Confessions of a Toxic Elitist

[KaivaC]

First off, @Estellise, I hope you see this, and I am open to your offer. I'll look you up next time I'm logged in and send a request.

On the subject of my parses, up until recently, I didn't have a reliable source of my uploads. 95% of the logs that have been uploaded under me, I had zero control over. Meaning at the time, I didn't know that they were uploaded (and to be honest, up until I joined the forums, I had no idea that FFLOGs existed). And because in a PUG environment, parses are a sketchy subject, I rarely asked about them in groups of randoms, which is where I am the majority of the time. I have gone into Sigmascape Savage every week - unfortunately, those logs weren't uploaded, but the normal Sigmascape runs uploaded recently were indicative that I hadn't really improved. I have to repeat again that if I was on PC, there would definitely be far more logs as SMN for Savage.

As far as my worth within FFXIV goes, yes, I can't lie about that, I judge my own ability to play well and be a good player based on my damage numbers. And yes, I do feel like as a 9th percentile SMN at this moment, I am not good. Is that due to competitiveness or depression? I honestly have no idea. But that's me. Outside of the forums, I don't try to get players to play a certain way. Because of my threads, I started getting called a toxic elitist in-game because some players have recognized my name from here. And that is on me. I've been called an elitist here on the forums maybe a couple of times, and that is on me.

This is not about parsers...this is simply about my own arrogance and my hubris. This is sharing my thoughts, and opening the thread to others who hit a wall similar to mines and seeing how they were able to deal with it. I've owned up to that since the first page - even inviting folks to actually look at my logs and seeing how my big talk amounted to nothing when I personally finally started seeing just how much I did not compare to the raiding community.

[Estelle9lives]

First off, @Estellise, I hope you see this, and I am open to your offer. I'll look you up next time I'm logged in and send a request.

Mhm, feel free to do so! I'm usually on everyday after 6PM EST.