(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[HyoMinPark]

Now you're making stretches. See my edit. Unless I've signed a contract or made a verbal agreement with you, it's socially unacceptable for you to start telling others how to play.

How are they making a stretch? You are the one arguing the semantics of the word “job”—“job” in FFXIV is used to describe what you are playing: PLD, WAR, DRK are tank jobs, WHM, SCH, AST are healer jobs, etc.. We are not talking about a “job” as in a place where you go daily to earn wages. You’re going to lose the argument here, because “job” is what people say to refer to what one plays in the context of this game (and, by extension, in the context of this thread).

If you are in high-end content, there is a level of competency expected of you. Considering one example in the OP was about Tsukuyomi EXTREME, one expects a level of competency in content like that. Yesterday, I was in a group (TsukuEx) with a BRD that never used Refresh for the healers even though we were bottoming out on MP from raising people that were getting hit by the blades. I was in another one where we had a RDM and a SMN, and neither would help raise dead players (even the healers so we could healer LB3 to try and save the run), nor use Mana Shift. When I have to ask for Mana Shift or Refresh in content where it should be expected (especially Refresh because the BRD/MCH lose nothing for using it), there is a problem. Asking a player “Can you please use Refresh for the healer’s MP?” is not unsoliticted advice—it is expected play in high-end content.

If players are in high-end content, they need to know how to play their jobs far beyond just the basics. If they don’t, people are going to call them out on it. Honestly, they should be the ones who are ashamed: joining Extreme primal farms or Savage weeklies and not even knowing the basics of their jobs. They are a hinderance to the other 7 people there, and just because you can be carried through content doesn’t mean that it’s right. Again, I joined a “farm” yesterday with, not only a BONUS, but a SAM that was doing 2,000 less damage than me...a BRD...who had DIED. But they told me that I was the one who sucked when I said I was done after we couldn’t even get past Moon Phase.

Making a mistake should never lead to a removal from the party. Someone can make a mistake, and realize what they did wrong. You do not need unsolicited advice to correct the error. If you get permission? Give the advice all day long. But until you do, or the person is willing to receive it, it is rude and inconsiderate to give unsolicited advice.

It depends on the type of the mistake, and the frequency. If you have someone dying multiple times to the SAME THING, and refusing to listen to advice on how not to die, then they should be the one removed from the group, not the person trying to tell them how to stay alive. Same thing if you have someone that you are clearly carrying through the content—a BRD that refuses to play their songs is not only hurting themselves, but the group as well. If they refuse to use them, then why should the person who asked “Can you please use your songs? You’re a BRD, and you’re hurting your damage and ours” be the one who is forceibly removed? This is speaking in terms of high-end content (though, as a BRD main, I take issue with any BRD I meet in any content that ignores their songs, especially since they are GAINS for them now).

As I said above, I consider it rude on the person who is clearly struggling, and stubbornly refusing to listen to advice that will keep them alive or make the content easier. And this is with regardless of the content. I can be extremely lenient on people that are new, but I also expect them to listen when I explain to them how they can stay alive and make it through the content unscathed. Thankfully, a lot of sprouts and truly new players are more than willing to listen to advice—it’s the veterans that never want to listen, to change, or to adapt. At least in my experience.
This just reminds me of when I ran Halatali for the first time on my alt a few days ago, and the tank spoke up saying “Hi! I’m new, so please let me know what I need to do if I’m doing something wrong! ”, and the mentor was the one who was like “nope” and instantly left the dungeon. How incredibly rude can you get?