first place. If the wrong thing to do is to change my verdict and I carry a viable and strong concern that the people in question would cause a big problem when my back is turned and on my return there's the risk that I have a bigger situation to deal with that's wholly unfair on the rest of the FC. People who have done nothing worthy my respect and if anything, acted to lose any respect I might have had. What would be the right way to handle it? Bearing in mind, it's not just me and the offenders who're affected but my FC members too.

Mistakes are made and you learn. I get that. But I guess people aren't seeing what I'm seeing in this discussion.

I work with facts and stuff in front of me. But the story the OP gave just doesn't sit right. I guess, overall, what bothers me is the given warning, then when all seemed cool as if the people were given a second chance ... the choice then was made later to kick them. Maybe I'm a soft-hearted b**ch who has to talk with people and explain things. I dunno. /shrug

Bad eggs in an FC shouldn't be there. I agree. Been there done that. Until that small piece of info about the OP's FC rules are known to me, I think I'll always have that small doubt in my mind.

Overall I think I have given my side on things, so this will be my last post on this. Don't think I can give anything else as not wanting to repeat myself.