When do the training wheels come off?

[Forever_Learning]

I'm going to state this once.

Please read it carefully:

Doing the MSQ and Class/Job Quests gives you equipment. There is no reason, beyond being neglectful, that anyone doing ARR should end up going into a dungeon/trial with equipment more than (a lenient) 10 levels below the dungeon's/Trial's level. Not only that but equipment is insanely cheap to purchase from stores if you are THAT hard up for a piece of equipment. This all excludes Accessories because they don't actually matter much while leveling.

Also, you aren't wiping because the other players are carrying you.

You're moving the goalposts here. The tank in question was using a level 15 shield in a level 44 instance, not gear from the previous dungeon. There is no excuse besides deliberate laziness for using gear that is almost 30 levels too low.

Having full poetics gear isn't comparable to having a mix of +10 levels under gear that's a mix of caster/DPS/tank gear for a 4 man trial.

I'm going to state this once.

Please read it carefully:

Doing the MSQ and Class/Job Quests gives you equipment. There is no reason, beyond being neglectful, that anyone doing ARR should end up going into a dungeon/trial with equipment more than (a lenient) 10 levels below the dungeon's/Trial's level. Not only that but equipment is insanely cheap to purchase from stores if you are THAT hard up for a piece of equipment. This all excludes Accessories because they don't actually matter much while leveling.

Also, you aren't wiping because the other players are carrying you.

I think this comment was directed personally at me, but I buy poetics gear and gear from NPC vendors to ensure I don’t stay behind. But I also remember making mistakes a few months ago that were silly, but it was because I was returning to the game rather than being dumb and lazy. My beef is that people in the past tended to always just assume I’m dumb and lazy if I do something wrong while simultaneously never explaining to me what I did wrong.

I find that the only reasons for people being in this situation is ignorance of how poorly the Recommended Gear button is implemented at low levels or how different stats affect them (in which case, elucidation of the feature is required), ignorance of the fact that they can get acceptable gear from a vendor (prompting a quick pointer to what vendor sells gear they can use; or if I'm feeling generous, a free, full HQ set for their job when the duty is finished that'll be good to last them 10 levels), or just outright laziness (which is not an acceptable excuse).

The recommended gear button is very appealing and I don’t think it’s a coincidence we’re discussing a level 44 tank. Yelling at that person, kicking them, isn’t going to help them realize the limitations of the recommended gear button.
When someone doesn’t have their stone, ask them if they are aware they don’t have their stone equipped. It’s quite possible they don’t realize the recommended gear button doesn’t always equip the stone and could be standing there as confused as you are.

For example, I once healed a dungeon where the tank wasn’t using grit, and this was a HW dungeon. I could have yelled at the tank, tried to initiate a kick, but instead I simply said “Are you aware you don’t have grit on?” – one second later, it was on and never left.

I find it’s more useful to interact with the other player rather than simply assuming they are dumb, lazy, and nothing will change no matter is said. Some people are just new, but willing to work, or they don’t realize they forgot to do something they normally do.