Is it possible to put too much pressure on yourself?

[KaivaC]

Except, you are disregarding what everyone is saying. Because you continue to make threads—all with the same theme. It’s never-ending.

Except I am not. Maybe I should not have deleted my post - I think Vahl is probably the one of the few who may have seen what I originally typed before deleting the post, so I'll sum it up here: I am having an extremely hard time trying to comprehend this. Maybe I am set in my ways because I do feel like raiding is a competition, but it's not like I'm ignoring what is said ...but it's also very hard for me to change my mindset on certain things, and through my various threads, I am trying to get a fairly large pool of opinions so that I can try to understand.

The problem I think is that I don't think some individuals can see where I am coming from or where I stand. I've said it multiple times - it has come to my belief from interactions from several people that with my experience being a grey DPS equates to being a bad player. Some of y'all have said that it's more than just numbers - I am starting to acknowledge that, yes, but at the end of the day, all it takes is just having one person look at my current Savage log to mark me as a bad player. And trust me, it has happened several times in this patch. Even when I make one tiny mistake in 4.4 on something like eating one single orb and getting a vuln stack in the first phase of Byakko Ex, and I get kicked when other players have made larger, much more obvious mistakes simply because the party leader looked at my Alphascape Savage logs and saw nothing but grey on O9S.

This just might be flat out a case of not really understanding where exactly I am coming from.

Yes you are. I have the same problem. I know I'm too hard on myself and its ruining my enjoyment of the game and my motivation to get better in efficiently but I cant help it. But like me, you should never give up. becuase you WILL succeed eventually if you honestly keep trying. just as I will. Anyone can do any content they desire if they put in the work. Yes ultimate too. How do you think those players got where they are? hard work. they're not naturally any better than you or me.

Same. I just can't help it. Especially in light of the recent kicks that I've had and the general comments I've read about raiders who are grey. Honestly, being a grey player pisses me off to no end, which in turn drives me to figure out what it is that I'm screwing up to stop being a grey player. I don't particularly care about getting orange and purple in normal raids and 24 mans, because nobody cares about those. I'm going by what I had been told in the past about the problems of being a Chad.

I'd recommend to record a video of your raiding attempt (preferably with numbers) and then ask someone who is proficient in this job for an advice and suggestions.

I might have to do that. I did get in touch with someone on another part of the forums and let them know who I am so they can give me some tips on how to get better - and so far, it's been a nice improvement to the point that if I stay focused, I can probably reach the level that I've been spending all my game time trying to reach. We'll see how that translates next time I go raiding. At this point, I feel like it's a good thing I am on a different character.

[Sylvina]

Nothing makes me more angry than those players who will blacklist you or treat you poorly just becuase you don't perform to their standards. those are the true "Bad" players and it doesn't matter what their numbers are if they act like garbage human beings.

[HyoMinPark]

Except I am not. Maybe I should not have deleted my post - I think Vahl is probably the one of the few who may have seen what I originally typed before deleting the post, so I'll sum it up here: I am having an extremely hard time trying to comprehend this. Maybe I am set in my ways because I do feel like raiding is a competition, but it's not like I'm ignoring what is said ...but it's also very hard for me to change my mindset on certain things, and through my various threads, I am trying to get a fairly large pool of opinions so that I can try to understand.

The problem I think is that I don't think some individuals can see where I am coming from or where I stand. I've said it multiple times - it has come to my belief from interactions from several people that with my experience being a grey DPS equates to being a bad player. Some of y'all have said that it's more than just numbers - I am starting to acknowledge that, yes, but at the end of the day, all it takes is just having one person look at my current Savage log to mark me as a bad player. And trust me, it has happened several times in this patch. Even when I make one tiny mistake in 4.4 on something like eating one single orb and getting a vuln stack in the first phase of Byakko Ex, and I get kicked when other players have made larger, much more obvious mistakes simply because the party leader looked at my Alphascape Savage logs and saw nothing but grey on O9S.

This just might be flat out a case of not really understanding where exactly I am coming from.

I actually saw your post before it was deleted; I just opted not to respond at that time since I was on my way to bed. And really, I personally felt that anything I did say wouldn’t be taken to heart anyways. That being said, it has been quoted, and now everyone can see it and read what you originally said. My point wasn’t being made with regards to that specific post though—it was being made with regards to your threads and your posts as a whole.

I urge you to really look at what I said again—I said that you are disregarding the things that people say. I did not say that you were ignoring them, though it can certainly come off as that way when one constantly repeating advice is involved. I said that you disregard them.

I say you are disregarding everything people are saying because the threads made are always the same: always the same content about how you’re a bad player; how you want advice on how to get better at raiding; how concerned you are with FFLogs; how you’ve based your entire worth on them; etc..

The advice given to you is always the same: here’s a guide for whatever job you’re currently maining; here’s tips on how to optimize bit by bit; stop concerning yourself with a number because there’s more to it than that; don’t base your entire worth on it; it takes time to reach the level you want; etc..

People have given you Discords in the past to try and help you with rotations—I remember someone saying they gave you the Discord of a MNK main back in Sigmascape and asked if you ever tried to follow up with them with any questions that you may have had. I have spoken with you personally in the past on Discord about your concerns. Multiple times. And where has any of that gotten any of us? Where has it gotten you?

It never seems to matter, because in a few weeks, you’re back with another thread with the same concerns as before. So it comes off as you not taking any advice we give you to heart—in other words, it comes off as you disregarding it entirely. Why?

You take things way too personally. That Byakko kick? If it was supposedly for the reasons you said, why would you even care? Everyone has already told you how silly and stupid a reason it was, so why can’t you just let it go and shrug it off as just that: a silly, stupid thing that happened? Why do you keep bringing it up? Why are you letting it define you? Why do you base your worth on what strangers on the Internet think?

You have unrealistic expectations for yourself in this game. And I say that as a person who has unrealistic expectations for herself in this game. Or, well, who used to. And the moment I stopped having my high expectations was the moment I actually started to realize and hit my goals. And no, they didn’t happen overnight. Nothing ever happens overnight; that’s not the way life works. And creating thread after thread lamenting it doesn’t make it happen either. You make it happen.

So stop making threads and make it happen.

[Annoynymoose]

I think you really need to step back and take a break from this game. Seriously.

You've been creating similar threads and people have been giving you so many good advices, and yet, you disregard them everytime. Sorry to say this but with what you're doing now, you'll never improve at this rate. It's a neverending cycle, really.

[Vahlnir]

I think you really need to step back and take a break from this game. Seriously.

You've been creating similar threads and people have been giving you so many good advices, and yet, you disregard them everytime. Sorry to say this but with what you're doing now, you'll never improve at this rate. It's a neverending cycle, really.

Is this...logical thinking? Sorry, you must leave. It is not welcome here.

[Annoynymoose]

Is this...logical thinking? Sorry, you must leave. It is not welcome here.

Don't mind me, I'm just lurking.

[Paladinleeds]

So stop making threads and make it happen.

I'm going to highlight this. What Hyomin said here is completely true. Seek professional help if you have to, since I suffer from the same issues and know how easily it can leak into everything outside the game too (I actually struggle with it). As a result of my issues, I've had to seek professional therapy. Thankfully, with the new static I'm making, I'm going to have a certain friend with me who will be able to ground me if I start to throw myself off-balance. So it should be possible to do it with her help.

But I'm still getting the professional help anyway. Why? Because I'm having problems making the change and need professionals to work with me to change my habits. It sounds like you need it too, as these are deeply embedded thinking patterns of yours from what I can tell. But I would like to add that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, because it's you being able to show yourself that you can't do this alone. That's half the battle, realising you need the help.

And yes Kaiva, you had been disregarding the advice, whether or not that was your intention. Take it from someone who struggles with this sort of stuff, I say things that come across badly all the time. The intentions were good, the reality of it wasn't. Intent doesn't matter here, only how it was perceived.

[Gin_Gray]

100% what Hyo said, you could go back months to all your threads regarding topic this and get the answers you seek. At this point it just feel like a never ending cycle which is sad cause you can and have the means/time to improve.

[Sigma-Astra]

I put pressure on myself all of the time in-game and out of the game. You learn to pick yourself up and continue where you started and take your failures as things to challenge and improve yourself on while you take your victories humbly.

If I allowed every drop of criticism, especially the negative kind, to knock me off-course throughout my education and career (I'm in the art field), I wouldn't have much of a career and frankly, probably would have been told that I chose the wrong field then.

But, what you're doing is only a cycle of constant self-loathing and hurting yourself if you learn nothing from your past issues.

[KaivaC]

Probably should step away from the forums for a while (or try to, at least). You guys are right - for months, you've all been giving me the answers that I keep asking, but I'm just not seeing them because, as Sigma stated above, I'm stuck in something of a cycle of self-loathing. Something that I obviously need to fix. Lest I lose this outlet to talk to as well. So, gonna get to work on some things, step away from the forums for a bit, and see what happens from there.