Anxiety over Savage

[HyoMinPark]

Maybe you are just bad at the game?

People needs to stop thinking that anxiety is the main soruce of al his problems.

Spoken like someone who has never suffered from anxiety a day in their life.

Anxiety is not rational; it causes you to think irrationally with regards to everything. And, as someone who has suffered from intense anxiety for well over 10 years, has been to therapy for it, and who still has to take medication sometimes to get it under control during stressful periods, I firmly believe OP is suffering from it based alone on the comments about that little voice in the back of his mind telling him he isn't good enough. I also have that voice that screams to me about everything if it is anything but perfection; and supporting comments from friends and family are not always enough to make it shut up. It tends to just scream louder over them.

It's incredibly insensitive to try and say someone who you don't even know is "just bad at the game" because you cannot sympathize with what it's like to be truly anxious over every little thing. If you ever have suffered from anxiety, well your post says otherwise in its ignorance. If you have, then why don't you try to be a tad more sympathetic towards someone who just came to a forum to share his concerns, and hopefully find someone who can give him some advice that stems from experience with these very same issues.


To OP, ignoring that voice in your head is one of the hardest things to do. But I believe that you can do it. If you have a good support system (i.e., a good static or a good set of friends), then I think they can go a long way to help you in talking down that little voice. Don't give up. Keep trying. Even if you don't believe in yourself right now, your friends do. Let them help you foster that esteem in yourself. Anxiety is really hard, but it can be fought and overcome. Keep trying! I believe in you!

I suffer from the same things you do. I managed to clear Neo in Deltascape, and I'm on God Kefka now in Sigmascape. Keep trying!! It may take several attempts, but keep picking yourself back up. And tell that voice to shove it whenever it starts to scream.

you should stop playing savage then... why people like to be so "drama queen"?

Because sharing one's concerns makes them a drama queen?

Why do people have so little empathy these days... it's incredibly disheartening.


OP, don't listen to posts like this. Pay attention more to the positive advice people are giving you. If you truly want to continue Savage, lean on your support system and listen to them over that annoying little voice. If it ends up causing you too much anxiety in the end, there is no shame in not doing Savage. Recognizing that it would be unhealthy for you is actually very mature, in my opinion. It shows that you know what's best for yourself, and that you want to do what's best for yourself to keep yourself happy and healthy.

[Shizue]

I think you've already found your solution, OP. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. It's a game and you can play it however you want.

[Vhailor]

It'd be really nice if SE built a solo 'practice mode' for Savage-level content, something that put you into a simulated sort of experience (maybe one without damage being dealt) so that you could practice the mechanics until you got it right. Or, hell, even a 'practice mode' that people could form parties for, that did trivial amounts of damage but instead gave pass/fail grades on mechanics and repeated them as necessary until everyone figured it out. There's a lot they could do, albeit it'd require a nontrivial amount of effort from the development team.

That said, I think it could open Savage up for a lot of players. I know I avoid Savage because involving other people in my learning stages is something I find quite stressful, even if the party is set up for precisely this purpose. It'd be interesting to see how many players would embrace the harder content if it were just a bit more comfortable for them to learn...

[micropanther7]

It'd be really nice if SE built a solo 'practice mode' for Savage-level content, something that put you into a simulated sort of experience (maybe one without damage being dealt) so that you could practice the mechanics until you got it right. Or, hell, even a 'practice mode' that people could form parties for, that did trivial amounts of damage but instead gave pass/fail grades on mechanics and repeated them as necessary until everyone figured it out. There's a lot they could do, albeit it'd require a nontrivial amount of effort from the development team.

That said, I think it could open Savage up for a lot of players. I know I avoid Savage because involving other people in my learning stages is something I find quite stressful, even if the party is set up for precisely this purpose. It'd be interesting to see how many players would embrace the harder content if it were just a bit more comfortable for them to learn...

So much this, I would love that! Omegaher, some people have given great advice in this thread so I won't rehash that, but I would strongly suggest one thing that can help with the anxiety, or at least possibly relieve it... running things unsynced solo, you can learn tactics, improve your response times and reflexes, as well as your keybinds and UI... having a good set up you're comfortable can be a huge help, make use of macros as well. I'm having a blast doing the Ex Primals at the moment, without the anxiety I'm learning the strategy a lot quicker. Once I'm comfortable with that, I'll run it with people synced And it's ok to make mistakes, no-one is perfect, so don't be too hard on yourself I would find raiding personally stressful as well, not my cup of tea, but never say never

Edit: Just noticed you're a tank, I'd say solo stuff unsynced with a healer friend

[BluexBird]

SAVAAAGE!

You're right. Savage is SCARY STUFF! D; But you know... the more you do it, the better you will get. Even if Kefka is too much for you to handle right now, you can give Exdeath a try. Yes you will mess up a lot, but everyone messes up when they're still learning the fight. It's perfectly normal. And if people aren't messing up, it means they probably aren't taking any risks. Which means their DPS will be crap. No one - absolutely no one - goes into a new fight without dying tons of times to mechanics that later become very very easy to avoid.

You just have to keep practicing. With every death, you will learn something new, until you get to the point where your deaths will barely ever happen. And when they DO happen, it'll be because you apparently didn't know everything you needed to know. But guess what! NOW DO YOU! Or at least, now you're one step closer to knowing everything there is to know about the fight. And all because you messed up.

[Kakiko]

You all need to get the heck out of my head. Seriously. Especially OP. I have clinically diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and generalized depressive disorders. Not self-diagnosed. Not "I get a little nervous." These are things that have been diagnosed by several specialists over the years and things I have taken several different medications to control over the years.

I want to do savage. I really do. I know I could be good enough, but I get super anxious when I feel that I am subjectively doing worse than everyone else. Even if I know I'm at the top of the DPS list for the group, I oftentimes feel like I'm just not doing well enough.


I tried O5S with the members of a static in my FC and despite having watched the video about half a dozen times, I somehow blanked out and missed the push ghost right at the beginning and died. At that moment, my anxiety hit the ceiling (because they were calling it out at the same time as well and I don't know how I just didn't do the mechanic correctly). When I died almost immediately after being raised (not sure why I died), and voice chat became very quiet before we wiped, my anxiety went through the roof. Hearing some of the things on voice chat about how the raid leader knew I would die and that's fine, but everyone else needed to get with it, I broke down. I already had my mic muted but by now I was in tears of frustration and had to tell one of my friends in the group to let them know I was backing out. I couldn't even voice it myself. No one contested it vocally although the one friend did tell me privately to keep going but at that point I was a mess. They did say I was doing better than they did on their first run (but my anxiety makes me believe they were saying that to be polite because I quite literally died 10 seconds into the fight). I had told them to find my EB partner as he was better, but they wanted a caster, and I knew this would happen. When I left, I told them to get him and they did. An hour later, they'd cleared it and have continued to clear it and O6S three times a week since. They're working on O7S now.

Every time I consider going back in, I feel my anxiety start to ramp up and my heart rate start to increase.

I practice on the O5S dummy multiple times a day; I research various tips for my class all the time; I watch videos of BLM povs for fights, I read and read the forums and The Balance discord server, and Reddit, for tips about BLM. I work on different melds (I'm in full Eureka gear now and I've melded for just over 1900 spell speed and the rest Crit and Direct). I can kill the O5S dummy usually with about 20 seconds to spare, with an average of around 5500-6100 on the log.

I know I could do the raid but the thought of letting 7 other people down or contributing to wipes because I hold myself to higher standards than I hold other people, absolutely paralyzes me.

Someone suggested there being a practice mode and I would absolutely love that. I know that once I see all the mechanics a few times, I get really really good at working with them. That is something my EB partner has said before: I have zero patience with myself initially, but when I'm forced to continue and eventually see everything for myself (rather than in a video), I do very very well with mechanics. It's getting to that point and not backing out that I have problems with. It took 4 days for me to clear Byakko through PF learning parties and I came thisclose to rage unsubbing over it because I was so annoyed with my inability to avoid mechanics (the balls and the lightning specifically) but now that I have the mechanics down, I know where to stand and who to jump to quickly to get out of the way of things; where to drop leylines and when so I can zip back to them to avoid another mechanic, etc. But having a practice mode beyond "stand still and hit a dummy for 3 minutes" would have been an absolute godsend and probably wouldn't have caused me to get so upset initially.

Short of that solo practice suggestion, getting a party finder together as a true learning, step-by-step, party would be great but I don't think a lot of people want that. Even in learning parties for other fights, people expect to clear within 1-3 pulls.

I'm on the same data center as OP. OP, if you ever want to team up and do a step-by-step learning party, let me know. Even if we put a limit on how far we go "learn to X mechanic" and then take a break. Let's do it

[Shihen]

Why do people have so little empathy these days... it's incredibly disheartening.

I mean, I feel for OP. The guy I've been hopping from MMO to MMO with for over a decade suffers from the same issue, both in-game and out, and it seems like a situation that's almost impossible to get out of. It's affected every aspect of his life and relationships in a negative way and I really wish I could get back the guy I met in middle school.

But there's a time and a place for everything. The general forum is just a discussion board, it's not the drop-off station for personal baggage. I hope OP gets the help he needs, but that journey starts in a therapist's office.

[HyoMinPark]

I mean, I feel for OP. The guy I've been hopping from MMO to MMO with for over a decade suffers from the same issue, both in-game and out, and it seems like a situation that's almost impossible to get out of. It's affected every aspect of his life and relationships in a negative way and I really wish I could get back the guy I met in middle school.

But there's a time and a place for everything. The general forum is just a discussion board, it's not the drop-off station for personal baggage. I hope OP gets the help he needs, but that journey starts in a therapist's office.

I have to respectfully disagree. Sometimes it is easier for people to post their concerns anonymously on a discussion forum. The anonymity makes the admission easier, and the idea of being able to participate in conversation whenever you want can also appeal to those who are introverted, rather than a face-to-face session with a therapist. Therapy isn't always effective, especially if a person is uncomfortable with face-to-face. Some therapists also seem less interested in helping and more interested in their paycheck. Not saying the OP has been in these situations, but I went to one who was more concerned with the money they could make off of me, and which drug they could push on me.

I think the journey starts with just reaching out to someone; not necessarily someone who is a therapist. Friends or family or even strangers on a forum that OP thinks can help them think things through. Doesn't have to be a paid professional.

I don't know what OP's reasons were, but it could be that he lurks on the OF (not posting often, but just reading) and thought people here could help him if he reached out for it. Or he felt like this was an easier place to talk about his problems because of the anonymity. I can appreciate that. I made a thread a year ago when I was going through something very hard, and I am grateful for the responses I got. They helped me cope a lot more than the people realize, I'm sure. It was also just nice to get it out, and the OF just happened to be my outlet of choice.

[Shihen]

I think the journey starts with just reaching out to someone; not necessarily someone who is a therapist. Friends or family or even strangers on a forum that OP thinks can help them think things through. Doesn't have to be a paid professional.

I don't know what OP's reasons were, but it could be that he lurks on the OF (not posting often, but just reading) and thought people here could help him if he reached out for it. Or he felt like this was an easier place to talk about his problems because of the anonymity. I can appreciate that. I made a thread a year ago when I was going through something very hard, and I am grateful for the responses I got.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Hopefully this works out the same way.

[BluexBird]

-snippy-

Man this breaks my heart. D: No one should have to feel like this because of raiding...

If you ever need a tanky to help clear any of the raids, lemme know. I'm bored most of the time when I'm on, so I try to help out 0-chest groups get their clear.

Same goes to you, OP.