Entitled people kick from FC harassing after??

[AngelCheese77]

Had to hop on my pc to respond to this. Darn mobiles.

Again, AngelCheese, you're completely ignoring the fact that the offenders here were being complete jerkwads by talking constant crap behind Yakoo and their FC's back, and then, when they got correctly removed for their disrespectful behavior, proceeded to harass the FC and its members after the fact. It does not matter if they feel like they weren't given a fair shake. I said it before: Sh*tty people do not get to play with the rest of the kids if they cannot play nice. You have continually, almost willfully ignored these facts, pushing this idiotic idea that Yakoo is supposed to let anything slide after making a decision, regardless of if it's shown that decision is insufficient for both them and their peers in the FC.

Bottom line: IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO NOT BE A SH*TTY PERSON, AND IF SOMEONE IS UNABLE TO DO EVEN THAT, THEY DON'T GET TO ACT UPSET WHEN PEOPLE DON'T WANT THEM AROUND. That is literally what this entire situation boils down to. Try to gleam what you want from this in order to keep up this "unfairness" narrative you're in love with, I'm done after this.

First off, hun, take a deep breath. This situation seems to be really upsetting you, so I'm assuming you are friends with the OP or you might have some situation you are projecting here.

In no way did I ever say that what the expulsed FCs did was right or justified. Can you point that out to me in my posts?

I'm not in "love" with anything, but it seems like those replying dont want to take a step back and see things from a different angle. And that's fine. Many people are unflexible in their beliefs and ideas. All I am trying to accomplish and state is that human emotions were involved in all this, and things could have turned out better.

And yes, I stand behind what I said that the OP should not have taken this to a public forum, either in their FC chat or Discord, or here ... because OMG not everyone will agree with what they did. It's life. It's the internet.

No one is defending them. Harassing the fc after being kicked is absolutely wrong and just proves their point about them being assholes. But as a FC leader if you give a warning stick by your decision or your decisions as a leader will mean less than nothing. If you give someone a warning you can’t then turn around and kick them anyway because “they could do it to other members” that is the point of a warning! If they do it to other members then you kick them!

If you’re gonna kick them then kick them, if you give them a warning then stand by it. Don’t decide to kick them then change your mind and talk to them and give them a warning then change your mind again and kick them.

Again, no one is defending the people being kicked, just pointing out that it’s not good as a fc leader to be wishy washy on your decisions or it will lead to drama like this.

Self fulfilling prophecy, you put them in a situation where they’re going to be assholes then say “see? They were assholes.”

Back to Kalin’s example of a D&D game, it’s like you took them aside and said “don’t be assholes or I’ll ask you to leave” (giving them a CHANCE) then walk back to the table and before they have a CHANCE to do anything, saying “so I’m gonna have to ask you to leave”.

Regardless of if that decision is right or wrong do you think that choice won’t lead to drama?. If you’d given them their chance and they blew it you’d have every right to say “right get out” And they’d have no leg to stand on.

Thank you. This is what I was also trying to say as well.

When you as the FC leader make a decision, you stick by it. If the decision was changed, even if you the FC leader changed it, those you are going to punish are going to want to know why the original decision was changed. If not, well ... see what became of it?

Edit: They also complained when people die when raiding, but when they too die no one says anything, this to me counts as toxicity. What I do is I say "Its ok, we can try again".

You ... I'm sorry .. what? You think it's toxic when people complain when someone dies? Maybe those who DON'T say anything when the offenders die is because they have a bit more control or find it's not a big deal?

Goodness. People complain about everything and anything in a game. Saying "OMG U Died U SUxxORz" is not grounds for dismissal or being called toxic. Continuing it with harassment and slurs etc is.

I'm a bit struggling to see the reason why this was brought to the forum though?

Like, what happens in a FC is handled by the FC, and if there is a behaviour crossing some lines, you want to report / get GM involved.
But coming here to tell your story is an open door to an "internet trial", which is never a good thing for anyone involved.
(no harm intended in my post, just genuinely intrigued)

QFT. Keep private matters in FCs private. Or when you come to a public forum, you're going to get people who dont agree with you ... which honestly .. I am starting to feel that is what the OP wanted. Venting or not.

i believe he might have had a few reasons to do it:

2.maybe gain a different perspective and see if he might have been wrong or see how other people have treated certain cases.(even after writing that conclusion)
3.serve as a warning to those who act out that way in his guild ,current and future people and might even attract people to join his FC if they saw his actions as just and see a warm and toxic free FC enviorment.

but again its just my theories and the OP can shed some light for us about it ^^.

If that's the case, then the OP should not be surprised or get upset that people will disagree with them. Because so far, #2 and #3 as not looking good on the OP or their FC as a whole.

And yes. Yes I do believe people can get second chances. If they show the willingness to repent. In this case, the offending parties deleted the evidence of their wrongdoing without being prompted to. To me, that's not want of forgiveness, that's "sorry I got caught". And that STILL doesn't absolve them of punishment. If these assholes are truly were repentant, why not take their warranted punishment on the chin instead of beginning a harassment campaign? And before you ask, no, a warning is not a punishment; it is being told "don't do it again". It's kicking the can down the road, whether or not that is enough to stop any bad behavior.

This is why I call you an enabler, you enabler. You want them to get off scot-free for openly insulting Yakoo and their FC, openly disrespecting them to the public, being openly toxic behind the FC's back. No. The world doesn't work like that. You don't get to talk constant sh*t about your boss, your DM, your friends, whatever, and live without consequence for doing so. Again, and I say this emphatically:

Grow. The f*ck. Up

Oh hun, you are a second away from being reported on the forums. Tsk tsk. Your comments are becoming really targeted attacks.

What makes me laugh is you think just because a person removed something from a social media outlet, they think they are "sorry I got caught" mentality? People do it for many reasons. Since you know, NONE OF US were there to see the conversation that was had, for all we know the OP could be making it all up and asked the expulsed members to remove the vid once everyone agreed about the warning and all was cool. But you know ... name calling and cursing is your way to do speak to people I guess. LOL and you demand US to grow up.

Then I pose a question, as one who always seeks to improve how they manage an FC.

If you found an FC member doing something they shouldn't be doing and gave them a warning. Then later after having time to process, maybe speaking to other members you see that if left to their devices there's a situation that could escalate in a bad way to harm the peace of the FC.

What would you do?

My concern in this situation and I have been in similar ones, is what if I leave them only with a warning and I come back to find all hell has broken loose and there's a bigger and messier situation that's happened when I've not been around to deal with it?

Because the latter has happened to me on more than one occasion where I look back and think "I was too soft or too leniant". By which point its too late, a s***storm has already happened that could have been avoided.

I'll answer this as I have run an FC before and been an officer.

I would not have auto jumped to a warning right away and gathered evidence from members of my FC PRIVATELY. Not go into the FC chat. Not make it public on Discord. in tells.

We had this issue where there was an actual officer in the FC who was sexually harassing a member. The problem is, there was enough evidence but the FC leader (not me at the time) was friends with that officer being accused. When it was brought up publically, so many things were denied and faked, that the FC leader didn't believe it. But when things were talked about PRIVATELY, it came to light what was going on, and that officer stepped down and eventually left.

But yet in your own question, and the OP posting, we don't know how much time has been inbetween the warning and kick. One day? One hour? One week? Who knows? We weren't there.

Also, if you have rules, you stick to them. If you made a rule that it's three warnings then you're kicked, stick with it. But since we have no way to see the OPs rules, we don't have any knowledge how they run their FC.

And humans will always look back on situations and think "I could have done this" or "I should have done that". Well, shoulda woulda coulda won't help alas. What's done is done. That is why I suggest and try to follow my own rules of taking time to gather information and come to a conclusion, not a knee jerk reaction. That way, I have little second guessing what I did (hopefully).

[Harmonea]

As I read OP, I started to wonder where the thread was going. Perhaps OP was going to ask if anyone else had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it, or what kind of evidence was needed to get GMs to issue enough warnings or temp bans to get the behavior to stop.

But no, I get to the end and OP only posted this to throw the word "biased" around like it's going out of style before yelling at a bunch of Internet strangers about how FCs don't owe their members anything and how if you get kicked you should leave Brittany alone.

Suddenly I find myself sympathizing with the other side of the story, if this is what they dealt with. No wonder they felt the need to blow off some steam. Shame they did it in public.

[Sated]

All I am trying to accomplish and state is that human emotions were involved in all this,

I sure hope so; it was an exchange between humans. I'd be far more concerned if they were more invested in adhering to a restrictive set of rules that made their FC uncomfortable than actually taking action when they're able to.

The message I'm getting from your posts is largely "the appearance of doing the right thing is more important than actually doing the right thing" and that's like... I don't get it, I'm sorry.

If the rules require they keep a toxic person around that the group isn't comfortable with then the rules are wrong. But like you said, we don't know if this FC even has rules - it sounds like they're more casual. It's important to keep in mind that not all groups operate with the same standards, goals, or rules that the ones you've managed do... many don't even have any, it's just a group of friends sharing human emotions together.

[AngelCheese77]

The message I'm getting from your posts is largely "the appearance of doing the right thing is more important than actually doing the right thing" and that's like... I don't get it, I'm sorry.

If the rules require they keep a toxic person around that the group isn't comfortable with then the rules are wrong. But like you said, we don't know if this FC even has rules - it sounds like they're more casual. It's important to keep in mind that not all groups operate with the same standards, goals, or rules that the ones you've managed do... many don't even have any, it's just a group of friends sharing human emotions together.

I can see that what I say is a bit like that. I've always been brought up with first impressions mean everything, and that making rules are meant to adhere to them. Maybe I'm more specific than most, but hey just my opinion. Overall, I do wish the OPs FC the best and they don't run into something like that again.

[Yakoo]

Goodness. People complain about everything and anything in a game. Saying "OMG U Died U SUxxORz" is not grounds for dismissal or being called toxic. Continuing it with harassment and slurs etc is.

If that's the case, then the OP should not be surprised or get upset that people will disagree with them. Because so far, #2 and #3 as not looking good on the OP or their FC as a whole.

Since you know, NONE OF US were there to see the conversation that was had, for all we know the OP could be making it all up and asked the expulsed members to remove the vid once everyone agreed about the warning and all was cool.

Exactly "I have more control", when someone dies we just try again, we don't start saying "u suck" just because people they die. So you say when people complain and start finger pointing and telling them "they suck" is not a slur and being rude about it?? Very ironic of you. I will tell you something, once there use to be someone who was like that I was friend's in game with, every time we did content together and someone died to something, they would be quick tell them "why do you suck so much" and out right publicly shamed them for it. I quickly got annoyed and told them "You shouldn't say stuff like that, its not a nice thing to do, because people may not be as good with the game as you are, so why you need to act like that?", so got sick of it quick and told them "We can't be friends if you are going to be like that", then I just dropped them and blacklisted them.

U asked about points #2 and #3. Here is what I said:
2. Yes, Wanted to see how other people handled it and if it was any different to what I did and treated it different.
3. No, I am not advertising anything at all. I want this to serve as a warning to others who wants to act as like the people I kicked out, to not join any FC's, if they want to cause such disruption with an FC. I am not here to promote anything.

You say that I may be making it up, why would I make this up for exactly?? Coming from what I've experience I just shared it. You honestly think I would ask them to remove the video?? I confronted them, they removed it themselves! I wouldn't be wasting my time making up stories either, I would be using the time I have to do something more better FYI.

And on a Note: I always say to my FC members, "If there is a concern or if someone upsets you, then please let me know", its only until the incident happen when them bad mouthing me and only then did they decide to tell me how they felt about them and its regarding issues before the incident even occurred, why?? Because they don't want to look like the bully so they kept quiet instead. They didn't want to tell me how they felt, I had to literally ask them how they felt.

[Yakoo]

As I read OP, I started to wonder where the thread was going. Perhaps OP was going to ask if anyone else had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it, or what kind of evidence was needed to get GMs to issue enough warnings or temp bans to get the behavior to stop.

But no, I get to the end and OP only posted this to throw the word "biased" around like it's going out of style before yelling at a bunch of Internet strangers about how FCs don't owe their members anything and how if you get kicked you should leave Brittany alone.

Suddenly I find myself sympathizing with the other side of the story, if this is what they dealt with. No wonder they felt the need to blow off some steam. Shame they did it in public.

Some have already shared the similar experience they had, If you even read all the posts you would be quick to notice them, but you didn't. They even shared it without me asking. You also didn't read my other points, you just jumped and said whatever you wanted to say. Oh, and I did say I've reported them to the GM's, so don't get me started on that.

Again you didn't read. I said "Don't join an FC and feel self entitled as if the FC, owes you something when they owe you nothing". So don't try to twist things around. Shame they harrassed me and my FC in public, really?? Even if it was private it would still be harassment either way.

[AngelCheese77]

Exactly "I have more control", when someone dies we just try again, we don't start saying "u suck" just because people they die. So you say when people complain and start finger pointing and telling them "they suck" is not a slur and being rude about it?? Very ironic of you. I will tell you something, once there use to be someone who was like that I was friend's in game with, every time we did content together and someone died to something, they would be quick tell them "why do you suck so much" and out right publicly shamed them for it. I quickly got annoyed and told them "You shouldn't say stuff like that, its not a nice thing to do, because people may not be as good with the game as you are, so why you need to act like that?", so got sick of it quick and told them "We can't be friends if you are going to be like that", then I just dropped them and blacklisted them.

U asked about points #2 and #3. Here is what I said:
2. Yes, Wanted to see how other people handled it and if it was any different to what I did and treated it different.
3. No, I am not advertising anything at all. I want this to serve as a warning to others who wants to act as like the people I kicked out, to not join any FC's, if they want to cause such disruption with an FC. I am not here to promote anything.

You say that I may be making it up, why would I make this up for exactly?? Coming from what I've experience I just shared it. You honestly think I would ask them to remove the video?? I confronted them, they removed it themselves! I wouldn't be wasting my time making up stories either, I would be using the time I have to do something more better FYI.

Then we agree to disagree. Thick skin and all that.

As for why you would make this up? Attention? Who knows. We weren't there. We didn't see what was going on. You don't seem to understand that when you put things on a public forum, things will get questioned unless there is proof. And proof is all on you. And honestly, I haven't seen anything .. no screenshots or the like. So yes, I take everything with a grain of salt, as we all should unless we were right there during the incident and all conversations.

And on a Note: I always say to my FC members, "If there is a concern or if someone upsets you, then please let me know", its only until the incident happen when them bad mouthing me and only then did they decide to tell me how they felt about them and its regarding issues before the incident even occurred, why?? Because they don't want to look like the bully so they kept quiet instead. They didn't want to tell me how they felt, I had to literally ask them how they felt.

This rings alarm bells for me. If your own members don't feel they can tell you about something, that means they are afraid of you as an FC leader. And I mean if all of them didn't say anything. Because if this was done in private, not public, and you kept it anonymous (which you don't seem to do by your own admission putting the kicking on your own Discord) then yes, I wouldn't want to say anything. You say you want your FC to be tight knit and close, and no drama, so either it's gone so far that your members are afraid of speaking up so as to not stir the proverbial pot, or they didn't see it as such until you called it out in a public area.

Maybe take some time to sit back and reflect on the steps that led up to it, and why the members of your FC would not say anything until that very moment. Becuase it can't ALL be those kicked player's doing. Gotta take some responsibility.

[CrimsonGunner]

Then we agree to disagree. Thick skin and all that.

As for why you would make this up? Attention? Who knows. We weren't there. We didn't see what was going on. You don't seem to understand that when you put things on a public forum, things will get questioned unless there is proof. And proof is all on you. And honestly, I haven't seen anything .. no screenshots or the like. So yes, I take everything with a grain of salt, as we all should unless we were right there during the incident and all conversations.



This rings alarm bells for me. If your own members don't feel they can tell you about something, that means they are afraid of you as an FC leader. And I mean if all of them didn't say anything. Because if this was done in private, not public, and you kept it anonymous (which you don't seem to do by your own admission putting the kicking on your own Discord) then yes, I wouldn't want to say anything. You say you want your FC to be tight knit and close, and no drama, so either it's gone so far that your members are afraid of speaking up so as to not stir the proverbial pot, or they didn't see it as such until you called it out in a public area.

Maybe take some time to sit back and reflect on the steps that led up to it, and why the members of your FC would not say anything until that very moment. Becuase it can't ALL be those kicked player's doing. Gotta take some responsibility.

aren't you jumping into conclusions now? claiming his FC members is scared of him without any proof?do you have screenshots of his FC members saying that they are scared of him?
if what you claimed is right so without proof we cant deny his claims either,do you have any proof that the event in question is made up? that he did it to get attention?
so maybe we need to take your words with a grain of salt as well ^^.

the point is that your claim can go either way, your claim about his post being false also need to be backed up by facts and while he can't nor should provide proof of the events to us,he decided to share what happened with us all ,believe in it or not.

he could be lying and could not but if he posted this ,the fact is it can be true(which most likely is and i hardly believe he posted it for trolling) and if people want to share similar experiences and opinions we are free to do so.
the thing is this isn't court ,it doesn't need to prove his claims here unless people actually claim this isn't how it went and most of all the people he need to prove the events are the GMs not us.

[Yakoo]

Then we agree to disagree. Thick skin and all that.

As for why you would make this up? Attention? Who knows. We weren't there. We didn't see what was going on. You don't seem to understand that when you put things on a public forum, things will get questioned unless there is proof. And proof is all on you. And honestly, I haven't seen anything .. no screenshots or the like. So yes, I take everything with a grain of salt, as we all should unless we were right there during the incident and all conversations.



This rings alarm bells for me. If your own members don't feel they can tell you about something, that means they are afraid of you as an FC leader. And I mean if all of them didn't say anything. Because if this was done in private, not public, and you kept it anonymous (which you don't seem to do by your own admission putting the kicking on your own Discord) then yes, I wouldn't want to say anything. You say you want your FC to be tight knit and close, and no drama, so either it's gone so far that your members are afraid of speaking up so as to not stir the proverbial pot, or they didn't see it as such until you called it out in a public area.

Maybe take some time to sit back and reflect on the steps that led up to it, and why the members of your FC would not say anything until that very moment. Becuase it can't ALL be those kicked player's doing. Gotta take some responsibility.

So you think this was about getting attention?? I'll be brief No, it wasn't about attention.

Screenshots of the chat or pictures and names of players here is against TOS, if it was posted and not allowed on the forums. From what I've read.

How does that ring alarms bells?? You're only assuming the worse, the reason why they never want to say anything is because they don't want to, and its not even because of a reason. If people don't speak or want to start up a conversation, because they don't want to, then is that determined as them as being afraid?? It does not. You clearly don't know me or how my FC members are. Thank you very much.

[Sated]

This rings alarm bells for me. If your own members don't feel they can tell you about something, that means they are afraid of you as an FC leader. And I mean if all of them didn't say anything. Because if this was done in private, not public, and you kept it anonymous (which you don't seem to do by your own admission putting the kicking on your own Discord) then yes, I wouldn't want to say anything.

It sounds really normal to me 'cause it's something I do and it's not because I don't trust leadership, it's because I don't want to make waves. Someone will do something that bothers me but it's not a big enough issue that I bother bringing it up because by itself, it's really not a huge thing and likely won't happen again. If it does I might do something, if not I'll just ignore them or stop talking to them, especially if it seems like others get along with them. It sounds like there were a few people who were offenders in this case, making it really difficult to speak out if you feel like the one person who was offended by an established clique in a group.

In my experiences with similar situations, the offender will have rubbed a lot of the group the wrong way for some time but everyone is too nice to do anything about it until someone brings up a specific instance and then everyone breathes a sigh of relief "Oh, it's not just me then" and airs their grievances. I've seen this happen plenty of times, especially in the close groups where people try to keep things calm and chill.

Yakoo, don't let the gaslighting get to you. Like, legit this didn't need to come into the forums but you did fine otherwise.