(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[Elliebird]

And this is why online gaming gets so toxic, when so many people refuse to embrace common social norms.

If you insist on thinking of it like that, then I have no power to stop you. However, I will never see people helping eachother as something toxic, especially in an online game. We'll simply have to agree to disagree on this.

[Sylvina]

Me giving advice:


True Story.

[Crystal_Raven]

Now you're making stretches. See my edit. Unless I've signed a contract or made a verbal agreement with you, it's socially unacceptable for you to start telling others how to play.

Following your logic, then instead of trying to teach, you recommend simply removing you from the party entirely when you make mistakes.

Ok, as you wish.

[LeoLupinos]

I always try to help.
I'm not easy on ungrateful ones. No outrages to my home.

[Tanathya]

Tl;Dr: I'm being treated like a criminal in parties for daring to help, and it's driving me insane.

I was a Mentor since the day they implemented it. Quite a long time ago I stopped being one, so I don't give advice anymore, I spit it out while calling them out and no one can mention how bad the Mentor system is.

[LeoLupinos]

People act like group content is a solo content, but actually it's a team, giving advice is part of the run. Nobody is perfect.

[Maero]

The other day did the new dungeon for a 2nd time and the area with walls and water rushing in i told the group that it is safer behind walls. The Tank basically said i like being up front, don't tell me what to do.
I actually mean't for the dps and healer and said so afterwords.
Otherwise i have not encountered anything in sometime because i do not bother anymore.

[Squintina]

A lot of people can't handle being told that they should try to be good at a game (I wonder how those people handle really difficult single player games....), so they lash out and call people who dare give advice no-lifers, with this stereotype that people who give advice are elite players who spend tens of hours a day playing.

Then you have a lot of people who don't want to deal with the drama, so even though they might be ok with getting advice, they'll jump down on anyone who dares to give advice to others in the party to try to shut that down.

All you can do is try to get like-minded people from FC/statics and go with them.

Of course this isn't everyone. Yesterday I finally got around to doing the trial for MSQ (what? I was enjoying other content like the active hunt linkshells, active marketboard, and command missions. No need to rush. Patches are great for doing things that aren't just new content.) and people were super nice about those of us late-msq-ers asking for just 1 try of a blind run so we'd get that "day 1" experience. Then once we failed (majorly), they respectfully gave advice and no one took it badly.

[Elliebird]

Of course this isn't everyone. Yesterday I finally got around to doing the trial for MSQ (what? I was enjoying other content like the active hunt linkshells, active marketboard, and command missions. No need to rush. Patches are great for doing things that aren't just new content.) and people were super nice about those of us late-msq-ers asking for just 1 try of a blind run so we'd get that "day 1" experience. Then once we failed (majorly), they respectfully gave advice and no one took it badly.

I'm happy to hear that they were able to have an experience like that. Advice or no advice, the way people treat eachother can make the difference between a great run or a horrid one. The courtesy to help without looking down on others goes a long way for a genre that relies so much on its community. I don't know what I would've done if people hadn't helped me when I first started.

[Averax]

I had a summoner once in HW during Fractal Continuum that was just applying dots and burning through aetherflow asap (with energy drain). He wasn't taking advantage of trance, and just using deathflare instantly on cooldown. He wasn't using ruin at all, but he would randomly cast tri-bind sometimes.

It was just a dungeon, but nothing was dying at all (because the ninja was periodically falling asleep during the run, irl), it took us an hour to get through the place. I told him that he needs to at very least be using ruin in his downtime, instead of just standing there waiting for aetherflow. I also told him to save Aetherflow stacks for Fester or Painflare/Bane if there's multiple enemies. I also told him he should be casting ruin 3 during trance and casting deathflare when it was almost over, and that he should never cast tri-bind (which was then useless).

How did he respond? He told me to back off and that he was only trying to have fun, and that i should focus on my healing because apparently i suck at it (despite nobody dying the entire time). Then he ragequit at the last boss.

I can't help but wonder what exactly is fun about playing like garbage, taking an hour to do something that should take about 15 minutes, and just standing there waiting for a mobs to die while you just watch your dots tick.

The ninja got an earful from me too. Told him if he can't stay awake during a dungeon, then he shouldn't queue.

People are stupid. So painfully, unashamedly stupid and stubborn. It's not worth it to try to offer friendly advice when a majority of people aren't willing to accept it nicely. Be blunt, and if they are unwilling to change, then they get the boot. Simple and painless. The tone you're trying to give does not come across in text. People assume you're insulting them directly, so it's best not to even bother and try to honey up your words.