All I can say is practice practice practice.
I don't even heal anymore and I keep track of all of the things you listed and still maintain a nearly perfect rotation (At least for the classes I don't suck with), I'm not saying this to brag, just saying this because over time you develop a sense for these things and become more easily able to take in all the information at a snapshot.
With time monitoring health bars and debuffs will become second nature and you can confirm the status of the party with a single glance at your party and around you.
Also, don't forget that you can always cancel your casts and go into a heal, or that you have ogcd healing abilities you can use instead. I can't confirm for WHM or AST but you can spam aoe skills while still targeting the tank as a SCH. Heck even keeping your DOT skill on the boss 100% of the time will come a long way.
I also recommend positioning yourself medium range behind the boss so that your AOE heals can reach the tank, all melee dps, and the ranged and caster dps that prefer to hang back a little because of their range.
Lastly, don't get intimidated by dpsing, it's just one button that you can use without restriction and easily cancel if healing is needed, dps and tanks have dozens of buttons, and each bit of extra dps you're adding makes the boss or trash mobs die faster and in the case of dungeons, let the tank save more cooldowns.




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