Expectations are ruining this game

[Lascivus]

Are you referring to people on the forums? They're probably just venting. I'll certainly talk shit about someone on a forum or to my friends, but unless they're REALLY bad, I'd never say it to their face.

If you're not actually getting any vitriol about this in-game, then don't look stuff up. I certainly don't (except for EX duties), and I can't say I've had any problems. Everybody's new at some point.

Go in blind. Most mechanics are re-used enough that it's obvious what to do based on the icons used, or aren't punishing enough that no one will die if you screw it up once while you learn.

That's what I say. But they honestly feel like if they don't know what to do as a tank, that they shouldn't do it. And it's taking a lot of the fun out of it.

[ElroyDrundan]

That's what I say. But they honestly feel like if they don't know what to do as a tank, that they shouldn't do it. And it's taking a lot of the fun out of it.

Couple of thoughts, right now at 80 I love seeing the new to an instance message as that means more tomes as I'm gearing up other jobs. I'm sure most others feel the same way.

Some of what you say though in someways seems as selfish as the people you are complaining about.

You: " I want to run the dungeon blind, I don't want pointers, etc." This means the others get to deal with wipes, rezzes etc. It seems you are saying your desires are more important than the others desire to have a smooth run. I'm not saying you are wrong to want this, but it seems others are equally justified in not wanting to deal with that type of a run.

That said: I and my friends never have an issue with new players, in fact we will ask before bosses if they want basic strats, if they said we want to go in blind I'd be okay with that as well. But you have to understand depending on your jobs, you going in blind could mean a wipe(s), which means adding another 5 mins for each one to the time of the dungeon. Luckily in dungeons there are very few miss a mechanic and party wipes type scenarios. It usually just means more rezzing, more healing. Though the tank or healer dying can often lead to a wipe...

I've never run into anyone being hostile or mad about this type of thing in any DF I've been in. In fact folks are often nice to new tanks, as in previous expansions tanks were always in need so getting new tanks into the mix was a good thing.

PF as others have said sounds perfect for you, you can post blind run, no experience etc. Fill the group with exactly the type of folks you are wanting to adventure with. Joining a FC is also something you might want to try, we will do full FC groups for those that are new, need to clear content etc.

[MomomiMomi]

That's what I say. But they honestly feel like if they don't know what to do as a tank, that they shouldn't do it. And it's taking a lot of the fun out of it.

Sorry to hear that you and your fiance are going though this, but "they feel like" is a problem that they themselves have created. No, I'm not blaming them. They probably have anxiety, which if they do, I understand as a person who has had to deal with anxiety for years. But this is simply a problem that they themselves must overcome. Don't put the blame onto the community for a perceived expectation on your part that isn't an actual expectation of the community.